Do you ever feel like you're pathetic?
I do. But I keep that shyt only on the inside. I'm a regular speed walking, fast talking, moon howling kinda guy on the outside. I'm very aware of this sometimes internal patheticness (?) but I make sure it never spills onto the outside. We all live in contradictions. There are two of us all. One for the world and one for ourselves. We present ourselves to the world all attractive and gift wrapped but on the inside we're that naked guy crying on his cake, alone in the corner.
Take for example my newest sensation of pathetic thought. I've fallen down the rabbit hole of love, smashing into the clocks of lust and the spoons of envy. The love-e has a boyfriend. I carry this pathetic burden, it's my dark secret that I cradle in my arms like a mother does a newly still-born child. I try and look at what it can be but can only see what it's not.
Don't get me wrong. To prying eyes I'm still fukking awesome. The girl gave me lots of awesome blowjobs with sex as an occasional side dish... and then I jetted, not just out of the country, out of the continent. She was a 10. Hottest girl I've ever slept with. At the moment though, there's no pride just regret. This should be a massive win but all I can think about is the dead baby I'm holding in my hands. It will be a win but for now I'm just taking my insides out for a walk.
& love to 
for women i don't a chance at. 
