When people approach you with problems and shoot down all your proposed solutions...

Scustin Bieburr

Baby baybee baybee UUUGH
Joined
May 3, 2012
Messages
18,913
Reputation
8,701
Daps
107,015
I feel like that's a form of abuse/aggression. I think those people low key enjoy making people feel powerless by posing a problem to them, then trying to put them in a position where all one can do is listen and can't help, and then feel as miserable as the person approaching them with the problem.

It seems to me like a way of a deeply insecure person exerting power over people and draining them of emotional energy. If they wanted to vent, it's one thing, but when they're purposefully leaving out useful information that can help you come up with a solution, it feels like an attempt to make you feel small.

I noticed this today with a coworker, she approached me with a situation that seemed to demand an urgent response, then when I gave some options, she said those wouldn't work. I asked for more information and shyt just didn't add up with her story and certain details were left out. I quickly realized that she just wanted to stress me out and wasn't ACTUALLY looking for someone to troubleshoot the issue. I came up with a reasonable plan that she couldn't shoot down but she seemed ANNOYED by the fact that a solution was given that made logical sense :dahell:
 

gho3st

plata or plomo
Joined
Oct 27, 2012
Messages
33,718
Reputation
2,759
Daps
80,046
Reppin
2016
I feel like that's a form of abuse/aggression. I think those people low key enjoy making people feel powerless by posing a problem to them, then trying to put them in a position where all one can do is listen and can't help, and then feel as miserable as the person approaching them with the problem.

It seems to me like a way of a deeply insecure person exerting power over people and draining them of emotional energy. If they wanted to vent, it's one thing, but when they're purposefully leaving out useful information that can help you come up with a solution, it feels like an attempt to make you feel small.

I noticed this today with a coworker, she approached me with a situation that seemed to demand an urgent response, then when I gave some options, she said those wouldn't work. I asked for more information and shyt just didn't add up with her story and certain details were left out. I quickly realized that she just wanted to stress me out and wasn't ACTUALLY looking for someone to troubleshoot the issue. I came up with a reasonable plan that she couldn't shoot down but she seemed ANNOYED by the fact that a solution was given that made logical sense :dahell:
Yea avoid ppl liek that like the plague lol
 

Complexion

ʇdᴉɹɔsǝɥʇdᴉlɟ
Joined
Jan 1, 2018
Messages
6,338
Reputation
5,322
Daps
27,660
I used to have a small sign which read:

"My ears hear good news only"

so when they rolled up I'd stop them whining quick, point at it and then wait.

Everyone got the idea real quick. Some even grasped the concept underlying it as well.
 

pcpking

All Star
Joined
Jan 16, 2017
Messages
1,872
Reputation
801
Daps
10,419
Sometimes people just want to vent and want your ear more than your solution
 
Last edited:

mbewane

Knicks: 93 til infinity
Joined
May 3, 2012
Messages
18,355
Reputation
3,841
Daps
51,846
Reppin
Paris, France
They dont really want a solution, they just want to vent.. Let em vent and keep it moving.. If its too draining just ignore them..

Sometimes people just want to vent and want your ear more than your solution

This. Some people just want to vent about a certain situation. Ironically by providing them with a solution you might be even making it "worse", because you're showing that there IS a solution, but they didn't think about it. So they might become even more frustrated. Which is why they shut down whatever solution you'll come up with, because each one of them proves how much you have the solutions that they weren't able to come up with themselves. It's fukked up but it happens. I should know, I can be that kind of person :francis:
 
Top