Firstly, this applies to both black women and black men, and the only reason I am talking to black women by default is because I am a black man. With that out of the way....
I oftentimes hear from black women that they are surprised I’m interested in them because they assumed I only liked white girls. Despite it being laughably inaccurate, I don’t take offense to this, but it does concern me because I see the cultural dangers that these beliefs promote. So hear me out for a second.
Black women, when you assume that the only way a black man will find you to be God’s most beautiful creation is when he fits the mold of a brainwashed street corner hustler with an affinity for sagging his pants and listening to Chief Keith or a Kufi-wearing, dashiki sporting extreme black militant from the heartland of Africa who doesn’t even wash his hands with soap if it’s white, you are devaluing yourself. It screams “Black men will only cherish and see value in me is in the most extremes of scenarios.”
It also devalues black men who don’t fit that mold. You are essentially saying that a black man must surely put other women above his own if he dresses like THIS, talks like THAT, or has an IQ level up to HERE. You’re saying that we aren’t real black men. You’re saying we aren’t real negroes. You’re creating a skintight exoskeleton for what being black means, and if any of us step outside of that outfit, “Uncle Tom” alarms sound off in your head.
This needs to stop. Black people are not a monolith. We are not a hive mind. We don’t think the same, we don’t act the same, we don’t look the same, we don’t believe the same things, talk the same, dress the same, or dance the same. To believe blackness is a “one size fits all” cage is to believe the outrageous stereotypes put on us through the media and years of systematic oppression. Don’t buy into the lie. It’s counterproductive to us progressing and learning to love, protect, and elevate one another. You very rarely will hear a white person tell another white "Oh wow, I have to admit, I didn't think you were into white people". Why? Because they assume by default that they love their own. We need to start assuming by default that we love our own.
Yes, the black anime-lover loves and cherishes you too. Yes, the black man who prefers drum n’ bass over gangster rap loves and cherishes you too. Yes, the black man who wears pants that fit properly loves and cherishes you too. Yes, the black man who was blessed enough not to be raised in extreme levels of poverty and hopelessness loves and cherishes you too. Yes, the black man who has never been to Africa loves and cherishes you too. And to the black men who are afraid to approach the black girl with the lip piercing and the purple hair because you just know in your heart she only likes white boys, stop being afraid and work on your self-esteem. She loves and cherishes black men, too. And men, you can easily remove black-male stereotypes and replace them with black-female stereotypes and see that this status speaks to you as well.
And for those of us who have been brainwashed into hating their own and actually DON’T like black men and women? That’s okay. Let’s lead by example, expand the definition of what being black means, and keep the faith that one day they will follow our lead.
I oftentimes hear from black women that they are surprised I’m interested in them because they assumed I only liked white girls. Despite it being laughably inaccurate, I don’t take offense to this, but it does concern me because I see the cultural dangers that these beliefs promote. So hear me out for a second.
Black women, when you assume that the only way a black man will find you to be God’s most beautiful creation is when he fits the mold of a brainwashed street corner hustler with an affinity for sagging his pants and listening to Chief Keith or a Kufi-wearing, dashiki sporting extreme black militant from the heartland of Africa who doesn’t even wash his hands with soap if it’s white, you are devaluing yourself. It screams “Black men will only cherish and see value in me is in the most extremes of scenarios.”
It also devalues black men who don’t fit that mold. You are essentially saying that a black man must surely put other women above his own if he dresses like THIS, talks like THAT, or has an IQ level up to HERE. You’re saying that we aren’t real black men. You’re saying we aren’t real negroes. You’re creating a skintight exoskeleton for what being black means, and if any of us step outside of that outfit, “Uncle Tom” alarms sound off in your head.
This needs to stop. Black people are not a monolith. We are not a hive mind. We don’t think the same, we don’t act the same, we don’t look the same, we don’t believe the same things, talk the same, dress the same, or dance the same. To believe blackness is a “one size fits all” cage is to believe the outrageous stereotypes put on us through the media and years of systematic oppression. Don’t buy into the lie. It’s counterproductive to us progressing and learning to love, protect, and elevate one another. You very rarely will hear a white person tell another white "Oh wow, I have to admit, I didn't think you were into white people". Why? Because they assume by default that they love their own. We need to start assuming by default that we love our own.
Yes, the black anime-lover loves and cherishes you too. Yes, the black man who prefers drum n’ bass over gangster rap loves and cherishes you too. Yes, the black man who wears pants that fit properly loves and cherishes you too. Yes, the black man who was blessed enough not to be raised in extreme levels of poverty and hopelessness loves and cherishes you too. Yes, the black man who has never been to Africa loves and cherishes you too. And to the black men who are afraid to approach the black girl with the lip piercing and the purple hair because you just know in your heart she only likes white boys, stop being afraid and work on your self-esteem. She loves and cherishes black men, too. And men, you can easily remove black-male stereotypes and replace them with black-female stereotypes and see that this status speaks to you as well.
And for those of us who have been brainwashed into hating their own and actually DON’T like black men and women? That’s okay. Let’s lead by example, expand the definition of what being black means, and keep the faith that one day they will follow our lead.
Still doesn't not because im blind to the way things are, but because i'm not gonna let myself be tethered by puppet strings of racism.
and or you was wack. Stop blaming your failure on all that other shyt.
.....then its back to squre one after it simmers down and back comes the white friends and life.....
