Why Women Cheat: The Truth About Deception
- Thread starter Super TD Jakes
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Super TD Jakes
Banned
there are 3 factors that contribute to the state that we are in now regarding relationships:
- the inception of birth control in 1960
- the "no fault" divorce
- having children out of wedlock/being a single mother is no longer taboo
before birth control, the horror of conceiving without being married curbed a lot of pre-marital/causal sex. it still happened, but people were EXTRA careful not to get pregnant or they just had sex to conceive. when birth contorl came out, so did the idea that casual sex was ok. with casual sex came experimentation. with experimentation came curiosity more and more women wanting to experience sex with people other than their partners. with them being on birth control, the scare of getting pregnant during an extra-marital affair was pretty much eliminated. Pre 1960s, women were stepford wives. stay at home, take care of the house and kids, make sure dinner was on the table, take care of husband when he gets home. which brings me to my next point...
the no fault divorce. before the no fault divorce, you had to jump through millions of hoops and fight through mounds of red tape to get unhitched. it was so difficult that most married couples just toughed out the hard times and stayed together. that's why so many of our parents (for older heads here), grandparents, and great grandparents were married so 30, 40, and 50 years plus. this was not because they were soul mates and they loved each other unconditionally. it was because divorce was a hassle. someone had to be at fault to actually get a divorce. now, you can get a divorce for no reason whatsoever. not getting along? divorce. disconnected? divorce. hubby cant put his shoes in the closet and keeps leaving them in the living room? divorce. and on and on and on.... marriage takes work, but people are lazy. we are living in a microwave society. people want instant gratification, and if they can't get it NOW, they divorce and move on. social networking makes it ridiculously easy to do dirt. shyt, technology period makes it easy to do dirt. since everything else is easy, why shouldn't a divorce be? and with divorce comes the breakdown of family structure, leaving tons of single mothers. which brings me to my next point...
having children out of wedlock/being a single mother is no longer taboo. back in the day (70's and before), it was absolutely unacceptable for a woman to have a kid if she wasn't married. if she did, she was a whore, and most likely, the dude that knocked her up was FORCED to marry her or he was getting his ass kicked by the dudes in her family AND the dudes in his family. but now, people are more surprised to find out that a chick DOESN'T have kids. it's so commonplace now, that single mother households have replaced the traditional nuclear family as the norm. it was almost impossible to run from your responsibilities to your family back in the gap. it was a HORRIBLE thing if you did, and NOBODY would cosign that. you would become an outcast. now, it's a badge of honor. men get multiple women pregnant, deny all kids, and get a guest spot on the Maury show. women have sex with so many men and get pregnant and can't even figure out which man is her baby's father. she also gets a spot on the Maury show (as well as child support, govt. assistance, housing, food stamps, reduced cost electric bills, free cell phone service, etc.) who is hurt in the end? the kids and the family structure.
you want to know why women (or people in general) cheat? because is acceptable to do so. people only do what's allowed, and society has told us that being promiscuous, having single mother households, getting divorced, and just being all around selfish is ok. if you watch tv, surf the net, or just observe your surroundings, you'll see that i'm right. and it all starts with attitudes towards sex. easy isn't always better. if you have to work for something, it becomes that much more valuable. nothing has any value anymore. everything is too easy.
aaight, i'm finished. my carpal tunnel syndrome is acting up right now...gotta fall back from the typing for a minute...
good post! but women been cheatin' since the beginnin' of time for the same reasons men cheat, lust and it's just natural...social structures were created to control women's sexual behavior and marriage was made for lockdown status and the gathering of resources...true that marriage was forced for those kids out of wedlock also...
Scustin Trillberlake
Banned
If a girl ever cheated on me and told me, the relationship would be over. Dead in the water, there is no "working it out".
I would ask her who she cheated on me with, and this would be the result.
I would ask her who she cheated on me with, and this would be the result.
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Ain't That Something
Superstar
u still?
that i didn't sacrifice you on your mother's chin?...
http://troll.me/images/xzibit-yo-dawg/nikka-please.jpg
Ya valtrex medication must be really acting up uh
Super TD Jakes
Banned
http://troll.me/images/xzibit-yo-dawg/nikka-please.jpg
Ya valtrex medication must be really acting up uh
That first person hasn't even accepted responsibility for what they've done. they've created a logical escape from their own shytty behavior and being a shytty person by championing themselves as a savior of sorts. they're protecting the person they wrong by withholding the fact that they wronged them.written by balises , 13 January, 2012
@Bmaxi
I too have cheated on my husband. What's strange is he is wonderful and we have a great relationship both sexually and emotionally. The man I cheated with meant nothing, purely physical. I debated on telling my husband, being honest (which I totally agree with btw, in just about all cases. This being one, where I don't think honesty is the best policy). Reason being, not because I don't think I should be honest, not because I don't think I deserve to suffer the humiliation of knowing what I did to him, how I betrayed him, because I totally do. If I am truly honest with myself, I have to admit that I would only be telling him to relieve my self of the guilt. So we can either work it out or move on. Is it really fair to him? Why should I break his heart, why should I make him suffer the humiliation of everyone knowing, and him feeling that he was made a fool of. I don't think I should. You know that old saying "What he doesn't know, won't hurt him" is actually true, in my opinion. Don't get me wrong, I am not condoning what I did, it was truly horrible, selfish, disrespectful, and I am the biggest coward. I do truly feel guilty, and I am truly sorry for what I have done. The punishment I will suffer is always knowing what I did. But I will never ever tell him, because I will not break his heart. Sorry for the long post, also this is just my opinion, you have to do what you feel is right for your relationship. You mentioned that you kissed an old friend. Cheating is cheating, I under stand this, however kissing someone vs. having sex with someone, I feel that kissing is not as serious, certainly not worth risking an 8 year relationship just to make yourself feel better. At least you realize that you made a mistake, and I think that people that realize the error of their ways, usually feel guilty enough to not do it again. Again, just my opinion. Good Luck to you.
written by, 06 February, 2012
I cheated on my bf before right after i got into a relationship with him ... The guy i cheated with was a friend of mine from school . We got close and hung out for a few mths resulting in us sleeping together . My bf found out few mths later. He forgave me after and i promised him that i wasn't gonna hurt him like that anymore . My bf's job requires him to travel a lot and we are in a long distance relationship... but we both make the effort to communicate daily and he flies back here to see me whenever he gets the chance to ... and he is a great guy and i wanted to be with him always... but two months ago, after being together for a year and it has been a year since the first cheating happened ... we moved on from it like it never happened before ... He was away at work ... and i told him i was gonna wait till he return and from there we will finally decide how we can be together in one place . I went out one night and bumped into one of my ex flings i had before i got with my bf ... and things got out of hand . I cheated on him again ... and i couldn't bring myself to tell him afraid of losing him ... and thinking that i will not get caught and just let it pass ... Being very selfish of me to do so ... When he came back 2 months ago ... He found out about it thru an conversation i had with a friend ... He got really heartbroken ... I didn't know what to say or do as i knew i screwed up again ... He said he still loves me a lot till now ... We are still very close though we are not together due to trust issues ... I really want to change myself for me and for him ... I am not sure if he will ever risk his heart with me again ... but i still love him a lot and i can never meet someone like him ....
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Taken from the truthaboutdeception.com
Why Women Cheat - Truth About Deception
Discuss...and another thing "husband" is code for simp....not getting married again...
a lot of women do shyt like this. engage in shytty behavior and rationalize their actions over and over again until they pound it into something that makes them feel ok about what they did even if they were dead wrong.
Super TD Jakes
Banned
exactly....denial ain't a river that runs in egypt....
its deeper than being a bad boy and conforming. if you were a ball player before she met you and she met you at a hoop game eventually she's gonna look at hoop and feel like its getting too much attention from you and give you the ultimatum of her or hoop and if you give into her demands her attraction to you will diminished because she knows she can control you.A woman's job in life is to get a bad boy to conform..
the second she gets him to be the good little boy she
wants him to be she'll give that p*ssy to a nikka that
reminds her of the badboy he used to be....
this is why i'll never change it up.
basically you could take that as a woman's goal is to destroy her own attraction to you. in reality she probably doesn't even want you to change its just a shyt test. what she's asking you to change is likely what she likes about you the most she's just grown to become jealous of it.
the difference is many women use backwards rationalization typically when cheating and men don'tA lot of men would give the same reasons. "Don't know why, they were just hot, have a good relationship with my wife but wanted to fukk"
Who cares?
At the end of the day you cheatedIt's not some mystery. There's not a magic formula that's going to keep your girl from cheatin on you.
a woman sees a guy and she wants to fukk him and she acts on the impulse without really giving it much thought. in her own mind she's a good person but the act she committed is not something a good person would do putting her behavior in direct conflict with her self-identity.
this is when backwards rationalization happens. she works out logic to justify her behavior so she can still feel like a good person despite her behavior.
most of the time when a man cheats typically he just wants some strange p*ssy he knows this and he's ok with it and if caught he can admit it was wrong and even apologize for it (even if he doesn't mean it). many of these women will cheat on you then blame you for it when they really just cheated cause they wanted to.
this song explains the process better
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bp39qSdyTc4"]Cognitive dissonance (Dissonant & Justified) - YouTube[/ame]