What's the funniest thing you've heard a child say?

[Lithe]

I still laugh anytime I hear "Birthday Sex" because of my niece singing the lyrics (in all seriousness) "birds can't text."

 

[cheek100]

My youngest use to call cigarettes "cigarated"

 

[Ness]

@ birds cant text

 

[TEH]

Two main things:
The brutal honesty of very young kids - saying something that adults are to PC to say.
The way some 3 and 4 year olds substitute l's and r's for w's.

 

[Lewis Black]

Skeet skeet

Edit: wrong thread

 

[M'gann]

My lil cousin use to call condos condoms.

 

[Black Rain]

Haha my lil nephew called me ugly ass monster..

Cant lie that shyt hurt tho..

 

[Lithe]

Kids are just so funny to me! I love how innocently they see the world, so they just say whatever they think the truth is, no filter. They're so refreshing with their pure hearts. I love kids!

I used to keep my classmate's 3 nieces when we were in high school and I had to spend the night one night so I could be there with them in the morning. He had a basketball tournament he had to leave early for, and both of his parents were at work by 6 AM. So we were in his room just talking when his oldest niece (she was 6 at the time) came in and called her sisters too (ages 4 and 2) because they needed to check up on us and make sure we weren't "doin' the nasty!" Then they all 3 decided that their uncle and I should get married when he got home from his tournament because I was their "best babysitter and a nice lady." I loved those 3 little girls!

 

[Ness]

Skeet skeet

Edit: wrong thread

Nice to see you im Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC. Why dont u hav a seat sir

 

[The Infamous]

This weekend my neice gave me a Valentine's day card. It said 'Happy Valentine's day ____ (my name). She is the best man in town'

 

[Lithe]

Haha my lil nephew called me ugly ass monster..

Cant lie that shyt hurt tho..

That's mean! Sometimes little kids are mean with the stuff they say.

My little cousin, who's 4, gave me a whole speech about how I need to eat everyday to grow strong and healthy so I can be a "real grown up."

My god brother who was 3 when he said it, stared at me so crazy and started asking me "are you really a real grown up? 'Cause you're kinda little!" I said "yes, I'm actually older than your mom." He was looking at me like "are you sure?! I don't believe you!" Hahah! When his parents picked him up, I told them and they both started laughing. His mom picked him up and said "Yes! I taught my son how to troll in real life!"

 

[Dirty_Jerz]

When they go like "NO" to somebody asking them something mid sentence

 

[Lithe]

This weekend my neice gave me a Valentine's day card. It said 'Happy Valentine's day ____ (my name). She is the best man in town'

Hahaha awww! That's cute tho.

I have all of the cards/letters and drawings from "my" kids. Not yet a parent, but when a child is in my care, I protect them as I would my own. I have babysat and nannied for many kids, and they've all brought much joy to my life.

I just need to laugh tonight, so I thank y'all for contributing!

 

[Taharqa]

My sister use to call neck bones naked bones

 

[Lithe]

Here's something funny too... I will never forget this video!