You return from the apiculturist to see YOUR DAUGHTER AND SON HAVE BEEN KIDNAPPED YET AGAIN...

[Ed MOTHEREFFING G]

The street outside :

The door fixture :

​

You drop the jar of honey you just bought :

You see their note:

...hope you enjoyed the hiatus DUNNY


The boss man got tired of us getting our hands dirty with hand to hand combat,
Jungle missions
Videogame competitons
And other type situations that you specialize in

We also remembered, HEY, WE'RE fukkING VILLIANS AND WE HAVE A LOT OF REALLY FAST CARS, and if we take them and DRIVE AWAY BEFORE YOU GET BACK, you cant do shyt

So, we decided that we'd just take your kids, go back to our secret lair, and kill them






Unless you can beat ALL OF US in a race to the death through various city, desert, and costal backdrops



FIND YOUR BEST DRIVER AND CAR AND MEET US AT THE THE LOCATION ON THE BACK OF THIS BLOODY LETTER.

WIN AND YOUR KIDS LIVE


LOSE AND YOU WATCH US CUT THEIR HEADS OFF

oh yeah


YOUR WIFE SAYS HI



GOOD LUCK

you need a DRIVER

YOU CAN HIRE ANY FICTIONAL DRIVER EVER TO WIN THIS MISSION.

WHO DO YOU HIRE​

 

[Ed MOTHEREFFING G]

Mods: had a glitch...please edit the poll to add the following options :

(remove ricky bobby and chicago wind)

Sam (Ronin)
Jason Bourne
The Blues Brothers
osu sucks

 

[Roaden Polynice]

God I hope you never choose to take your writing talents to Hollywood

 

[Roaden Polynice]

Oh and I choose Driver...obvi

 

[Shaft]

Hold on wait up, I have to go educate myself and look up apiculturist.

 

[PS5 Pro]

I'd hire Marty McFly, hop in his Time Machine car

Go back in time and kick your mother in the gut til she miscarries
If Marty doesn't qualify for you, Van Damn Time Cop will sub. And I'd let him do a split kick to her gut

Then he'd break out in his version of the Xbox Shuffle

Problem solved

 

[Bud Bundy]

Vin Diesel.

 

[Food Mane]

I'm going driver. By now I know this goons aren't content with playing fair. They won't simply be handing over family when we win the race. It's going to be a brutal death match and I want a goon on my side for the inevitable endgame.

 

[Shaft]

Gotta go with Dominic Toretto. Nikka was basically Superman by the end of FF6.

 

[Ed MOTHERFUCKING G]

I'm going driver. By now I know this goons aren't content with playing fair. They won't simply be handing over family when we win the race. It's going to be a brutal death match and I want a goon on my side for the inevitable endgame.

I think toretto and especially BULLIT can handle it

 

[Capo Dei Capi]

GOAT threads I'm every time but also a little

Gotta go with my man Driver though, I trust him with my life nevermind my snot nosed b*stard kids.

Tell him keep my wife too I know they probably ran through her, and she started to enjoy it. My man H@LLOW knows a Columbian princess that will do anything with me for marriage, I'm sure she'll be faithful

 

[Mr. Somebody]

I think its time to reevaluate my skills as a father. My wife must really love me because i keep saving her from kidnappers

 

[EarlyMaridia]

Race to the death? Racer X has guns attached to his ride and is a secret agent. Them dudes are getting that work and coming up off of the kids and the wife.

X only lost his races, by allowing Speed to win them. He was in it to take out the fukkboys fukking with his family.

 

[Jax]

Love these threads

shouldn't have messed with my babies

 

[storyteller]

What's the name of the driver in the game Spyhunter...that car would be hella useful in this.