Bowser's been schooling us on #GMB all along :ohhh:

[Days of Future Piff]

It makes sense that he's always after the Princess-- somewhere, a bunch of turtle-shelled harlots are probably bleeding him dry financially like he's Nas.
My dude needs that ransom money from the Princess to play his bills and child support, y'all

Them castles and airships ain't free, breh

Why y'all think they ain't never told us the identity of his kids' moms for over 30 years? These she-koopas ain't loyal, and you know all of them kids ain't his

See how they've all got different colored shells, their faces are different, some of 'em got lazy eyes like Forrest Whittaker...

What Bowser needs to do is hit up Dr. Mario for those DNA tests so he can expose those reptilian succubi for gouging him on CS.

Can't my mans get a little bit of justice?

 

[Another Man]

The coli

 

[Cuban Pete]

I KNOW that Black one in the top corner ain't his

Be a cuck turtle that gets stomped out by another cuck wop brehs

 

[Mensch Fontana]

Ionno breh hes raising 7 little b*stards that aint his

 

[Responsible Allen Iverson]

Aren't the Koopa Kids not actually his kids, and Peach is Bowser Jr.'s mom? And how do you explain this?

 

[KravenMorehead™]

That lil' nikkakoopa in the top right got half a black eye, he semi-c00nin

all up in the videos dancin

 

[MeachTheMonster]

He ain't trying to get ransom money. He's trying to get ransom p*ssy. Those turtle hoes must not be putting out

 

[Mr Rager]

Nah he just want to PAWG...quit dikk policing

 

[Cerebral Labyrinth]

Y'all haven't heard Morton? Sounds exactly like Fat Albert. That ain't Bowser's kid, it belongs to the Cosby's.

 

[Rekkapryde]

Nah he just want to PAWG...quit dikk policing

 

[DPresidential]

Nah he just want to PAWG...quit dikk policing

Princess isn't white... she's peach, you goofy.

Ignorance in the mushroom kingdom. Dr. Mario ain't march for this bullshyt.

 

[k5banga]

 

[Days of Future Piff]

But seriously, don't you ever wonder why y'all ain't heard from Wart in 30 years?

Dude could have been a prophet, he saw where the game was going with these alimony and cs laws...
So Wart knew well enough to fall back even when Princess was out here literally throwing that thang at him like

Wart Dave Chappelle'd the Nintendo world... dude came in, got his paper, and bounced before they could #metoo him.
He already knew...

Spoiler

Who am I kidding? Wart was probably on the DL with Birdo