Should I Take Unexpected Opportunity?

[Yo Mama]

During the initial corona outbreak as you know, besides "essential workers" we all had more free time than usual on our hands. My husband pointed something out to me and said I should go for it. I didn't bother coz I wouldn't qualify.

He brought it up again later and had even gone to make enquiries in person... And gave me more info, and it was clear there would be tons of applicants better placed than me.

So a poster here on the coli made a thread about already being employed but being home that day and applying to a bunch of jobs... So I was like eff it, nothing to loose. So I applied for the thing and forgot about it.

Then yesterday I get a call of I was free for a virtual interview...

So they say we are from xxxxxx and we have finished reviewing your application and would like to talk to you... You have been accepted are you able to do... At... a place thats like an hour+ drive one way.

So I'm like wow okay. I don't think I can manage to make that, and he was like do you mind if I ask why?

And I was like honestly, I have young kids and am not prepared to relocate so suddenly or make the commute daily. I'd have to get a place there and my kids are so young I'm not prepared to miss these years I'll never get back... I hope I can reapply one day when they are older, coz I thought I would be able to do this locally.

He goes okay, I get it, there is something else locally but not what you applied for, as you know or org has limited spots so you have to agree or decline now for this other thing, which he explained further on.

I was like cool I accept send the offer.

So he goes I'm sending an offer email now, accept it and we move on from there.

I read the offer letter, seemed they did a deeper background search than I thought, they look up your criminal, litigation, debts, credit, history... Their ethics clause is a doozy. So I don't think I can mention them?

So I call my husband and tell him you won't believe that xxxxxx were In touch and Im not able to do that program, hes like "oh well too bad..." And I'm like but.... They made me another unexpected offer... What do you think?" He is quiet then says okay, are you sure coz its not even what you wanted.... I'm like yeah i know but, I mean you put me up to it and what harm to try...

So I could tell from his voice he wasn't "excited" but he said okay accept the offer....

He's been kinda off to me since yesterday and snapped over a small issue this morning. Left for the gym an hour earlier.

This is a very good opportunity, could open me up to areas I hadn't ever considered, financially and also it seems like it would be fun and challenging to do. The schedule at our company would allow me to pursue this since we are the owners and answer to no one.

But it will be time consuming... Not all my time, but a noticeable chunk...

But he is obviously feeling some type of way, did he encourage me to go for this knowing there was probably no chance of my making it? Coz his response and later attitude is dampening my excited in it all.

He kind of mean spiritedly said they probably only accepted you coz of your clean criminal record??? I had to submit my husbands info as well... But I doubt I was the only applicant with a clean record. It involves potentially working with government institutions...

I am going to go for it, unless I find out its truly not for me...

But as something I wasn't really interested in, is it worth the drama with my husband. And honestly I don't think I would be torn up if I didn't do this, but also who knows what tomorrow brings... But he is usually supportive of my stuff coz it usually turns out to have been sound money wise....

But if another woman/man was in this position I'd call them a fool for passing up this opportunity for a spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend....

 

[Fat Fred Jones]

I feel like the priority here should be getting to the bottom of your husband's concerns. Could there be insecurity at play? Perhaps you'd be around more men than he's comfortable with; maybe you'd be away from home overnight at times; or maybe you'd be making more money than him? For some odd reason, certain guys have an issue with that.

I can't speak to this new opportunity, but I take your word that it seems promising and likely worth it the long run.

 

[Monsanto]

I'm not trying to diagnose you here but you don't sound excited about it either. At first I thought he was leaning into your disinterest but the second offer indicated you were indeed interested.

Reminds me of the line by Dr. Amos Wilson, men don't want their women educated and will often leave them when they turn the corner.

In any case, he has something to address.

 

[MajesticLion]

 

[Yo Mama]

I'm not trying to diagnose you here but you don't sound excited about it either. At first I thought he was leaning into your disinterest but the second offer indicated you were indeed interested.

Reminds me of the line by Dr. Amos Wilson, men don't want their women educated and will often leave them when they turn the corner.

In any case, he has something to address.

Yeah. i wasn't that excited about it initially coz I honestly didn't think I had any hope of getting it. Till he brought it up I had never even thought about it. I don't know why he pushed if he really didn't want me to, maybe just to score "supportive husband points" without any actual sacrifice.

Even now I could walk away from this and I wont be heart broken, I wont be making much money i from it initially so its as good as an internship really, but its what/who it gives me access to that I am interested in...

Also I feel it would be extremely foolish to give this up for my husband...


I don't know if it will end with him leaving me, thats a risk he put me in a position to be willing to take...

 

[Yo Mama]

I feel like the priority here should be getting to the bottom of your husband's concerns. Could there be insecurity at play? Perhaps you'd be around more men than he's comfortable with; maybe you'd be away from home overnight at times; or maybe you'd be making more money than him? For some odd reason, certain guys have an issue with that.

I can't speak to this new opportunity, but I take your word that it seems promising and likely worth it the long run.

I doubt it will put me in a position to make more money than him, initially, but when we met I was comfortable and would continue to be with or without him, but it wouldn't be the same financially...

Also if Im being honest, hes the linchpin in our company, he could easily go it without me, I could do it but probably with less success.


The new opportunity is really promising, I interview badly, I used to go to a ton of random interviews...and I know I interview badly, I internally cringed when I realized I was rambling about my kids and thought its a wrap, but was surprised when they understood and were willing to accommodate me in their organisation, if they can be flexible about my kids/schedule then thats an organisation I am interested in.

 

[Monsanto]

Yeah. i wasn't that excited about it initially coz I honestly didn't think I had any hope of getting it. I don't know why he pushed if he really didn't want me to, maybe just to score "supportive husband points" without any actual sacrifice.

Even now I could walk away from this and I wont be heart broken, I wont be making much money i from it initially so its as good as an internship really, but its what/who it gives me access to that I am interested in...

Also I feel it would be extremely foolish to give this up for my husband...


I don't know if it will end with him leaving me, thats a risk he put me in a position to be willing to take...

Well, you already know what you're going to do.
Time to hash out the details and explain the opportunity of cost vs turning it down.

I don't believe it should come to that with two adults talking it out. Hope it works out well for you.

 

[DropTopDoc]

You need to talk with your husband and figure out what’s bothering everyone, and explain why you would want the job