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Jesus Loves you...Your Cat doesn't. {#Dogset}
Through a series of events, I happened upon a copy of Battletoads (Rare Replay version) and I've slowly come to realize that there isn't anything really hard about this game, it's just unforgivingly cheap. Story below on how I came getting this copy but my initial question is below the spoiler.
Has there ever been a game made in the NES era that was so cheap and unforgiving as this piece of shyt? I mean, games like Contra, Smash Tv, Blaster Master, Ninja Gaiden for fukks sake, were hard and the difficulty ramped up as you went on and your lives and continues dwindled....but I beat 'em all in some respect or the next, be it back in the 90's or with friends later when I got the shyt.
Even notoriously hard and long games (Pause) like Maximum Carnage for the Snes/Genesis that whittled you down as you went on with fast hitting, cheap enemies to Double Dragon 3 which sorta wore you down with long levels that you couldn't pause and come back to...they were all doable after you got acclimated to the game, it's mechanics and the controls.
....but this Battletoads shyt?
I'm playing this shyt using the Rewind feature and I'm struggling to comprehend why someone would make a game like this and market it towards children way back in the day.
It's safe to say the completion rate for this game had to be in the low 5% world wide when it launched 'cause as hardcore as me and my friends were in eventually beating games like Ninja Turtles 1 and 2, Pocky and Rocky, Maximum Carnage (Took us damn near a decade, though) back before Roms and Save States were a thing....this game is just...impossible.
It's 75% odd ass vehicle levels that have you jumping from unrecognizable platform to the next at high speeds, with one hit deaths, checkpoints few and far between with alot of these stages wiping you're entire stash of lives and continues out on some "Memorize the pattern with limited retries" type bullshyt.
I mean at first, me and my breh was playing this shyt, he was drunk, I was high, we laughed about it, got our asses handed to us and we went on to other shyt. Now if you read that lowkey brag story about me chatting up a 'pawg' at gamestop
you could kinda argue that I'm doing the shyts to get back at that dude while hoping that me getting this 30G badge of worthless kudos to prove to her that I am indeed from the era where Gamers were forged in 8-bit hellfire 
But...this game, with the rewind feature, the unlimited lives feature..is just straight up bullshyt.
I ain't seen a game as unforgiving as Takeshi's Challenge, but if you know about that dude, you know why that game was made the way it is.
Lots of shyt to schlock through, but the question still remains.
Aight, so I'm away on Holiday in America so I do all my bulk videogame/Book/Electronic shopping at high volume so it's quite normal for the cashier to talk me up and shyt, trying to get you to buy into whatever stupid arse discount cards they got or promotional offers
I just buy my games, make small talk, collect my reciept and be out. Occasionally they'd have the odd pawg or the overzealous J-rpg worker who'd get REALLY hyped if you could talk to 'em about anything that ISN'T COD, Madden or Zelda on some nostalgic shyt, provided they were old enough to come from the era you chattin' about.
Meet a pawg,
. she awkward as fukk, multiple ear piercings, jangly ass hot topic bracelets, all chirpy and what's not, she a nerd and she feels like she in a spot she can let that nerd out, no problem. So we talking, hit her with the UK passport for an Id
and we get to talking far more past her ringing up my orders. We talking about 'I Am Setsuna' which harkens back to older J-rpgs, I let slip that I love the SaGA series and she's all 
And at that point I'm like "This shyt too easy.
" and I notice this Cac dude in the doorway to the back looking all
'cause he can see me slowly unlocking all the tiers to that chastity belt he been hacking away at since she prolly came into his work life existence. 
So I decide, even though I'm not trying to hit, I might as well amuse myself with flirting with this chick; we deep in talking about SaGa Frontier 1 and 2 (Cac keeps coming over and interjecting on how trash the series was, or other Rpgs around that era that were better but he can't elaborate enough on 'em
) she starts going in on how much she loved 1, it was her brother's, blah blah, nostalgia shyt, so I decide to go full a$$hole, start fiddling with my phone settings, have her call my number and what plays?
I dunno what sent breh over the edge more, from the squealing, to the puddle at her feet to the fact that here I was, a black dude hitting on his day1 crush and making more progress than he ever did with months of interaction, but I was feeling a bit good about myself, sticking it to white supremacy...sorta and all, we exchange gamer tags.....and then the phone rings..she picks up "Hello, Gamestop.
", "Um..no..we DON'T have Battletoads." and hangs up
So she
away that mild frustration, we start talking about Battletoads and how difficult it was in regards to other games that were difficult but could be overcome with time, skill, some luck and a good buddy, and in come this fakkit talkin' about how he beat Battletoads by himself back in the day, how it ain't hard you just gotta learn the stages and what's not.
I'm like
but this pale, 90's sitcom nerd having voice fakkit found a bit of ground to stand on and he really going in. Talking about strategy for stages and how this shyt separates the men from the boys. (Breh said, Boys.....I had to defend myself despite the fact that I was tugging a Pawg.
The Pawg lets slip that she got a copy of The Rare Replay shyts with the NES version of BattleToads on it...and that I can play and beat it to prove 'Howard' wrong, since we got each other's Gamertag, the Achievement should pop up since breh's only defense up to this point is the fact that he claimed to beat the shyts and I said I never got past the bike stage (Which is pretty early on). So she looks to give me a copy using her employee discount/Game lending whatever the fukk and of course that fakkit pops up "YOU CAN'T DO THAT!"
I play it cool, pull out a fresh blue hundred
pay for the shyts, ask her to write her gamertag down on ANOTHER piece of paper so I can hit breh with the 
while she bent over doing the shyts, and be out.
I just buy my games, make small talk, collect my reciept and be out. Occasionally they'd have the odd pawg or the overzealous J-rpg worker who'd get REALLY hyped if you could talk to 'em about anything that ISN'T COD, Madden or Zelda on some nostalgic shyt, provided they were old enough to come from the era you chattin' about.Meet a pawg,
. she awkward as fukk, multiple ear piercings, jangly ass hot topic bracelets, all chirpy and what's not, she a nerd and she feels like she in a spot she can let that nerd out, no problem. So we talking, hit her with the UK passport for an Id and we get to talking far more past her ringing up my orders. We talking about 'I Am Setsuna' which harkens back to older J-rpgs, I let slip that I love the SaGA series and she's all And at that point I'm like "This shyt too easy." and I notice this Cac dude in the doorway to the back looking all
So I decide, even though I'm not trying to hit, I might as well amuse myself with flirting with this chick; we deep in talking about SaGa Frontier 1 and 2 (Cac keeps coming over and interjecting on how trash the series was, or other Rpgs around that era that were better but he can't elaborate enough on 'em
) she starts going in on how much she loved 1, it was her brother's, blah blah, nostalgia shyt, so I decide to go full a$$hole, start fiddling with my phone settings, have her call my number and what plays?I dunno what sent breh over the edge more, from the squealing, to the puddle at her feet to the fact that here I was, a black dude hitting on his day1 crush and making more progress than he ever did with months of interaction, but I was feeling a bit good about myself, sticking it to white supremacy...sorta and all, we exchange gamer tags.....and then the phone rings..she picks up "Hello, Gamestop.
", "Um..no..we DON'T have Battletoads." and hangs upSo she
away that mild frustration, we start talking about Battletoads and how difficult it was in regards to other games that were difficult but could be overcome with time, skill, some luck and a good buddy, and in come this fakkit talkin' about how he beat Battletoads by himself back in the day, how it ain't hard you just gotta learn the stages and what's not.I'm like
but this pale, 90's sitcom nerd having voice fakkit found a bit of ground to stand on and he really going in. Talking about strategy for stages and how this shyt separates the men from the boys. (Breh said, Boys.....I had to defend myself despite the fact that I was tugging a Pawg.The Pawg lets slip that she got a copy of The Rare Replay shyts with the NES version of BattleToads on it...and that I can play and beat it to prove 'Howard' wrong, since we got each other's Gamertag, the Achievement should pop up since breh's only defense up to this point is the fact that he claimed to beat the shyts and I said I never got past the bike stage (Which is pretty early on). So she looks to give me a copy using her employee discount/Game lending whatever the fukk and of course that fakkit pops up "YOU CAN'T DO THAT!"
I play it cool, pull out a fresh blue hundred
pay for the shyts, ask her to write her gamertag down on ANOTHER piece of paper so I can hit breh with the while she bent over doing the shyts, and be out.Has there ever been a game made in the NES era that was so cheap and unforgiving as this piece of shyt? I mean, games like Contra, Smash Tv, Blaster Master, Ninja Gaiden for fukks sake, were hard and the difficulty ramped up as you went on and your lives and continues dwindled....but I beat 'em all in some respect or the next, be it back in the 90's or with friends later when I got the shyt.
Even notoriously hard and long games (Pause) like Maximum Carnage for the Snes/Genesis that whittled you down as you went on with fast hitting, cheap enemies to Double Dragon 3 which sorta wore you down with long levels that you couldn't pause and come back to...they were all doable after you got acclimated to the game, it's mechanics and the controls.
....but this Battletoads shyt?
I'm playing this shyt using the Rewind feature and I'm struggling to comprehend why someone would make a game like this and market it towards children way back in the day.It's safe to say the completion rate for this game had to be in the low 5% world wide when it launched 'cause as hardcore as me and my friends were in eventually beating games like Ninja Turtles 1 and 2, Pocky and Rocky, Maximum Carnage (Took us damn near a decade, though) back before Roms and Save States were a thing....this game is just...impossible.
It's 75% odd ass vehicle levels that have you jumping from unrecognizable platform to the next at high speeds, with one hit deaths, checkpoints few and far between with alot of these stages wiping you're entire stash of lives and continues out on some "Memorize the pattern with limited retries" type bullshyt.
I mean at first, me and my breh was playing this shyt, he was drunk, I was high, we laughed about it, got our asses handed to us and we went on to other shyt. Now if you read that lowkey brag story about me chatting up a 'pawg' at gamestop
you could kinda argue that I'm doing the shyts to get back at that dude while hoping that me getting this 30G badge of worthless kudos to prove to her that I am indeed from the era where Gamers were forged in 8-bit hellfire But...this game, with the rewind feature, the unlimited lives feature..is just straight up bullshyt.I ain't seen a game as unforgiving as Takeshi's Challenge, but if you know about that dude, you know why that game was made the way it is.
Lots of shyt to schlock through, but the question still remains.
Broke so many controllers trying to beat that game.
