@Willstyles
Yo, stay strong breh. Ain't nothing wrong with shedding some tears, because what you're going through is difficult. Just take the pain and use it to fuel your drive to make the world and your life better.
Sorry for your loss.
And also, try to end whatever beef you can...it beats having to wonder if it'll come back to haunt you eventually. If you can't end the beefs, then just pray for the other side, forgive and let go.