Tips on managing direct reports who are significantly older/more experienced than you?

[BelieveBeOK]

I'm a relatively young guy in the corporate space (Turning 30 next year) and considering applying for a new position that has opened up in my division.

The position, if I got it, would result in my now collegues (most of which are already junior to me in rank) having a direct reporting line to me.

Majority of people in my team are a lot older than me (I'm talking 15 to 20 years older) and I still believe some are resentful that I've managed to land my current role at my age.

My attitude towards that right now is, "fukk 'em and their feelings, I'm just getting mine like anybody else would"


I can afford to have that attitude because my performance isn't reliant on them.... however if I was to assume a management role over them, then I'm sure you could see how their attitudes may be become a problem for me as my performance would then obviously be directly linked to theirs and I predict that if I got the role, some of them may start looking for ways to undermine me or make the job more difficult than it needs to be.

Like I said, I'm only considering applying for the role but would like to know if anybody has some tips or advice to share?

 

[Yinny]

You can’t afford to have that attitude as their manager so maybe don’t apply.


But if you work on that, ask them their learning/coaching styles? Expect them to know themselves? And hold them accountable without talking or acting like you’re their parent.

If they have attitudes, you can keep it about the work. If in evaluations it’s still an issue then…highlight how it detracts from the quality of the work/client experience. Keep it fact and feedback-based.

But again if you think and are prepping for adversarial dynamics with your direct reports maybe apply for a promotion that doesn’t have you managing them/people.

Also do they ice you out, just not like you? Or did they start treating you differently because of your success in the workplace?

 

[Rawtid]

Eh, a lot of older workers don’t have the desire to manage other people. With that said they don’t want some kid bossing them around.

The best you thing you can do is be clear in your direction and what they need to do. Assign tasks accordingly and leave them alone unless it’s a problem.

 

[MoneyTron]

I wouldn't lead with a dictatorial stance in that situation. You'll lose respect instantly.
I think this:

The best you thing you can do is be clear in your direction and what they need to do. Assign tasks accordingly and leave them alone unless it’s a problem.

...is a good idea. Also, I think trying to ingratiate yourself by leaning on their experience when it comes to making certain(not all) decisions also helps them feel recognized.

No old head is ever turning down an offer to give advice. Just don't lean on them all the time or they start to think they're in command and you might look weak to your boss as well.

 

[BaggerofTea]

1. Treat them as functioning intelligent adults.
2. Delegate, give them responsibility and allow them to feel a semblance of ownership over their task or role
3. When critiquing, never harp on what they did wrong. Show them what they could/can do better
4. Provide positive affirmation when they do well.
5. DO NOT carry an attitude of haughtiness or "air of superiority"

Obligatory, be clear and concise in your ask/direction you want them to go in


If you do those 5 things, you will be liked as a manager on any team

 

[Orange cream shake]

I was 25 managing a team of 99% women and 90% of my team was over 50. I hated it. The only time liked them old ass hags was during the holidays because they suddenly wanted to treat me like their grand daughter. They were set in their ways, lazy and unwilling to adapt to change. I had one of them flat out call me lil girl and she got kids older than me. They damn near ruined my experience in management. Their previous manager who begged to be transferred because he hated them too just told me to be humble, respectful and have patience. Also old women are hella petty and messy. Older men are awesome to work over.

 

[BelieveBeOK]

Thanks for all the advice that has been shared. I'll definitely be taking it all onboard

As an update, my appointment was announced today and as anticipated, shyt went down like a lead baloon with some people


Meeting was on Teams so I couldn't see anyone's face but I noticed that certain people didn't give a congratulations or type anything in the chat function.

I'm gonna hhave my work cut out for me trying to find a solution that works for me and those individuals but I guess this is the challenge I accepted.

Just gotta keep reminding myself to not take the bait when these people inevitably try to get a rise out of me with "funny" or passive agressive comments

 

[Yinny]

Thanks for all the advice that has been shared. I'll definitely be taking it all onboard

As an update, my appointment was announced today and as anticipated, shyt went down like a lead baloon with some people


Meeting was on Teams so I couldn't see anyone's face but I noticed that certain people didn't give a congratulations or type anything in the chat function.

I'm gonna hhave my work cut out for me trying to find a solution that works for me and those individuals but I guess this is the challenge I accepted.

Just gotta keep reminding myself to not take the bait when these people inevitably try to get a rise out of me with "funny" or passive agressive comments

This will prove so valuable in life, and your career. Super huge congrats!

“Notice everything, take nothing personally” is an adage I try to live by- trust people will always reveal how they feel about you.

 

[BelieveBeOK]

This will prove so valuable in life, and your career. Super huge congrats!

“Notice everything, take nothing personally” is an adage I try to live by- trust people will always reveal how they feel about you.

Thank you and very much appreciated.

 

[BelieveBeOK]

Two months in and wow.....it's crazy how differently I see these people now. I feel like I'm managing children.

Going in I thought that I would be more passive in my style given how much experience they have but the level of hand-holding some of these people need is ridiculous .

Gotta give constant guidance to them in terms of what they should be doing/thinking because they're either too lazy to think or can't be trusted to run on their own. This takes up hours of my day sitting on phonecalls or in meetings.

I've got one guy who is a self-starter but dude has massive personality issues and is constantly throwing tantrums and getting into battles with internal stakeholders, which leaves me playing mediator and trying to smooth things over. I can't trust him either cause I know he trying to plot my downfall and probably waiting on one slip-up to pounce.

Looking at this has made me realise that I must be a dream to manage for my boss compared to some of these guys.

This is gonna be an interesting year.

I've literally had to set up a two hour (weekly recurring) diary blocker to give myself time to think and reflect on what I'm actually trying to achieve

 

[JetFueledThoughts]

Very good topic, will be reading the responses

 

[Ayo]

Two months in and wow.....it's crazy how differently I see these people now. I feel like I'm managing children.

Going in I thought that I would be more passive in my style given how much experience they have but the level of hand-holding some of these people need is ridiculous .

Gotta give constant guidance to them in terms of what they should be doing/thinking because they're either too lazy to think or can't be trusted to run on their own. This takes up hours of my day sitting on phonecalls or in meetings.

I've got one guy who is a self-starter but dude has massive personality issues and is constantly throwing tantrums and getting into battles with internal stakeholders, which leaves me playing mediator and trying to smooth things over. I can't trust him either cause I know he trying to plot my downfall and probably waiting on one slip-up to pounce.

Looking at this has made me realise that I must be a dream to manage for my boss compared to some of these guys.

This is gonna be an interesting year.

I've literally had to set up a two hour (weekly recurring) diary blocker to give myself time to think and reflect on what I'm actually trying to achieve

It's always funny reading this shyt and thinking....wait....do me and OP work at the same....nahhhhhhhh. It's just the same shyt at every place.

You're in a tough position. I've had people reporting into me who have tried to undermine me. People who are mailing it in and are unmotivated for one reason or another. What I've found is that if you focus your time and energy on making the rest of your team high performing and looking to you for leadership....those other people will just either fall in line or fall off on their own and quit.

A lot of it is also trust. As a Breh you have to go above and beyond (right or wrong, it just is what it is) to gain the trust of coworkers. Being young is a double strike in their eyes. Because they are not used to seeing yourg Brehs like us in positions of authority or masters of domain knowledge. You don' have to kiss their asses or be their best friends... but trying to find areas where you can relate to them and areas where you obviously demonstrate value that they can't/don't have is a start. Also, getting out ahead of that internal stakeholder nonsense and pro-actively creating places/times where he can engage them can help. Tell him its for the entire team. It will give you a chance to set boundaries and ground rules without seeming like you're chastising and/or targeting him. It will also give you an opportunity to review anything that happens with him in any 1:1s.

I probably have more strategies and tactics but would need to know more. I have someone under me right now with 25 years of industry experiences as both a leader and an individual contributor. I also have people with graduate degrees (and a doctorate) under me. And one that came via a M&A where this person was the leader of their equivalent org. So I feel your pain. Key is to shake off any imposter syndrome you might have.

My 1:1s were/are key to maintaining.

 

[BelieveBeOK]

It's always funny reading this shyt and thinking....wait....do me and OP work at the same....nahhhhhhhh. It's just the same shyt at every place.

You're in a tough position. I've had people reporting into me who have tried to undermine me. People who are mailing it in and are unmotivated for one reason or another. What I've found is that if you focus your time and energy on making the rest of your team high performing and looking to you for leadership....those other people will just either fall in line or fall off on their own and quit.

A lot of it is also trust. As a Breh you have to go above and beyond (right or wrong, it just is what it is) to gain the trust of coworkers. Being young is a double strike in their eyes. Because they are not used to seeing yourg Brehs like us in positions of authority or masters of domain knowledge. You don' have to kiss their asses or be their best friends... but trying to find areas where you can relate to them and areas where you obviously demonstrate value that they can't/don't have is a start. Also, getting out ahead of that internal stakeholder nonsense and pro-actively creating places/times where he can engage them can help. Tell him its for the entire team. It will give you a chance to set boundaries and ground rules without seeming like you're chastising and/or targeting him. It will also give you an opportunity to review anything that happens with him in any 1:1s.

I probably have more strategies and tactics but would need to know more. I have someone under me right now with 25 years of industry experiences as both a leader and an individual contributor. I also have people with graduate degrees (and a doctorate) under me. And one that came via a M&A where this person was the leader of their equivalent org. So I feel your pain. Key is to shake off any imposter syndrome you might have.

My 1:1s were/are key to maintaining.

Thanks man, really insightful post with some good tips.

That imposter syndrome is a bytch but I'm working on shaking it off quickly because I feel like people can smell it off you a mile-off.

I've realised that most people are just bullshytting their way through this thing anyway so I'm also starting to just say things with confidence, even if I'm not 100% certain I'm right.

 

[Ayo]

I've realised that most people are just bullshytting their way through this thing anyway so I'm also starting to just say things with confidence, even if I'm not 100% certain I'm right.

I find myself dropping some cliche'd ass lines at times and thinking in my head "what the fukk did I just say??? did I really just say that"

 

[Neo. The Only. The One.]

I find myself dropping some cliche'd ass lines at times and thinking in my head "what the fukk did I just say??? did I really just say that"