It could be an illness, death, loss of a job or maybe a breakup, etc. Its hard to know what kind of demons people have out there, and I'm interested to know what others out there have had to go through
For myself, it'd be the death of my father by suicide when I was 17. He was an alcoholic who abused us kids and especially my mom, but there was a lot of trauma he had as a kid that made him that way.
I can remember alot from that day, he had kicked me and my sis out a week prior, but I came back home cause I felt he needed someone around him.. my mom had been kicked out to another state when I was 15. We had a HUGE fight (I don't even remember what about anymore which is sad) and the morning after he asked if I wanted to hang out after work. I was so angry with him and I said nah I'll probably go to my friends after work, and he went back upstairs and that was the last coherent conversation we ever had.
I came home from work and he was laying on the bed with about 20 beer cans next to him and mumbling about wanting me to get him a tuna fish sandwich. My dad could DRINK so it was shocking to see him so drunk, I called my mom and we discussed if I should call someone or let him sleep it off.. we decided to let him sleep it off and I went to my friends for 3-4 hours
When I came back home and went to check on him he was barely breathing, he had thrown up a lil and I thought maybe he was choking on his vomit. Called 911 and was told to try and clear an airway for him, and when I did he stopped breathing and I honestly thought I killed him. Worst feeling I've ever felt.
Eventually he started breathing again when the paramedics came, and early the next morning the police actually came to my house and told me I was needed at the hospital right away (didn't know they did that).. got to ICU and nurses all knew who I was instantly, made me feel super comfortable and the doctor led me to his room talking all these medical things that I had no idea about before I got to see my dad all hooked up to tubes and everything. I instantly started crying my eyes out, and the doctor left me alone for awhile.
Turns out he had drank a BUNCH of antifreeze not long after I left for work, which sounds like a terrible way to go... There's a lot to Monday morning QB over what I should have done, and the signs of his mental decline that as a kid I just was either to selfish to see or to young to process. I made some poor choices that I sort of gloss over, but in the end I've come to grips it wasn't my fault over what happened as he wanted to die.
Kind of a long "dear diary", but last week was the 16 yr anniversary and even as a grown man I still think about that day.
For myself, it'd be the death of my father by suicide when I was 17. He was an alcoholic who abused us kids and especially my mom, but there was a lot of trauma he had as a kid that made him that way.
I can remember alot from that day, he had kicked me and my sis out a week prior, but I came back home cause I felt he needed someone around him.. my mom had been kicked out to another state when I was 15. We had a HUGE fight (I don't even remember what about anymore which is sad) and the morning after he asked if I wanted to hang out after work. I was so angry with him and I said nah I'll probably go to my friends after work, and he went back upstairs and that was the last coherent conversation we ever had.
I came home from work and he was laying on the bed with about 20 beer cans next to him and mumbling about wanting me to get him a tuna fish sandwich. My dad could DRINK so it was shocking to see him so drunk, I called my mom and we discussed if I should call someone or let him sleep it off.. we decided to let him sleep it off and I went to my friends for 3-4 hours
When I came back home and went to check on him he was barely breathing, he had thrown up a lil and I thought maybe he was choking on his vomit. Called 911 and was told to try and clear an airway for him, and when I did he stopped breathing and I honestly thought I killed him. Worst feeling I've ever felt.
Eventually he started breathing again when the paramedics came, and early the next morning the police actually came to my house and told me I was needed at the hospital right away (didn't know they did that).. got to ICU and nurses all knew who I was instantly, made me feel super comfortable and the doctor led me to his room talking all these medical things that I had no idea about before I got to see my dad all hooked up to tubes and everything. I instantly started crying my eyes out, and the doctor left me alone for awhile.
Turns out he had drank a BUNCH of antifreeze not long after I left for work, which sounds like a terrible way to go... There's a lot to Monday morning QB over what I should have done, and the signs of his mental decline that as a kid I just was either to selfish to see or to young to process. I made some poor choices that I sort of gloss over, but in the end I've come to grips it wasn't my fault over what happened as he wanted to die.
Kind of a long "dear diary", but last week was the 16 yr anniversary and even as a grown man I still think about that day.
