Tender match with the niece of a Mexican Cartel boss..

[benjamin]

What would you do if you lived in Mexico city and you matched with a 20 piece bad ting on tender, she asks for your number and if you wanted to go on a date that weekend. You pull up at her crib at 9pm the next night wit dat drank..yall smash. You get up and start walking around her crib at 1:30am while she sleep and you see on her living room wall a large picture of her being hugged by a man that looks like the new head of the sinoloa cartel. You go back into the bedroom and wake her up

You: (tapping her on her shoulder)
her: (she rolls over and sits up in the bed) whats wrong bae?

You: Who is that you huggin in that picture in the living room? That brehhitto looks familiar

Her: thats just my uncle Gildardo Lopez Astudillo (head of unidos cartel), why are you acting like that?

You: hell u mean..YO PEOPLE IS DA CARTEL, WHY WOULDNT YOU TELL ME THAT?

Her: (Gets out of bed and stands up) are you breaking up with me?

You: aye shorty hol up...when we start dating..

Her: you want it one way...so you can break my back but you cant handle yo responsiblities?

You: shorty u trippin, im out!

Her: Leave and im telling my father and all my sicario cousins that you raped me. Choice is yours I want a black baby and your gonna give it to me or you know what happens

What do you do next?

 

[The G.O.D II]

Welp

 

[2 one 3]

When I was in Portland, I met a chick, whose dad did runs for the cartel…


Was mos def a hit and run…


Met her at a hotel about 45 minutes from my crib…

 

[benjamin]

Welp

might as well call her daddy ...Be afraid of the cartel aint you a man? you gone let another man punk you out your seed?

 

[benjamin]

When I was in Portland, I met a chick, whose dad did runs for the cartel…


Was mos def a hit and run…


Met her at a hotel about 45 minutes from my crib…

if you knowingly smashed a cartel daughter, you a fool breh...

 

[Toe Jay Simpson]

Mexican coochie is AMAZING breh. Enjoy that like your life depends on it.

 

[ItsPeople]

“try the cartel’s patience breh” a coli poster

 

[benjamin]

Mexican coochie is AMAZING breh. Enjoy that like your life depends on it.

lust over refrigerator built bodied women, breh.

 

[rabbid]

dayum... well call me the headless horseman cause I'm getting far away from that heaux idgaf if they got the acid laced hunting ax with my name on it. you give her a son and he gonna grow up to be the son of dracula. but it's like quicksand the only way out is to accept the struggle. I'ma go back to bed after slow stroking her and pretending like I nutted. Then 2-3 months in once she's noticed her belly aint where it supposed to be I'm gonna leave a post it note on the pillow

 

[Toe Jay Simpson]

lust over refrigerator built bodied women, breh.

That’s how ends. Not how it starts breh

 

[Richard Glidewell]

Matching in certain places is like making a formal request to be robbed or worse

 

[benjamin]

dayum... well call me the headless horseman cause I'm getting far away from that heaux idgaf if they got the acid laced hunting ax with my name on it. you give her a son and he gonna grow up to be the son of dracula. but it's like quicksand the only way out is to accept the struggle. I'ma go back to bed after slow stroking her and pretending like I nutted. Then 2-3 months in once she's noticed her belly aint where it supposed to be I'm gonna leave a post it note on the pillow

breh gone leave a sticky note on her forehead and dip.

 

[F*ckthemkids]

If she looked like Barbara Ramirez, I might be screwed.

Sorry mama

But I'd gladly

For her

 

[CP3.]

Y'all got too much imagination and too much spare time

 

[The Intergalactic Koala]

Mexican coochie is AMAZING breh. Enjoy that like your life depends on it.

Breh I didn't hit Mexican, but Rican was a whole different ball game . Like how you have a box with such a nappy duggout, but dryer than Koalabama paved roads . I ran out of lube just to get the mate in. It was sad and quite frankly, a mesh of disappointment. As that coochie looked marvelous but broken