Worthless Loser
Blackpilled
Lack of conflict resolution skills. Happens with black women too.
Why Do Black Men Struggle So Much With The Dissolution Of Friendships?
- Thread starter Devil Plisken…CMS
- Start date
because mfs still be owing us money
Insensitive
Superstar
Idk.
I got over that shyt in my early 20s.
Everything isn't meant to last.
I pour my energies into legacy and the occasional minimum wage baddie in her twenties.
I got over that shyt in my early 20s.
Everything isn't meant to last.
I pour my energies into legacy and the occasional minimum wage baddie in her twenties.
Cloutius Maximus
with the aid of the Funk...
basicallyIdk.
I got over that shyt in my early 20s.
Everything isn't meant to last.
I pour my energies into legacy and the occasional minimum wage baddie in her twenties.
if they are really your boy you can not see em for over a decade and still chop it up like it was yesterday.
7th Letter Specialist
This SIG peel bandanas like bananas
But we not worried about them. We worried about our own. You don’t ever see cacs, Asians, Hispanics etc worried about “everybody”. It’s only us. That’s the first problem.
Biscayne
Ocean air
There’s no way to statistically quantify OPs claims. If you move around different races of ppl, you’ll see “friendship fallouts” are just a human thing. The question op poses is confusing to me, because this ain’t something you can necessarily quantify by race. But the question was posed in such a way that he made it seem like this is more common amongst black men than any others. It’s like asking “Why do black men always get flat tires?”
Biscayne
Ocean air
How is this specially a black male issue? I’m dead ass confused. I never knew this happened more often with black men than anyone else.i'm glad yall recognize it's a regular problem cuz any other thread i see posters incelled out on some "females hate each other and can't keep friends" bs.
O³ (O cubed)
No more PAWGs, PLEASE??!!!??
That's a blanket statement that hasn't been proven.
-Because when the person's still your friend you might tend to give them passes on certain shyt off the love. Once that friendship ends the fukk shyt isn't tolerated the same & one side might want a pass the other won't give anymore. Now one person accuses the other of changing up & hostilities rise.
-That's just one scenario.
Sometimes it's not personal. People have a lot on their plates so they might not have the capacity to meet you where you would like them too. It's actually a lot of work to feel where someone is coming from on a deep level and give a heartfelt response, or at least it is for me. Then you have to have already pre-vetted the person to know if they are doing an emotional dump or just vibing you know.Everybody has their own life to live and thus, their own agendas to maintain.
It’s also a known thing that nobody really cares about anything black men go thru, including friendship dynamics. I’ve told my story a few times on her but when I open up to ppl IRL they usually hit me with theand kinda go about their day…not much you can do besides deal with it like the rest of life.
I have personally never ended a friendship. I just got on a different wavelength that they most likely weren't on otherwise we would have crossed paths again. If we do it's still all cordial. If I had to cut you off you were never gang anyway
depends.
I lost most of my childhood friends, mostly to early deaths from bad decisions or worse environments. I think for other people with my experience, it can make losing the ones who did survive along with them a traumatic experience because it's the same feeling of loss but without the finality of knowing there's nothing that can be done about it.
that said, I think there are probably others with my experiences like me who just adapted to that by creating a disconnect with people. After my early 20s, there's just been an insurmountable distance people get kept at. Don't let people in and it doesn't matter if they leave, when or how.
There's a bigger conversation here that parallels to the pressures put on black men in this society to somehow be hypermasculine despite also having the men of our culture under constant siege. To be stoic through their problems despite having, categorically, more of them to deal with and basically no adequate numbers of well-adjusted role models to understand how to do so. To be 'real' despite how fake that concept tends to be and how directly detrimental to being well-adjusted, emotionally intelligent and not just overwhelmingly angry it is.
I think at the core, we're trying to find solid ground in a storm; pulled in every direction by society, media, legality and culture, but also expected to stand firm despite it or almost because of it.
There's no growth without molting - leaving behind what no longer serves you. But on that same note, the most common means of deriding black men is to tell them they 'forgot where they came from' or 'forgot who you are'. We're urged to grow and stay the same simultaneously; and often bound by what others expect us to be. Other groups don't get as tight a restriction on who we are expected to be to 'earn' the very identities we are incapable of not carrying
tl;dr: it's hard to be a black man in this world and in America. It's harder to keep a group of black male friends without losing them to death, drugs, the system, or their own decisionmaking. We are set up to fail and then explicitly told that expressing human emotion in reaction to that is worse than even the failure itself. Vince said it. 'Ghetto was a mismatch. You ain't never finna win that.'
I lost most of my childhood friends, mostly to early deaths from bad decisions or worse environments. I think for other people with my experience, it can make losing the ones who did survive along with them a traumatic experience because it's the same feeling of loss but without the finality of knowing there's nothing that can be done about it.
that said, I think there are probably others with my experiences like me who just adapted to that by creating a disconnect with people. After my early 20s, there's just been an insurmountable distance people get kept at. Don't let people in and it doesn't matter if they leave, when or how.
There's a bigger conversation here that parallels to the pressures put on black men in this society to somehow be hypermasculine despite also having the men of our culture under constant siege. To be stoic through their problems despite having, categorically, more of them to deal with and basically no adequate numbers of well-adjusted role models to understand how to do so. To be 'real' despite how fake that concept tends to be and how directly detrimental to being well-adjusted, emotionally intelligent and not just overwhelmingly angry it is.
I think at the core, we're trying to find solid ground in a storm; pulled in every direction by society, media, legality and culture, but also expected to stand firm despite it or almost because of it.
There's no growth without molting - leaving behind what no longer serves you. But on that same note, the most common means of deriding black men is to tell them they 'forgot where they came from' or 'forgot who you are'. We're urged to grow and stay the same simultaneously; and often bound by what others expect us to be. Other groups don't get as tight a restriction on who we are expected to be to 'earn' the very identities we are incapable of not carrying
tl;dr: it's hard to be a black man in this world and in America. It's harder to keep a group of black male friends without losing them to death, drugs, the system, or their own decisionmaking. We are set up to fail and then explicitly told that expressing human emotion in reaction to that is worse than even the failure itself. Vince said it. 'Ghetto was a mismatch. You ain't never finna win that.'
Last edited:
Amo Husserl
Superstar
OP is not making a claim in the title.
OP is requesting information in the title because issa question... specifically about black men:
This is asking for anecdotes to reach a general consensus to answer the thread title's question.
No quantitative work necessary because OP's question is qualitative.
OP asking about experiences of black men, why black men struggle with the dissolution of friendships.
It can't be quantified by race because OP is asking for anecdotes to address a qualitative question not a quantitative question.
Quantitative question: how many black men struggle with the dissolution of friendships?
And it can be quantified by race because the subject of the quantitative question is black men.
Black men would be interviewed.
bourgeoisie tall freak
Superstar
How is this specially a black male issue? I’m dead ass confused. I never knew this happened more often with black men than anyone else.
it's not but the OP probably just meant to discuss from a black man perspective. you know this is the locker room so everything must have a racial aspect to it lol
Kiyoshi-Dono
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Because when you thought you had a brother and they betray you
Start acting funny because they got on
Start acting funny with a new bytch
Or finally start letting that jealousy show after hiding it all those years
That mentally fukks us up
We were already born into a world that fukking hates us and devalues our existence
So when you find a stranger that gets it
You share stories and break bread only to get shytted on in the end
Yeah it’s a struggle
If we being honest it’s not a race specific thing
But what I’ve listed takes a toll on black men specifically because the shyt we were born into
Factor in many of our uncles, dads, pop pops, never dealt with the fallout of the same shyt
So we saw emotional husks or men that kept shyt close to their chest until their death beds
Black men deal with outer worldly stress no other men have to
Most of the times we can’t even take off our armor
We sleep in that shyt
Eat in that shyt
Study in that shyt
Work in that shyt
We’ve been programmed we all by ourselves
So it’s fukk that nikka or plural when shyt goes bad
So add my whole post up and you have your answer
Never ending cycle of trauma, untrusting, fear and anger for letting somebody get close and they leave
Not through death but bullshyt
Start acting funny because they got on
Start acting funny with a new bytch
Or finally start letting that jealousy show after hiding it all those years
That mentally fukks us up
We were already born into a world that fukking hates us and devalues our existence
So when you find a stranger that gets it
You share stories and break bread only to get shytted on in the end
Yeah it’s a struggle
If we being honest it’s not a race specific thing
But what I’ve listed takes a toll on black men specifically because the shyt we were born into
Factor in many of our uncles, dads, pop pops, never dealt with the fallout of the same shyt
So we saw emotional husks or men that kept shyt close to their chest until their death beds
Black men deal with outer worldly stress no other men have to
Most of the times we can’t even take off our armor
We sleep in that shyt
Eat in that shyt
Study in that shyt
Work in that shyt
We’ve been programmed we all by ourselves
So it’s fukk that nikka or plural when shyt goes bad
So add my whole post up and you have your answer
Never ending cycle of trauma, untrusting, fear and anger for letting somebody get close and they leave
Not through death but bullshyt