My pops and I relationship

[NeilCartwright]

I'm legitimately confused about this shyt. I'm 23 and my pops is 54.

Let me
Begin by saying he was never a dead beat, was there from the beginning, always did his best. So it could be a lot worse, we know brehs who grew up w/out their pops and that shii takes a toll on you. My pops and his 5 brothers were in that boat.

He was in the army for 22 yrs and he was deployed a handful of times. We were never close close then and even now.

As of late he'll hint like he wants to bond and all that but he don't know how to talk to people. My moms says the same thing. He wanna speak his piece but when you reciprocate or ask his opinion he either acts disinterested or literally says "Handle ya business"You could be asking his some real life shii, some shii about females, it don't matter, and he'll just be like "Handle ya business"

I think bc him and his 5 brothers had to do that back in the day that's just how he is

But this shii got me confused bc his favorite line is son you never come to me, I got a wealth of knowledgeand you try to converse w/him and he either acts like he don't give a damn or tells you to handle ya business. As a result I just said fck it and learned most of this stuff through trial and error. I'm moving to Texas for my first full time position in a couple days.

Am I trippen or nah. I love him and I understand where he came from but It makes you not wanna come to him for anything and I think it bothers him

 

[mortuus est]

when he says Handle ya business its code talk for "tell me more"

was your pops in vietnam or something?

 

[ZEB WALTON]

My pops is the same way in that you could try talking to him he seems disinterested or seems like he dont care or wanna hear about it.

The other day i told him he never gave me advise he just set the example he got all offended tellin me ima be one of those guys 60 yrs old on the psychiatrist couch complaining... Still getting sonned :/

I think its just a generational thing breh. Their fathers didnt have these conversations with them. Its "be a man" shyt , yur on ya own. My dad would do anything for me but still yea hes not very social. My pops still thinks its the 60s.

 

[Neuromancer]

when he says Handle ya business its code talk for "tell me more"

was your pops in vietnam or something?

this. Also you may wanna bond before he passes. You may have to press it.

 

[NeilCartwright]

when he says Handle ya business its code talk for "tell me more"

was your pops in vietnam or something?

Nah he was deployed a handful of times overseas but he was in a support type of job

My pops is the same way in that you could try talking to him he seems disinterested or seems like he dont care or wanna hear about it.

The other day i told him he never gave me advise he just set the example he got all offended tellin me ima be one of those guys 60 yrs old on the psychiatrist couch complaining...

I think its just a generational thing breh. Their fathers didnt have these conversations with them. Its like generational "be a man" shyt. My pops still thinks its the 60s.

That's the thing. I respect TF out of him bc it was the typical black American story....6 boys, 2 different baby fathers who weren't around, and my grandma in the projects. Despite this most of em did aightat least by today's standards where you have a legal source of income and only one of em got a criminal record.

But I realize he never had those convos and tbh he just don't know how to talk to people like that. My moms tells him the same thing

Finally a while back he broke down shed a coulple tears and reminded us where he came from etc and said he ain't perfect but he did what he could. I understand that but I be wanting to come to him for things, and I can tell it Lowkey hurts him when I don't

 

[New Username]

He want you to be a man about yours first than come to him if it really goes left

Example

Let’s say you’re having issues with women,

You go to him like pops, I’m trying to fukk with shawty but she playing hard to get....

“Handle ya business”= do what needs to be done

He can’t walk for you, you gotta fall and after that he will consider picking you up only after you tried to walk

that’s what i get from you pops

Him and your uncles had to build off each other and do by themselves before they can go to someone

 

[GrindMode]

i wish i had a pops to tell me to handle my business