Uh, I don't want to get too tangential and weird during WORLD CUP time. But what you guys think.
I was (I quit today) working at this internship that was politically related. But with my full time job I was only able to get there basically one day a week and whenever they needed me on the weekends. Though the internship was straight bytch work and boring and it looked good on a resume, I was not motivated by it at all and thought it was a waste of time. And perhaps this was stupid. Perhaps I should have just done the work.
But this is what I've been grappling with lately. And I want to know if I'm wrong on this. But I just feel at this time in my life if I'm wasting my time on something that doesn't fully stimulate me or get me energized and motivated and it's something that I can be completely indifferent towards in terms of the outcome and results of it, I feel like fukk that, I don't want to waste time on that. But the flipside of that are the realities of needing experience, which if I'm gonna be honest, is one aspect of our rat race resume builder society that we live in that I genuinely hate. It's tough for me to look down the bridge of my nose at anyone, but I've been meeting a lot of go-getters lately. Those oiled up, preening, perfectly manicured careerists who work to attain that gleaming resume. I've grown to sort of despise them, because I've often found that they don't really have any aspirations beyond that. Beyond what? Money? A title? Doesn't make you a respectable person.
Especially in the political world. It's alarming. Based on my own experiences I've found that sections of our political apparatus is peopled entirely by individuals who are looking out for numero uno and have this almost upsetting lukewarm attitude about politics being not about helping people and changing the world but seeking stasis and compromise and of course furthering your career. Perhaps that's grotesquely romantic of me, but it almost makes you wonder what it's all for.
And because of that I've been mad jaded lately. I'm about to call close on trying to do something and being involved. Go do some writing, maybe try to get into something like advertising, I dunno something else. Try to make some money and live life I guess with a job.
I remember I was talking to my friend's girlfriend who works at an ad agency in New York. She was talking about how she loves her job, the culture, blah blah blah but her tone turned plaintive and she went on about how at the end of the day it's not too fulfilling of a job, she's helping make ads for $5 Little Caeser's pizzas. And I'm not saying that in order to have a fulfilling job it must be in politics or whatever, a lot of good can be found in all sorts of fields, but, I didn't really have the heart to let her know that the other side may not be so green :avbehh:
I'm the same way.
I reevaluate my life every morning and evening on the train when I look around and just see unfulfilled lives. That sounds harsh but I don't see how this is life. I had this conversation this week. There is no way this is what life is suppose to be. I see other folks who go all in with work and I'm just like what's the point
my heart isn't in this. Even when you doing meaningful work, it becomes meaningless. I did not-profit work and work for Ciroc, after a while you start to feel the same way. The politics, culture, and your emotions eventually put the work in the same category. Unless, you're extremely driven by it, then it becomes an obsession and your ultimate being.
Only way I'm different is, the bytch work, networking, and resume building I don't have a problem with. I just see it as a way to get out the rat race. My entire reason for going to work is just to get the fukk outta there and moving to South America or back to the islands. If it's just a job, your heart won't be in it, every move just has to be part of way of achieving your goals.
