Doobie Doo
Veteran
THE FIVE STAGES OF SIMPING: A SIMP CHRONICLES EXTRA
HO3BUSTERS·THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 8, 2016
“We’ve decided to take a break with the simp chronicles. Four parts have been written, & 2 parts are in pre-production. However, there is always room for more information”.
Like every video game, parts of your life, and even diseases, there are stages. Some stages are minor and other stages are severe. Simping has 5 stages:
Stage 1: This is the earliest stage of simping. Also the easiest stage to cure. Simptoms include trying to prove that all men aren’t the same, paying for dates, shaming your brothers etc. This stage can be curing during simp intervention.
Stage 2 -3: This is also known as “chronic bytch dependency.” . An affliction making one dependent upon a woman who he is dating or married to. Simptoms include: Inability to stand up for yourself, giving into all of her bytching, crawling back to her after every argument, taking blame/apologizing even when you’re not at fault. If they separate, he becomes an emotional train wreck and does nothing but lay around & mope. This stage is similar to a drug addict going through withdrawal simptoms. This stage can be cured with intervention & time. Can be severe for the mentally weak.
Stage 4: This is a tricky stage of simping. This can be cured if the simp’s wake up call is severe enough. Simptoms include alienation of friends, family, colleagues, & not listening to intervention,spending all of your time, money, & energy etc. A lot of dudes are stuck in this stage. We’re not gonna lie, it’s hard to pull a homey out of this stage.
Stage 5: This is the deadliest form of simping. And we mean this literally and figuratively. Also known as the killer/psycho simp. These are the simps who minds are so far gone, that they’ll kill their wife/girlfriend who doesn’t want to be with them anymore. At times, they’ll even kill themselves as well as their ex’s new man. Stage 5 is the POINT OF NO RETURN. These simps are very comfortable in their roles. DON’T TRY TO HELP THEM.
Closing words
We hope everyone enjoyed this break in the simp chronicles. And we hope everyone was paying attention. Make sure you read the simp chronicles! The final chapter begins on 10.3.16 & ends on 10.31.16. Take care!
HO3BUSTERS·THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 8, 2016
“We’ve decided to take a break with the simp chronicles. Four parts have been written, & 2 parts are in pre-production. However, there is always room for more information”.
Like every video game, parts of your life, and even diseases, there are stages. Some stages are minor and other stages are severe. Simping has 5 stages:
Stage 1: This is the earliest stage of simping. Also the easiest stage to cure. Simptoms include trying to prove that all men aren’t the same, paying for dates, shaming your brothers etc. This stage can be curing during simp intervention.
Stage 2 -3: This is also known as “chronic bytch dependency.” . An affliction making one dependent upon a woman who he is dating or married to. Simptoms include: Inability to stand up for yourself, giving into all of her bytching, crawling back to her after every argument, taking blame/apologizing even when you’re not at fault. If they separate, he becomes an emotional train wreck and does nothing but lay around & mope. This stage is similar to a drug addict going through withdrawal simptoms. This stage can be cured with intervention & time. Can be severe for the mentally weak.
Stage 4: This is a tricky stage of simping. This can be cured if the simp’s wake up call is severe enough. Simptoms include alienation of friends, family, colleagues, & not listening to intervention,spending all of your time, money, & energy etc. A lot of dudes are stuck in this stage. We’re not gonna lie, it’s hard to pull a homey out of this stage.
Stage 5: This is the deadliest form of simping. And we mean this literally and figuratively. Also known as the killer/psycho simp. These are the simps who minds are so far gone, that they’ll kill their wife/girlfriend who doesn’t want to be with them anymore. At times, they’ll even kill themselves as well as their ex’s new man. Stage 5 is the POINT OF NO RETURN. These simps are very comfortable in their roles. DON’T TRY TO HELP THEM.
Closing words
We hope everyone enjoyed this break in the simp chronicles. And we hope everyone was paying attention. Make sure you read the simp chronicles! The final chapter begins on 10.3.16 & ends on 10.31.16. Take care!
