I always sing Shai's "If I Ever Fall In Love" to my breakfast consisting of 3 slices of avocado, 2 tablespoons of caviar, 2 lightly toasted croissants topped with garlic butter, a fresh persimmon, and a hot cup of Kopi Luwak.
I also spread a monogrammed handkerchief woven from the finest of Sea Island cotton on my lap.
By noon I produce turds that are so nutrient enriched, your grandmama would have prize roses blooming in her garden if I blessed it with my fecal byproducts.
I'm a classy type mu'fukka. I can dig it.
