Was the woman wrong for leaving her man in this situation?

[jay83]

Just find someone who has the same belief system as you. I have noticed though that majority of women who complain about paying bills usually hate their jobs, have no real passion for their careers, or just lazy. Also some women just hate working period. ( which isn’t bad as long as the husband knows it upfront)

Every woman I’ve met who loves their job, or has a real passion for their career usually has no problem with bills from what I’ve seen. But of course paying half that’s a talk couples need to have. Ideally I’d want my woman to work part time.

 

[Ziggiy]

Women have fought a long and hard battle for equality.

And they deservedly have a modicum of that.


This is equality. You want to live in a house, eat food, watch tv, surf the internet, drive the car, indulge in extra curricular activities, smoke the blunt, drink the alcohol, sit on the furniture, utilize the shower, brush with the toothpaste, gargle with the mouthwash, wash with the soap, dry with the dryer, press with the iron, talk on the phone, game on the Playstation, jam on the sonos, and jog on the treadmill?


You gotta pay for half of that, cause you’d be paying for ALL of it by yourself.


Exceptions are made for the time after child birth when the woman CANNOT work, it would be foolhardy to try to force someone to pay when they can’t work and are literally sustaining the life of your baby.

But this “I gave you a baby and that means your ass paying for EVERYTHING FOR ALL TIME while i sit on my ass” mentality is for the birds. As a father, I change diapers, burp, and spend time with the child as well. No person, man or woman, should be allowed to free load off of the otber person in the name of a “relationship”

 

[Jerz]

It's alot of women out here who tryin run game on men. They'll go "50/50 and not ask for much." But they don't do it from a genuine place.. It's to get you believing they really some down ass woman. Once they fool you into that thought -- the expectation is that you'll now do anything for em.

The fact that dude was still tryna split bills wit her - shows that they probably had a history of splitting em. When she didn't ultimately get what she game planned for -- she stopped pretending, and showed her true self

 

[Ashley Banks]

Except the woman in question isn't a housewife if she has a job as well.
I dont agree she'd have to pay half of everything if she was a stay at home mom. However , she is pulling income herself. There should be parts she should be paying, not just leaving it all to the husband.

okay, lets just get this out of the way because you guys just keep repeating this to me, I know she’s not a stay at home wife, she has an income. I think she should be paying something. I don’t see anything wrong with her paying half, even if he made millions.

I’m JUST judging from her words of “not be bothered by him” and gathering that there is an imbalance somewhere to where she feels like it’s BOTHERSOME just being with him and it would be more beneficial to just drop him and pay all the bills herself. Get it?

Obviously his negatives outweigh his positives if his wife left him because he wanted to go 50/50 on the bills.

 

[AZBeauty]

He makes double? Yeah I'm not paying half. And if my husband fell on hard times or isnt bringing in as much money as he use to, I'd pick up the slack.

Thats not her boyfriend though, thats her husband, how is that not a conversation to be had? They couldnt talk that out?

 

[Ziggiy]

If the roles were reversed she'd insist that he pay more than half and justify it by saying thats what “real men do”

 

[jay83]

Women have fought a long and hard battle for equality.

And they deservedly have a modicum of that.


This is equality. You want to live in a house, eat food, watch tv, surf the internet, drive the car, indulge in extra curricular activities, smoke the blunt, drink the alcohol, sit on the furniture, utilize the shower, brush with the toothpaste, gargle with the mouthwash, wash with the soap, dry with the dryer, press with the iron, talk on the phone, game on the Playstation, jam on the sonos, and jog on the treadmill?


You gotta pay for half of that, cause you’d be paying for ALL of it by yourself.


Exceptions are made for the time after child birth when the woman CANNOT work, it would be foolhardy to try to force someone to pay when they can’t work and are literally sustaining the lofe of your baby.

But this “I gave you a baby and that means your ass paying for EVERYTHING FOR ALL TIME while i sit on my ass” mentality is for the birds. As a father, I change diapers, burp, and spend time with the child as well. No person, man or woman, should be allowed to free load off of the otber person in the name of a “relationship”

Derrick Jackson disapproves of this post.

 

[videogamestashbox.com]

She was right, especially since men expect you to do all the cooking, cleaning, and most of the child care and then you also have to pay for half of everything even though you make a lot less. Might as well not deal with the headache of having a man and do it on your own.

This line of argument has always been to me.
At best you have an issue with the asymmetrical nature of work I.E. Men do things periodically that take hours(sometimes days) to finish while Women do things regularly that take a couple minutes(sometimes hours) to finish. (He spent half a day repairing her car / she spent 30-45 min cooking food)
As someone who spent hours on end helping my daddy & ma round the house growing up folks act like we ain't out here...
YARD WORK

• Cutting the grass
• Moving fallen limbs to the street after storms
• Raking leaves
• Burning out ant beds
• Basic pest control
• etc etc etc

AUTO WORK

• Changing oil, brake, transmission fluid & gasket
• Fixing/sealing radiator
• Replacing broken leaking hoses
• Replacing distributor & cables
• Changing brakes
• Swapping out bad auto parts(plugs, alternator, belts, bad tire, fuse, etc. etc.)
• etc etc etc

HOME MAINTENANCE

• Fixing door hinges & knobs
• Moving, Assembling, & fixing random furniture
• Fixing/replacing broken toilet and sink parts
• Diagnosing & coordinating major/specialized repairs(painting, roof work, pest control, etc etc)
• etc etc etc

I could go on!


On the topic of "cooking, cleaning, and most of the child care"
This is before mentioning a couple with kids is likely delegating these responsibilities to those kids anyway.
Everything short of setting laundry & putting the food in the pot and taking it out can be delegated to children.

KIDS:

• Get laundry out machine
• Fold cloths
• Clean your rooms(i'll pay allowance for living & dinning room, etc)
• Take turns washing dishes
• Bring in/take out trash
• Take turns cutting grass
• feed dog
• Clean bathroom after you finish
• food prep(thaw out, get/set ingredients, ready pots/pans, set table, etc )
• baby sitting
• etc etc

That said I'm from the south were folks(even poor) are likely to live in houses and deal with sprawl which necessitates (yard work, home maintenance, & driving).

CONCESSIONS:

• Some folks live in buildings with property managers who do a lot of stuff which throws things off.
• Some people live in cities with excellent public transportation supplanting cars which throws things off.
• Some folks don't have children to delegate tasks to.

I.E. if someone moves to a more densely urbanized area keeping the mind set of living in a house with a yard & car; what men, women, and kids do around the house will need to be adjusted for that new reality.

 

[colicolicoli]

If going half is breaking her financially and he's not agreeing to having one big joint account then the husband is wrong.

But that's a lot of ifs too much info missing from the story really

 

[MR. SNIFLES]

HE ISN'T WRONG BUT BOTH OF THEIR THINKING IS FLAWED. YOU'RE MARRIED SO ALL THE MONEY BELONGS TO BOTH OF YOU.

 

[TLR Is Mental Poison]

She was right, especially since men expect you to do all the cooking, cleaning, and most of the child care and then you also have to pay for half of everything even though you make a lot less. Might as well not deal with the headache of having a man and do it on your own.

#NotAllMen

But if they can't get on the same page on something as fundamental as money they shouldn't be together anyway.

Marriages don't work when everyone is selfish

 

[O.T.I.S.]

Women have fought a long and hard battle for equality.

And they deservedly have a modicum of that.


This is equality. You want to live in a house, eat food, watch tv, surf the internet, drive the car, indulge in extra curricular activities, smoke the blunt, drink the alcohol, sit on the furniture, utilize the shower, brush with the toothpaste, gargle with the mouthwash, wash with the soap, dry with the dryer, press with the iron, talk on the phone, game on the Playstation, jam on the sonos, and jog on the treadmill?


You gotta pay for half of that, cause you’d be paying for ALL of it by yourself.


Exceptions are made for the time after child birth when the woman CANNOT work, it would be foolhardy to try to force someone to pay when they can’t work and are literally sustaining the life of your baby.

But this “I gave you a baby and that means your ass paying for EVERYTHING FOR ALL TIME while i sit on my ass” mentality is for the birds. As a father, I change diapers, burp, and spend time with the child as well. No person, man or woman, should be allowed to free load off of the otber person in the name of a “relationship”

This...

like I said earlier, obviously this is something they discussed and were doing in the past.

Now she no longer wants to do it because he makes twice as much? You guys are married... it doesn’t even matter at this point. I’m sure he’s not splitting every bill with you but at least pay half the rent.

I had this issue with an ex. Wanted me to let her stay in my 23rd floor condo but didn’t want to pay ANYTHING due to the fact that “I was making a lot more than her”.

I was like “well I expect you to pay SOMETHING... my bills just increased by you being here, pay the internet bill or cable or something”.

Nope... refused to. So I refused to let her move in.

Didn’t get no gas money, pay for groceries, nothing... and even that wouldn’t be enough with her ass living there full time.

Then she thought that cooking and cleaning would be enough (I already did that... I lived alone half my adulthood). Let’s just say her mentality on this amongst other things didn’t allow us to last long together...



And don’t get me started on how females think their p*ssy is worth more than paying half of rent.

 

[MikelArteta]

Thought two becomes one in marriage




If someone is leaving you because of the money you make good riddance.

 

[Ashley Banks]

#NotAllMen

But if they can't get on the same page on something as fundamental as money they shouldn't be together anyway.

Marriages don't work when everyone is selfish

You’re right

 

[ultraflexed]

How is it a win for her? now instead of paying half she has to pay all her bills by herself?

Yea but she gets to keep all her ego, emotions,pride an money

 

[The Wolf Among You]

I don’t care how much more money I make than her, if she’s working than she’s paying something. Cable, groceries, electric, water bill, etc. pick two and let’s move forward.

I wonder, when will women learn that if he pays for everything he holds all of the cards, that’s not “Y’all house” that’s “His house”. Unless you have a ring you’re at a disadvantage.