Tony Schiavone
Banned
...and Mean Gene Okerlund gave me some Undertaker related scoops!
Be sure to stay tuned, folks! There's no telling if this inside information will alter the course of the road to Wrestlemania. But just know that as of this moment, this is what's pencilled in!
These spoilers are taken directly from notes Vince McMahon wrote on a cocktail napkin Sunday, February 23, immediately after watching the tremendous Wyatts/Shield match. The bitter jobber Dolph Ziggler stole the napkin, photocopied it, uploaded it to the cloud, and returned the original napkin to its place while Vince was distracted by an unusually large steak wrap with extra ketchup. These notes seem to be the current booking plan for Raw on Monday, February 24. I've transcribed the notes here:
Cena comes out and demands a match with Bray Wyatt at Wrestlemania 30. The Wyatt family comes out to confront Cena, but they're interrupted by the Shield. Dean Ambrose demands a rematch with the Wyatts while Roman Reigns glares at him in a way you don't want a Samoan to glare at you.
A mix between
and 
.
Wyatt says he's defeated the Shield, so he's moving on to face Cena at Mania. Ambrose proposes a handicap tag match between the Shield and Harper and Rowan. Wyatt says he may be a humble preacher from the backwoods, but he's not stupid. The Shield always use the numbers game to their advantage. He suggests two shield members can face his boys, Harper and Rowan. Ambrose accepts, and decides it will be himself and Rollins. Reigns vocally disagrees. He got pinned at Elimination Chamber because Ambrose was off in the crowd somewhere, hiding. A scuffle between the Shield ensues while the Wyatts laugh. Ambrose diverts attention away from his group's schism by assaulting Bray Wyatt. A pier six brawls briefly takes place, with Cena seemingly siding with the Shield.
The lights go out. The arena is enveloped in an eery darkness for what feels like a long time.
A bell rings. THAT bell.
A pyrotechnic lightning storm pierces the darkness. Through fog, the Undertaker rises up on the stage. The Wyatts utilize this distraction to overwhelm the Shield as the dead man lumbers to the ring. By the time he reaches it, ascends the steps, and enters, the Wyatts have the Shield and Cena separated and losing the battle all around.
Undertaker paces around to get a look at each fight. He watches Rowan grapple with Reigns near the timekeeper. He turns to see Ambrose eating Wyatt's fists at the Spanish announce table. He sees Cena lying motionless nearby. He circles around to watch Harper mercilessly stomp on Rollins near the ring steps. With his back turned, he never sees Reigns climb into the ring. He slowly turns around.
SPEAR FROM REIGNS TO THE UNDERTAKER.
We take a moment to let what's transpired sink in. All the combatants are now fixated on the scene in the ring. Reigns stands over the motionless Undertaker. His head turns slightly, just enough that he can dart his eyes toward the Wrestlemania XXX sign. A smirk briefly flashes across his face. He points to the sign.
Undertaker sits up. Reigns tries to strike him repeatedly, but it's no use. Chokeslam.
Now with the roles reversed, Reigns unconscious on the mat and the seven foot tall Undertaker towering over him, everyone must be wondering if he will accept what seemed to be a challenge from the young Roman.
He points to the sign.
Normally aglow in a variety of eye-catching lights, the Wrestlemania 30 sign attracts lightning before setting aflame, a fearful omen. The Wyatt Family escorts the Undertaker back up the ramp. Bray Wyatt screams toward the Shield, "Where did you think my power came from?"
Laughing maniacally, the Wyatts descend into the fog, flanking the dead man.
Commercials, some matches, Kofi jobbing to Rutherford PS Hayes, whatever whatever.
Hogan comes out. I'd write lines for him but he'll just forget them, so I'll allow him to go the old school route and just ramble. Daniel Bryan interrupts him and tells Hulk he got screwed in the Chamber and wants a shot at the title. Batista comes out and says he's got nothing personal against Bryan, but the title shot is rightly his because he won the Rumble. Orton comes out, clutching his titles, and boasts that he's the face of the WWE. Paul Heyman arrives and tells us WWE is contractually obligated to give Brock Lesnar a title shot at some point. What better time than Mania? Hogan suggests a fatal four way. It's a chaotic argument in the ring until Lesnar runs in from the audience and just beats the tar out of everybody. Orton manages to slither away. Hunter comes out onto the ramp and says Hulk had the best idea. The main event match for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship is a four way dance between Bryan, Batista, Lesnar, and Orton. If Hunter isn't cheered for being the genius and badass that he is, we can edit the sound later.
Nobody watches Smackdown, let Stephanie write it.
Next Raw on March 3rd:
We'll utilize all available resources of WWE Films to make the highest quality vignette possible. I want this thing to be cinematic, people.
The scene is a muddy dirt road, far from civilization. In the fading sunshine of the afternoon, a limousine comes to a stop. The besuited corporate Kane steps out, clutching a fine briefcase. He stares out into an endless swamp. Soundtrack: Ligeti's Lux Aeterna. A subtitle reveals this is "Parts Unknown." Kane takes a breath before stepping into the muck and mire.
Commercials, Kofi jobbing to whoever, whatever.
We rejoin Kane as he's further into his trek, having loosened his tie, sweating profusely as the sun nears setting over the murky bayou. Gators abound. Snakes slither among the vines. The further he walks, the more easily a distant, hypnotic drum can be heard. The chanting of many voices is a faint whisper at this point. Kane continues toward the noise. Just as the blackness of night in the swamp under the thick canopy snuffs out the sunlight, Kane reaches a clearing. A pitiful shack barely stands before him. He enters. Bray's familiar rocking chair is all that's there to greet him.
The drumming and strange hymns beckon him further. He adjusts his tie to a more formal position. He is here to do business, after all. He ventures on, swallowed up by the swamp. Lux Aeterna continues.
Commercials, maybe a Santino sketch, I don't care, "creative" can come up with something.
For this final segment of the vignette, we follow Kane as he parts the ferns and vines. He stops abruptly when he realizes he's reached the source of the cacophony, a clearing in the swamp. Filthily dressed backwater people dance maniacally in a circle, shouting and singing strange things. Erick Rowan dutifully beats an ancient, giant drum. Luke Harper smiles, seemingly awaiting something with baited breath, holding a flaming torch. Bray Wyatt is near the middle of the circle, on his knees, making exaltations to something foreign to this world. Something very bad.
The drumming increases in frequency. The swamp people dance more feverishly. Wyatt approaches a climactic emotional state. A large patch of mud in the center of the unholy ritual begins to rise. "It's him!" Wyatt shouts. "It's HIM!" The mud gives way. A coffin surfaces and then tilts itself upright. Lightning flashes, momentarily revealing that there are many more... individuals... among the trees. Kevin Sullivan is briefly seen lurking. Louder than even the singers or the drum, the coffin creaks open. Lux Aeterna reaches its climax.
It's him.
Just as cold and lifeless as he was when he first appeared, all those years ago. With the hat and the purple glove and tie combination.
The dead man lurches out of the coffin and grips the madly grinning Wyatt by the throat. Wyatt laughs with glee. "Let me be your herald!"
Kane shudders and drops the briefcase. It falls open. We zoom in. It's a contract. Two names are visible. Roman Reigns. And the Undertaker. Raw comes to a close.
And you know something, Hunter? I think I might put the kid over.
Cena comes out and demands a match with Bray Wyatt at Wrestlemania 30. The Wyatt family comes out to confront Cena, but they're interrupted by the Shield. Dean Ambrose demands a rematch with the Wyatts while Roman Reigns glares at him in a way you don't want a Samoan to glare at you.
A mix between
and .Wyatt says he's defeated the Shield, so he's moving on to face Cena at Mania. Ambrose proposes a handicap tag match between the Shield and Harper and Rowan. Wyatt says he may be a humble preacher from the backwoods, but he's not stupid. The Shield always use the numbers game to their advantage. He suggests two shield members can face his boys, Harper and Rowan. Ambrose accepts, and decides it will be himself and Rollins. Reigns vocally disagrees. He got pinned at Elimination Chamber because Ambrose was off in the crowd somewhere, hiding. A scuffle between the Shield ensues while the Wyatts laugh. Ambrose diverts attention away from his group's schism by assaulting Bray Wyatt. A pier six brawls briefly takes place, with Cena seemingly siding with the Shield.
The lights go out. The arena is enveloped in an eery darkness for what feels like a long time.
A bell rings. THAT bell.
A pyrotechnic lightning storm pierces the darkness. Through fog, the Undertaker rises up on the stage. The Wyatts utilize this distraction to overwhelm the Shield as the dead man lumbers to the ring. By the time he reaches it, ascends the steps, and enters, the Wyatts have the Shield and Cena separated and losing the battle all around.
Undertaker paces around to get a look at each fight. He watches Rowan grapple with Reigns near the timekeeper. He turns to see Ambrose eating Wyatt's fists at the Spanish announce table. He sees Cena lying motionless nearby. He circles around to watch Harper mercilessly stomp on Rollins near the ring steps. With his back turned, he never sees Reigns climb into the ring. He slowly turns around.
SPEAR FROM REIGNS TO THE UNDERTAKER.
We take a moment to let what's transpired sink in. All the combatants are now fixated on the scene in the ring. Reigns stands over the motionless Undertaker. His head turns slightly, just enough that he can dart his eyes toward the Wrestlemania XXX sign. A smirk briefly flashes across his face. He points to the sign.
Undertaker sits up. Reigns tries to strike him repeatedly, but it's no use. Chokeslam.
Now with the roles reversed, Reigns unconscious on the mat and the seven foot tall Undertaker towering over him, everyone must be wondering if he will accept what seemed to be a challenge from the young Roman.
He points to the sign.
Normally aglow in a variety of eye-catching lights, the Wrestlemania 30 sign attracts lightning before setting aflame, a fearful omen. The Wyatt Family escorts the Undertaker back up the ramp. Bray Wyatt screams toward the Shield, "Where did you think my power came from?"
Laughing maniacally, the Wyatts descend into the fog, flanking the dead man.
Commercials, some matches, Kofi jobbing to Rutherford PS Hayes, whatever whatever.
Hogan comes out. I'd write lines for him but he'll just forget them, so I'll allow him to go the old school route and just ramble. Daniel Bryan interrupts him and tells Hulk he got screwed in the Chamber and wants a shot at the title. Batista comes out and says he's got nothing personal against Bryan, but the title shot is rightly his because he won the Rumble. Orton comes out, clutching his titles, and boasts that he's the face of the WWE. Paul Heyman arrives and tells us WWE is contractually obligated to give Brock Lesnar a title shot at some point. What better time than Mania? Hogan suggests a fatal four way. It's a chaotic argument in the ring until Lesnar runs in from the audience and just beats the tar out of everybody. Orton manages to slither away. Hunter comes out onto the ramp and says Hulk had the best idea. The main event match for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship is a four way dance between Bryan, Batista, Lesnar, and Orton. If Hunter isn't cheered for being the genius and badass that he is, we can edit the sound later.
Nobody watches Smackdown, let Stephanie write it.
Next Raw on March 3rd:
We'll utilize all available resources of WWE Films to make the highest quality vignette possible. I want this thing to be cinematic, people.
The scene is a muddy dirt road, far from civilization. In the fading sunshine of the afternoon, a limousine comes to a stop. The besuited corporate Kane steps out, clutching a fine briefcase. He stares out into an endless swamp. Soundtrack: Ligeti's Lux Aeterna. A subtitle reveals this is "Parts Unknown." Kane takes a breath before stepping into the muck and mire.
Commercials, Kofi jobbing to whoever, whatever.
We rejoin Kane as he's further into his trek, having loosened his tie, sweating profusely as the sun nears setting over the murky bayou. Gators abound. Snakes slither among the vines. The further he walks, the more easily a distant, hypnotic drum can be heard. The chanting of many voices is a faint whisper at this point. Kane continues toward the noise. Just as the blackness of night in the swamp under the thick canopy snuffs out the sunlight, Kane reaches a clearing. A pitiful shack barely stands before him. He enters. Bray's familiar rocking chair is all that's there to greet him.
The drumming and strange hymns beckon him further. He adjusts his tie to a more formal position. He is here to do business, after all. He ventures on, swallowed up by the swamp. Lux Aeterna continues.
Commercials, maybe a Santino sketch, I don't care, "creative" can come up with something.
For this final segment of the vignette, we follow Kane as he parts the ferns and vines. He stops abruptly when he realizes he's reached the source of the cacophony, a clearing in the swamp. Filthily dressed backwater people dance maniacally in a circle, shouting and singing strange things. Erick Rowan dutifully beats an ancient, giant drum. Luke Harper smiles, seemingly awaiting something with baited breath, holding a flaming torch. Bray Wyatt is near the middle of the circle, on his knees, making exaltations to something foreign to this world. Something very bad.
The drumming increases in frequency. The swamp people dance more feverishly. Wyatt approaches a climactic emotional state. A large patch of mud in the center of the unholy ritual begins to rise. "It's him!" Wyatt shouts. "It's HIM!" The mud gives way. A coffin surfaces and then tilts itself upright. Lightning flashes, momentarily revealing that there are many more... individuals... among the trees. Kevin Sullivan is briefly seen lurking. Louder than even the singers or the drum, the coffin creaks open. Lux Aeterna reaches its climax.
It's him.
Just as cold and lifeless as he was when he first appeared, all those years ago. With the hat and the purple glove and tie combination.
The dead man lurches out of the coffin and grips the madly grinning Wyatt by the throat. Wyatt laughs with glee. "Let me be your herald!"
Kane shudders and drops the briefcase. It falls open. We zoom in. It's a contract. Two names are visible. Roman Reigns. And the Undertaker. Raw comes to a close.
And you know something, Hunter? I think I might put the kid over.
Be sure to stay tuned, folks! There's no telling if this inside information will alter the course of the road to Wrestlemania. But just know that as of this moment, this is what's pencilled in!
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