FruitOfTheVale
Superstar
I'm 22 days away from my 27th bday... Proud to say I got very few regrets about the moves I've made up to this point. I spent the better part of the last 5 years becoming full-fledged on some filmmaking shyt and it's paid off big time. I've crewed on some indie features and Hollywood TV productions, co-founded a black film production company and I'm pretty close to getting my first general meeting and potential first screenplay sale. The first time I ever seriously thought filmmaking was something I'd be interested in was 8 years ago... a lot happened in a little less than a decade.
On that same note, though, I've had rap dreams for 13 years that never became remotely as real as the film shyt... And the cold part is, I know exactly why. As much as I love writing rhymes, performing and etc, there are certain things that I hate about the shyt. I HATE being in front of camera. I hate the 'persona' of being a rapper and being defined like one. I'm not an entertainer and I'm not exceptionally motivated to churn out product nor to build a rap brand, I just love to rap. That's it. That isn't enough to make a career out of it and I know that.
That being said, I never gave up on it in my head either. As much as it's been rewarding to see the plans I made for building up my film career come to life, it burns a little when I'm literally networking with some of the hip hop artists & legends that I looked up to because of the film services I provide, but not for the reasons I dreamed about. I know for a fact I would legit hate what comes with being them, but that doesn't make me want to rap any less. It's ego shyt at the end of the day, but that shyt really is powerful... in some ways, even more because I know for a fact that I'm a lot better of a rapper right now than I was when I took those dreams more seriously. I never stopped working on my craft and I doubt that I ever will... there's a lot of moments when I wonder what-if. It isn't regret per say, but it's not 100% contentment either.
I fw this site heavy because a lot of folks on here appreciate the same kind of music & rap styles that I do. Unlike most real-life music circles, the community here is legitimately supportive of its own and gives constructive feedback, even if it isn't phrased the way you'd want to hear it. The feedback & interaction I've gotten over the years from sharing my music here was definitely one of the factors that gave me the validation to prioritize my other goals. I didn't have to explain to y'all what it meant to me to be brought on the biggest stage I ever been on by Jay Electronica three years ago and that he actually fukked with it... 90% of the folks I build with on the film tip don't even know who he is
Sometimes it feel like being two different people fr even though I'm one of the lucky few to work out a situation where most of the folks I regularly work with were friends before we started a company together.
Anyway, not sure exactly why I wrote all this lol but I respect all of y'all for dedicating yourselves to your craft and improving year after year. If this music shyt is really what y'all want and you're willing to be full-fledged with it, it's definitely possible. IDK if I'll ever feel differently enough about music to really get out there and pursue it... there's times that I wish I did though for sure.
On that same note, though, I've had rap dreams for 13 years that never became remotely as real as the film shyt... And the cold part is, I know exactly why. As much as I love writing rhymes, performing and etc, there are certain things that I hate about the shyt. I HATE being in front of camera. I hate the 'persona' of being a rapper and being defined like one. I'm not an entertainer and I'm not exceptionally motivated to churn out product nor to build a rap brand, I just love to rap. That's it. That isn't enough to make a career out of it and I know that.
That being said, I never gave up on it in my head either. As much as it's been rewarding to see the plans I made for building up my film career come to life, it burns a little when I'm literally networking with some of the hip hop artists & legends that I looked up to because of the film services I provide, but not for the reasons I dreamed about. I know for a fact I would legit hate what comes with being them, but that doesn't make me want to rap any less. It's ego shyt at the end of the day, but that shyt really is powerful... in some ways, even more because I know for a fact that I'm a lot better of a rapper right now than I was when I took those dreams more seriously. I never stopped working on my craft and I doubt that I ever will... there's a lot of moments when I wonder what-if. It isn't regret per say, but it's not 100% contentment either.
I fw this site heavy because a lot of folks on here appreciate the same kind of music & rap styles that I do. Unlike most real-life music circles, the community here is legitimately supportive of its own and gives constructive feedback, even if it isn't phrased the way you'd want to hear it. The feedback & interaction I've gotten over the years from sharing my music here was definitely one of the factors that gave me the validation to prioritize my other goals. I didn't have to explain to y'all what it meant to me to be brought on the biggest stage I ever been on by Jay Electronica three years ago and that he actually fukked with it... 90% of the folks I build with on the film tip don't even know who he is
Sometimes it feel like being two different people fr even though I'm one of the lucky few to work out a situation where most of the folks I regularly work with were friends before we started a company together.Anyway, not sure exactly why I wrote all this lol but I respect all of y'all for dedicating yourselves to your craft and improving year after year. If this music shyt is really what y'all want and you're willing to be full-fledged with it, it's definitely possible. IDK if I'll ever feel differently enough about music to really get out there and pursue it... there's times that I wish I did though for sure.