ORDER_66
I am The Wrench in all your plans....
The open road. A two-seat cockpit. A sporty, rear-wheel drive layout. A powerful, thunderous V8 engine. These are all things the tow truck driver experienced as he hauled my new Aston Martin to the dealership on Saturday morning.
The #DougCar has already broken down. You’d know this if you followed me on Twitter, because I posted several pictures of the car being loaded on to a flatbed tow truck. And not only did it break down, but it left me stranded at 5th and Market Streets in Philadelphia—one block from Independence Hall, where our founding fathers signed the Declaration of Independence, freeing Americans from the overbearing tentacles of the British.
Maybe those guys had the right idea.
But before we get into the latest problem—namely, that my car sounded like a tropical bird in distress—let’s go back and cover the issues I was having last week: water leaking into the passenger side floor mat and a check engine light. As it turned out, the water was a simple fix that merely required un-clogging an air conditioning channel. But the check engine light alerted my dealership to a failed thermostat. A seven-hundred and thirty-eight dollar failed thermostat. The result is that my warranty had already paid for 20 percent of itself in the first week.
And that brings us to week two.
On Saturday afternoon, my friend Mark came over to check out the car and have lunch. This should’ve been a simple occurrence: first, we would drive the car. Then, we would eat pizza. My stomach was excited all morning.
An hour later, I was sitting in the passenger seat of his BMW Z4, driving behind a Triple-A tow truck over the Tacony-Palmyra Bridge into New Jersey. There would be no checking out the car. There wouldn’t even be pizza.
A few seconds after we left my garage, it became immediately clear something was very wrong. The car was making an almost unbelievable noise; a combination of metal-on-metal clanging and a high-pitched squealing noise in a vocal range traditionally reserved for dying animals and people on American Idol who cry when they aren’t chosen.
You can hear the sound in my latest video, because I recorded a clip before the car went on the flatbed. Unfortunately, I was unable to record the sound at higher speeds, when it was really loud, although I have provided a sufficient re-enactment in the video. You’re welcome.
what a waste of fukking money, and people wonder why I love american muscle... 
$738 thermostat repair?!?!
Goddamn...
Explain breh....
