"We need to talk" = I need to complain about you
"Have fun at the party" = do not have fun at the party
"You don’t need to buy me a present" = you need to buy me a very expensive gift
"Yes" = no
"No" = yes
"I’m very adventurous" = I’ve slept with every guy who gives me even a hint of attention
“are you hungry?” = take me to dinner
“we’re going to be late” = yes it took me five hours to get ready but it’s all your fault so drive faster who cares it’s your insurance not mine
“you seem like a player” = I find you interesting
“you’re such a jerk” = I am attracted to you
“so why did you break up with your ex girlfriend” = what’s wrong with you
“it’s getting kinda late” = I’m not going to have sex with you
“so are we together” = I want you to stop f*cking other women
“do you like me” = I like you
“we have different values” = I found somebody else to fvck
“I am tired of drama and BS” = I am very attracted to a**holes
“I like your friends, but..” = I don’t like your friends
“I want a man to spoil me” = im already having sex with one guy, but now i need an AFC to spend money on me
“I’ve been really busy” = I don’t like you
“Who’s that girl you were talking to” = are you having sex with that girl
"I want to be friends first" = guys just pump and dump me so now im gonna take my insecurities out on you and make you wait
"Im not ready for a relationship right now" = im not ready for a relationship with you, ever
"I just don’t want a boyfriend right now" = I don’t want you as a boyfriend, ever
"That’s okay" = I want to think long and hard about how I’m going to make you suffer
"I’ll be ready in 5 minutes" = I’ll be ready in 2 hours
"You don’t know how to communicate" = you need to do what I tell you
"We can always still be friends" = there is no way in hell I’m going to let any part of your body ever touch any part of mine, ever again
"I like you but.." = I don’t like you
"There’s no one else I swear" = I’m banging two of your best friends
"I love sex" = I love sex with other people, but not with you
"I can’t believe I did that" = i do that all the time with other guys
"I’ve never done that before!" = I do that all the time with other guys but will only do it with you once in a while so you think you’re special
"We’re moving too fast" = I’m not ready to sleep with you again until I find out if the bad boy I got the hots for is out of prison yet
"Do I look fat" = everything is going perfect so we need to fight
"I cant believe i just sent you that picture!" = I do this all the time
"Whatever" = f*ck off
"Can you help me with <insert almost anything here>" = if I keep whining and making him think he will f*ck me the idiot will do what I say
"Where are you?" = why aren’t you here doing things for me
"I'm not sure what I want" = I don't want you
"You're such a great guy!" = You're a chump
"I have a headache" = I won't be having sex with you tonight
"I'm tired, I think I'm just going to stay in tonight" = I'm going to fvck someone else tonight
"I hate my ex" = I'm still in love with my ex but he won't take me back
"I'm so happy for you!" = I am jealous and not happy for you at all
"I don't care, let's go wherever" = you better know where I want to be taken
"It's nothing" = this is a big deal
"I think I'll just stay in and take it easy" = you did something minor to make my gina dry up and I'm considering never talking to you again
"yeah, I'm all for starting out dating non-monogamously" = if I even suspect you have a lunch date with someone else you are a player and a loser
"I'm not ready to have sex yet" = You've still got 453 hoops to jump through cowboy
"I was really an idiot to marry my ex" = I blame others for my own choices in life, and I was desperate and approaching the wall, besides, all my other girlfriends were getting married and I was afraid to be the last one
"Men are all the same" = I refuse to change my ways because nothing is ever my fault
"Your friends are awesome!" = once I get you to commit I'll alienate every one of them from you and slowly isolate you and your wallet
"I like to take it slow at first" = I'm still judging you and testing you
"Let's do something next week" = unless I get a better offer
"I can't stand my ex" = I think about doing him every night
"I promise, I'm not a cat lady" = I am so totally a cat lady
"Look at that skank" = I'm jealous of all the male attention she gets
"I'm not in a position to do this properly and it wouldn't be fair for you unless i could give it a proper shot" = i don't like you anymore and i've already started looking for a new guy to f*ck
"eww, i dont even like sex, d!cks are ugly" = I'm a total slut and feel like a piece of garbage for getting f*cked by so many worthless losers over the years
"i don't suck d*ck" = i don't suck YOUR d*ck
"I just think we need some space" = Im thinking of sucking and fukking this other guy or multiple guys but im not sure yet, i will let you know at your lowest point, for now ill keep you in suspense
“call me on Thursday to confirm” = you’re my backup plan. I have almost no intention of actually going out with you
“I really like you as a friend” = I’m not going to sleep with you or date you, but you can take me out and buy me dinner if I don’t have anything better going on
“do you mind if I leave some of my things at your place” = I want other women to know you’re seeing someone
“sorry I didn’t get back to you sooner, I was so busy with work/feeling sick” = take a hint, I could not possibly care any less about you
“sorry I turned my phone off/battery died” = I was busy with some other guy
“sorry I can’t make it this Friday after all” = I found something better to do
“I don’t get along with girls because they’re jealous of me” = I don’t get along with girls because I’m a stuck up b*tch
“It’s not really going to be a couples thing, so maybe we’ll meet up after?” = I don’t want my friends to think I’m dating you seriously
“it’s just girls night out” = I’m looking for the bigger better deal (BBD)
“I don’t care about money you know I’m not like that” = yeah sure that’s why you brought it up
"Have fun at the party" = do not have fun at the party
"You don’t need to buy me a present" = you need to buy me a very expensive gift
"Yes" = no
"No" = yes
"I’m very adventurous" = I’ve slept with every guy who gives me even a hint of attention
“are you hungry?” = take me to dinner
“we’re going to be late” = yes it took me five hours to get ready but it’s all your fault so drive faster who cares it’s your insurance not mine
“you seem like a player” = I find you interesting
“you’re such a jerk” = I am attracted to you
“so why did you break up with your ex girlfriend” = what’s wrong with you
“it’s getting kinda late” = I’m not going to have sex with you
“so are we together” = I want you to stop f*cking other women
“do you like me” = I like you
“we have different values” = I found somebody else to fvck
“I am tired of drama and BS” = I am very attracted to a**holes
“I like your friends, but..” = I don’t like your friends
“I want a man to spoil me” = im already having sex with one guy, but now i need an AFC to spend money on me
“I’ve been really busy” = I don’t like you
“Who’s that girl you were talking to” = are you having sex with that girl
"I want to be friends first" = guys just pump and dump me so now im gonna take my insecurities out on you and make you wait
"Im not ready for a relationship right now" = im not ready for a relationship with you, ever
"I just don’t want a boyfriend right now" = I don’t want you as a boyfriend, ever
"That’s okay" = I want to think long and hard about how I’m going to make you suffer
"I’ll be ready in 5 minutes" = I’ll be ready in 2 hours
"You don’t know how to communicate" = you need to do what I tell you
"We can always still be friends" = there is no way in hell I’m going to let any part of your body ever touch any part of mine, ever again
"I like you but.." = I don’t like you
"There’s no one else I swear" = I’m banging two of your best friends
"I love sex" = I love sex with other people, but not with you
"I can’t believe I did that" = i do that all the time with other guys
"I’ve never done that before!" = I do that all the time with other guys but will only do it with you once in a while so you think you’re special
"We’re moving too fast" = I’m not ready to sleep with you again until I find out if the bad boy I got the hots for is out of prison yet
"Do I look fat" = everything is going perfect so we need to fight
"I cant believe i just sent you that picture!" = I do this all the time
"Whatever" = f*ck off
"Can you help me with <insert almost anything here>" = if I keep whining and making him think he will f*ck me the idiot will do what I say
"Where are you?" = why aren’t you here doing things for me
"I'm not sure what I want" = I don't want you
"You're such a great guy!" = You're a chump
"I have a headache" = I won't be having sex with you tonight
"I'm tired, I think I'm just going to stay in tonight" = I'm going to fvck someone else tonight
"I hate my ex" = I'm still in love with my ex but he won't take me back
"I'm so happy for you!" = I am jealous and not happy for you at all
"I don't care, let's go wherever" = you better know where I want to be taken
"It's nothing" = this is a big deal
"I think I'll just stay in and take it easy" = you did something minor to make my gina dry up and I'm considering never talking to you again
"yeah, I'm all for starting out dating non-monogamously" = if I even suspect you have a lunch date with someone else you are a player and a loser
"I'm not ready to have sex yet" = You've still got 453 hoops to jump through cowboy
"I was really an idiot to marry my ex" = I blame others for my own choices in life, and I was desperate and approaching the wall, besides, all my other girlfriends were getting married and I was afraid to be the last one
"Men are all the same" = I refuse to change my ways because nothing is ever my fault
"Your friends are awesome!" = once I get you to commit I'll alienate every one of them from you and slowly isolate you and your wallet
"I like to take it slow at first" = I'm still judging you and testing you
"Let's do something next week" = unless I get a better offer
"I can't stand my ex" = I think about doing him every night
"I promise, I'm not a cat lady" = I am so totally a cat lady
"Look at that skank" = I'm jealous of all the male attention she gets
"I'm not in a position to do this properly and it wouldn't be fair for you unless i could give it a proper shot" = i don't like you anymore and i've already started looking for a new guy to f*ck
"eww, i dont even like sex, d!cks are ugly" = I'm a total slut and feel like a piece of garbage for getting f*cked by so many worthless losers over the years
"i don't suck d*ck" = i don't suck YOUR d*ck
"I just think we need some space" = Im thinking of sucking and fukking this other guy or multiple guys but im not sure yet, i will let you know at your lowest point, for now ill keep you in suspense
“call me on Thursday to confirm” = you’re my backup plan. I have almost no intention of actually going out with you
“I really like you as a friend” = I’m not going to sleep with you or date you, but you can take me out and buy me dinner if I don’t have anything better going on
“do you mind if I leave some of my things at your place” = I want other women to know you’re seeing someone
“sorry I didn’t get back to you sooner, I was so busy with work/feeling sick” = take a hint, I could not possibly care any less about you
“sorry I turned my phone off/battery died” = I was busy with some other guy
“sorry I can’t make it this Friday after all” = I found something better to do
“I don’t get along with girls because they’re jealous of me” = I don’t get along with girls because I’m a stuck up b*tch
“It’s not really going to be a couples thing, so maybe we’ll meet up after?” = I don’t want my friends to think I’m dating you seriously
“it’s just girls night out” = I’m looking for the bigger better deal (BBD)
“I don’t care about money you know I’m not like that” = yeah sure that’s why you brought it up
I was thinking the same this isn't his posting style
