So, I'm at a public park a while back. I'm with my children who are enjoying the playground. Then, I started to get that bubbling feeling in my guts. Like diarrhea is developing. My gut instinct is telling me to start b-lining to the car and get to a bathroom. So I tell my kids we got to go. I have to use the bathroom. My kids are like, "Okay daddy". So they are taking their good old time, but I don't get mad. The walk to the minivan was like five minutes. But, I went from DEFCON 5 to DEFCON 3 real fast. I was like, stay in the car, I'm going to use the bathroom. I was parked right next to a port-a-john, which was convenient, in the park parking lot. I'm thinking, the seat is going to be dirty so I'm going to bring a paper towel roll in to create a seat cover.
Now, I have my kids safe in the minivan, I got my paper towel roll and I'm in the port-a-john. I take off my jacket but I can't find a place to put down my jacket. Things have escalated to DEFCON 2. It's a pretty big Port-a-john, so I throw my jacket on the floor in the farthest corner. There's no poop or pee, just dirt on the floor. IT IS NOW DEFCON 1!!!. I don't have time to make a toilet seat cover with my paper towels. I pull down my pants and sit just above the toilet seat. KABOOM! Just in time. It was almost like a never ending stream of diarrhea. There's no way I would have made it to the 7-Eleven bathroom.
My bowels were emptied and I felt much better after about a minute. I used the paper towel to clean myself. I felt good that I didn't get any on my pants. Then, I turned around. GROUND ZERO. I had moved a bit so that some of the diarrhea had sprayed directly on the toilet seat area. Maybe a cup full. Being the nice guy that I am, I used the paper towel to clean up what I could, although some of the liquidy stuff went down into gaps.
Now, I have my kids safe in the minivan, I got my paper towel roll and I'm in the port-a-john. I take off my jacket but I can't find a place to put down my jacket. Things have escalated to DEFCON 2. It's a pretty big Port-a-john, so I throw my jacket on the floor in the farthest corner. There's no poop or pee, just dirt on the floor. IT IS NOW DEFCON 1!!!. I don't have time to make a toilet seat cover with my paper towels. I pull down my pants and sit just above the toilet seat. KABOOM! Just in time. It was almost like a never ending stream of diarrhea. There's no way I would have made it to the 7-Eleven bathroom.
My bowels were emptied and I felt much better after about a minute. I used the paper towel to clean myself. I felt good that I didn't get any on my pants. Then, I turned around. GROUND ZERO. I had moved a bit so that some of the diarrhea had sprayed directly on the toilet seat area. Maybe a cup full. Being the nice guy that I am, I used the paper towel to clean up what I could, although some of the liquidy stuff went down into gaps.
