An ashy lil fap hand
Banned
So, if you read that whole thread, you'll get some insight but for the folks that want it (somewhat) convenient, I'll make this post:
I've been doing a lot of really dope shyt, and yeah, you probably have never heard of me. But I really do stand up, work with and for a few of your favorite folks, and have whole career and shyt.
I've 'struggled' with depression my entire adult life. But to keep it real,i always thought that as a black dude I was just supposed to deal with it. I resigned myself to the idea that there was no one really there for me. And on the surface it worked. Incredibly well.
i've had the most productive season in recent memory but at the same time, i was dealing with a lot of suicidal ideation and depressed thinking. I didn't let it get me down at all. Or so i thought. In reality, I convinced myself that I didn't have a problem.
I won't go into specific details unless you wanna ask (in which case i'll be more that happy to answer!) but what I wanna say is, don't bury your feelings.
I went from having the time of my life, to blacking out during a manic episode, and waking up in a hospital. I woke up to a doctor telling me, you check yourself in because you were afraid you were gonna commit suicide. I'm like
but after being out for a day or so, i realized, that yeah...i've straight up been denying myself humanity because i've been so focused on beating the system and securing the bag.
I know I might get some ignorant comments in this thread, neg pending, but the point is simple. Some of y'all might need help and Y'all should not be afraid to get it. Just go for it and be happy that you are doing the best for yourself in a balanced way. Also, I finally get why people are afraid to try stand up comedy.
