The Coli's Greatest Hits: Post some of the best quotes you've ever read on here

[MAKAVELI25]

http://www.thecoli.com/threads/admit-simp-crimes-youve-committed.399/page-13

But yeah, honestly I'm not going to lie. When I was younger I was a hopeless romantic (simp) I use to write poems to girls I liked in middle school ( ACTUAL POEMS bruhs, not know "roses are red" shhit) and all of that. My father both schooled me on the game as well as let me experience for myself what it was like. He always tells me now that he use to HATE to think of the day I'd get my heart broken and become cynical towards women because I was always such a caring boy. But he explained to me then and now, that women aren't really looking for "feelings" as opposed to "security". Women want a man who is sure of themselves, confident, and willing to live without them. Women NEED to know that they are expendable in any given relationship. If your woman is your everything and she KNOWS this from the jump, then she has the advantage. Which means she has license to do any and everything she wants, including disrespect you, talk down to you, fukk over you,etc.

"A woman looks at a man the way a man looks at money" My Father always taught me. "A man will spend his entire life chasing dollars because Dollars equal a better life, a better car, a better house. But when they get enough of it then it becomes disposable, they lose respect for it, for what it took to accumulate it." This is why you see Floyd Mayweather burning $100 dollar bills at the club. Why you see T-Pain rocking a chain that says nothing but "BIG ASS CHAIN" in diamonds. Why you see Jay-Z and Kanye West tearing up $200,000 plus luxury cars in videos. What it took to gain that wealth has been trivialized, it's in abundance and therefore it has become disposable.

Women are the same way. A woman will spend half her time searching for the "right man" a man who respects her, loves her, listens to her, is attentive, romantic, etc. A man who truly loves her and supports her equal a better life, better house, a better car. But when that man is truly and unconditionally open to her and they get enough of it, then he becomes disposable, she loses respect for him, for what it took emotionally to forge that connection and openness. The "mystery" of him is no more. This is why you see women who constantly chase after "thug *****s". This is why you hear about wives fukking thier husbands friends, associates, coworkers. This is why you have music videos with Rhianna glorifying unstable relationships full of arguing, drug use, and insecurity. Talking about falling in love in a "hopeless place", because in that "hopeless place" is the thrill of the unknown. What it takes to have a man who can provide security, comfort, open displays of affection, and love has been trivialized, it is in abundance and therefore has become disposable.


Even as a married man I still, and forever will, see my wife as a woman first. I'm as open with her as I've been with any woman however, she knows that she is NOT irreplaceable. I will dump her just as quickly as I would have before we were married and have made this quite clear. Before we were married I broe up with her before and just cold turkey stopped talking to her. She knows that as a man I've been taught and raised that I need NO woman to define my life or make me fulfilled. If she disrespects me its a wrap. If we're having a conversation or argument and she begins to speak to me in a manner unbecoming of my status as a MAN, I calmly ask her " Who the Fukk do you think your talking too?" Not like I'm Ike Turner, but like a MAN who will not be talked down too. As a RULE I make it a principle to not talk down to my wife, I treat her as an adult and a grown woman, and she WILL do the same at all times. I've told her, as well as any other woman I've dated that this is NOT a request, it is a DEMAND. My father taught me that when it comes to women never EXPECT respect. DEMAND it. I give it to her and she will give it to me.
A lot of men let puccyy dictate how they treat women, they'll put up with certain things in order to make sure they are still smashing that Ass at the end of the night. I get this, but as my father taught me, " She wants it just as much as you do." this is key. If I need to allow a woman to run roughshod over me just to get some sex then something is WRONG in this equation. If I stand my ground on an issue and it equals no sex, then that woman is probably giving up the goods on the side anyways.


I'd love to go back to the fairy tale of my youth, where girls were exotic, heavenly creatures to be admired and romanced. Where beng inspired to write a poem about a female was a thrilling gesture.Where I could dream about getting a girl to love me based upon the virtue of my character. Sadly, that world does NOT exist, and honestly it never did. The "Game" is the same as its been since the beginning of time. My father, when I was a kid, use to always watch cartoons and animated movies with us. One time we were watching Bambi, and he pointed to a scene in which grown up Bambi sees the female doe and falls in love. He's dancing around the forest all "twitterpated" and in awe of this beautiful creature. Suddenly another male aggressively shows up and begins to make off with the female. Bambi, at first confused, tries to lead off with the female, but the aggressive male buck comes between them. The female doe begins to walk off with the aggressive male buck until Bambi, coming to understanding with the way the world and nature truly is, becomes enraged and engages the Male Buck in combat. It is a thrillingly violent sequence (for a childrens movie) that ends with Bambi triumphantly subduing his adversary, his prize the right to mate and have children with the female doe. My father would watch this sequence, tell me to pay attention "Because this is a lesson I'd learn later in life" and say "that's it!" at the end of the sequence.

The point is that the female doe didn't give two flying fukks how much Bambi was in "love" with her. How much he was frolicking at the sight of her. She was perfectly happy to go mate with the aggressive male buck until Bambi wised up and fought for his right to mate. His right to sire children. His right to call himself a Buck. It was the AGRESSIVENESS that got Bambi the woman, his unwillingness to be disrespected, his DEMAND for proper loyalty. NOT his emotions.


THIS is the way of relationships. A man must never allow his emotions for a woman to be the end all and be all of the relationship. For if it is, he will NOT have his woman for long, she'll be off smashing the next male Buck.

 

[Nefrodamus]

UgoOgugwa's sounds on SoundCloud - Hear the world’s sounds

So this is round one but I have extended
Clip, I'm holding 20 rounds neega fukk
The friendly shyt, I flew to Ancient Egypt
Balling on extended trip, I studied Kemetism
Now yo mom respects my dikk ...
Ugo the mystic, it's so stupid to diss him
Who are you dissin? You are the victim
My tool get to spittin', from Kemet to
Rocky to Rocky to Kemet, I'm cocking
The F'N, Ugo's a gangsta with issues with
Anger, and thousands of weapons ....
So why agree to battle meeee? A "formal"
Funeral, just because a "casual" t, I walked
Off casually palmin on yo moda's nyash...
Plus I fukked yo moda on worldstar so
You know I smashed, shout out to Q
I'm rocking loboutins over on fountain
Bleau, too much of a g to ever amount
To you, too much of a, to fuk with a
Beech, who scared to take a trip with
A butt full of bricks, while you stuffin
Your muffler pumping your bum bum
With dikks
Fuk did you say ho? Killas on my payroll
Call de grim reaper, anytime I say so ...
You reap wat you so bae, I eat you wit
Obay, pee in de hallway den skeet on
Yo mom face. my dikk long, my click
Strong, I pimp slap and stiff arm ...
You suck dikk, you gossip, you cross
Your legs and knit yarn, you're Kemet
You're Rocky, your penmanship sloppy
Get this bytch off me, get this bytch off me
Get off me bytch, dis de rocky diss
Slide on cacs like a hockey disc
Son dis neega like a Maury Clip
Lose to African like Mitt Romney bytch
You a snitch, you talk to the feds
Ya momma gives me good head
When this track complete you are dead
Battle Ugo Ogugwa brehs

 

[TooLazyToMakeUp1]

Check @Homeboy Runny-Ray in my sig about Rickey

"Ugo's a gangsta with issues with Anger, and thousands of weapons"

 

[MAKAVELI25]

Lol, does that dude still post?

 

[Nefrodamus]

Lol, does that dude still post?

Breh, this was recent. In the audio battle rap thread

 

[The Burger King]

I don't know who said it, but someone said, "I'll only suck my homies dikk if it's recently been inside of a p*ssy."

 

[Mr Rager]

Give a woman the world and she'll leave you for a man with the moon

 

[Mr Rager]

No education
No haircut
No designer clothes
No women
No p*ssy
No car
No home
No house
No job

 

[Renkz]

I caught my homie givin the barber a handjob one night close to closing time. They were in the back and thought no one else was in there, but I was in a chair in a dark corner. I sneezed and the barber pulled the burner and asked who was it.

 

[Ricky Church]

oh.my.fukkin.gawd!

 

[Renkz]

This is one of JBO's greatest stories, enjoy

I swear i was shytting for 37 minutes straight and i couldn't flush afterwards. The shyt to water ratio was simply to high... so i proceeded to bucket the extra amounts of sludge into plastic bags and chucked them shyts out the window into the alley as a present to the superintendent of my building (we have an ongoing beef motha fukka doesnt fix shyt ) .... I decided after 3 bags that i would attempt to flush so i grab the plunger and get ready to dive into the shyt abyss ... At this point my girl comes into the crib and see's me butt ass naked with shyt all over the bathtub and walks right back out.... The toilet won't flush It's been hours and I'm stuck here with shyt everywhere.. The smell has reached the lobby of my building what do i do brehs?............what do i do?

alright brehs...its been a hot min since this happened but ill update yall with what happened


basically like 2 days after having the shyt just marinating in the tub i decided to buy some drain-o and let it sit with the shyt so it can loosen up and go down the tub...

did not work. please brehs if any of yall ever find yourself in this situation please do not try this. the drain-o ended up hardening the shyt for some reason and staining the tub along with the toilet. i know found myself at odds with whats looked like a giant shyt brownie.

by this time i was getting desperate as fukk because the neighbors started calling the city thinking there was a dead body in the building. i said fukk it and took a hammer and taped it to a broomstick and started hammering away at the ceiling of the bathroom til that bytch caved in. the massive amount of dirt and plaster fell all over the bathroom and i walked outside and told the super i had a small leak n it seemed to be shyt. he asked if i knew about the bags of shyt thrown into the alley and i told him it must have been some crackheads . he didnt want to come in to check the leak out so i did what any sensible human being would do. i walked into the bathroom stripped butt ass nekid turned on the shower layed in the rubble/shyt and started screaming like a woman giving birth

my neighbors called 911 and i got rescued. the cops asked what happened i tod them i had a leak and the super didnt want to fix it .

i sued the landlord n im still awaiting a decision on the case. the super got fired, arrested and deported to DR n my girl never returned she visited me in the hospital but kept looking at me like i murdered someone

they asked about the hardened shyt i told them i was scared for my life and some of it came from the cieling/leak.

 

[Capo Dei Capi]

This is one of JBO's greatest story, enjoy

This can't be life

 

[Lucy]

This is one of JBO's greatest story, enjoy

The shyt that happens when shyt is involved!

But really, dude should have been flushing continuously, not let it build up. Though one time I had to get my bowels to move and it wasn't even much but the damn water decided to overflow and it was shyt water all on the bathroom floor and dining room floor. Thank God no carpet. Clean that shyt though. God bless Clorox and my neighbor's mop, which I bleached afterwards as well. Can't cross contaminate. I don't wanna make anybody sick, ya know? I don't wand your shyt and you don't want mine.

Have you see a toilet where the sewer lines decided to back up on their own. Good gracious, shyt all up and over. Disgusting. White boys being doing that double decker shyt. I would clock a nikka for doing that. Making the water that runs back in nothing but shyt and having it take forever to clear up and use up a whole bunch of Clorox in the process. shyt, get a new toilet.

Man, bowel movements are great and vital to your health, I don't understand chicks that just shyt once a wekk. But cot damn, I hate shyt. Why does it have to smell? Why does it have to be brown? Why can't it be just disappear on it's own? Like a mystical unicorn? You know it's there, but you can't find proof.

I don't know how plumbers do it. God bless em'.

 

[Mandarin Duck]

When he hit that Migos flow

 

[SumBlackguyz]

Refer to my sig @AquaCityBoy