....and headbutting a hornets nest. Turkey bacon is shyt food. Flat. Tastes like shyt, looks like shyt, is shyt for you.....all around shyt. Turkey isn't meant to be bacon you stupid ass nikkas....wanna know how they make it so? With a shyt ton of salt and preservatives, even more so than the worst jerky. Real PORK bacon is wayyy healthier than that shyt. Y'all nikkas being lied to by granola and hummus eating spin class to john mayer attending yaris driving cacs and buying it. Anyone who eats turkey bacon is a c00n. Eat fake CAC bacon brehs 
I'm seriously thinking about going back to meat bruhs....this vegan shyt was cool for awhile...but goddamn do I miss SWINE. I miss them fat slabs of ham grandmama be cookin' for thanksgiving...I miss that real bacon with the extra olive colored looking fat, neatly pressed up against them golden brown biscuits...
It's hard bruhs, espeically in the chi when all these burger places hiroshima the shyt out of them veggie places by a goddamn star trek.