Carmela was “right” and essentially she just wanted his infidelity to remain hidden…it’s when it’s rubbed in her face, that’s when she acts out. I really don’t think That’s asking too much.
With that said, she knew who Tony was when she married him, he’s putting his life and freedom on the line daily, he’s affording her all the material shyt she wants, house, Ivy League school for meadow, etc. She loves being the “first lady” of north Jersey…so I understand Tony’s line of thinking but at the end of the day Carmela’s probably more “right”.