Think I just got the Salvation Army Donations guy fired....merry XMAS :(

[maxamusa]

this is why I never give them salvation army dudes money

they doing the lords work

 

[Dameon Farrow]

I laughed though. A damn good read.

 

[BunchePark]

had to stop reading at the part where you said after a hard day of WORK you hopped in YO whip and fired up the blunt and the tunes simultaneously...Christmas tunes at that

MY nikka



now let me finish the story

 

[TEH]

OP is middle aged suburban O Dog

Causing trouble and calling it a good time

 

[The Guru]

Now he's going to need the salvation army this christmas

 

[maxamusa]

OP is middle aged suburban O Dog

Causing trouble and calling it a good time

HELL NAH THATS FUKKED UP

I'm like money making Mitch if he lived

 

[Sad Bunny]

Thoroughly entertaining

 

[Admiral Ackbar]

Lmaoooooo telling her the microwave is more her speed

You punish the naughty wife for not cooking tho?

 

[Vic Damone. Jr]

 

[Fill Collins]

Buy your shyt and go

 

[BunchePark]

the smell of weed really offends some people and I don't get it

getting all bent out of shape over a scent lol

gone judge me hoe!

 

[The Realist Perspective]

I'm at work and wifey hits me up to rap for a minute....says she's been naughty wife and got no plans for dinner tonite...

tell her no problem @maxamusa will pick something up to cook on the way home?
Now I got a reason to close shop; slow anyway. Hopped in the whip fired up a pre rolled and started pumping Christmas tunes. Now I'm feeling festive

See a little supermarket I don't go to often and decide this the spot to cop from.

I sit in the whip and listen to a couple more tunes and people watch then clip the J and make my move. In front of the store there is an old breh ringing the bell for Salvation Army donations. He got the Santa hat on and some funky kicks and its colder than a polar bear's tonails. I gave him a head nod he gives one back and wishes me a merry Christmas. I tell him I got him on my way out and rings the bell real musical and we both laugh.

I go up to the butcher counter and there's a little line. No problem. That George Michael Christmas song is playing on the intercom So I'm humming a long checking out all the meat behind the counter

This frumpy ass bytch is in front of me and is not ready for her order. Starts bullshytting with the butcher asking all types of dumb shyt. Guess she's hosting for the holidays and doesn't know what to cook or how TF to cook.

Butcher looking like but he got 2 keep it professional. This goes on for a whole other song and nothings even hit the scale yet. Now I'm frustrated and my high getting blown. I politely ask her if I could cut her; I just need 1 thing. This goofy ass bytch tells me "You have to wait your turn" and turns her back on me and continues to bombard the butcher with a bunch of dumb shyt. Butcher looks at me like sorry Breh We both not liking the vybe tho.

I then interrupt again and recommend she hits up the frozen section that the microwave might be more her speed and the butcher and now she look all embarrassed. I think ask him for a piece of flank and he hooks it up.

now she's talking shyt 2 me and I walk off to produce and start grabbing my sides.

Hit up the self checkout and start ringing everything up.....putting in a bunch of different produce codes than what I'm actually buying like I always do
Except I don't come here and don't know this....but their machines are smarter than my dumb ass.

Guess the thing figured out I'm not buying bananas over and over again. and signals an alarm to staff.
This pretty young thing starts coming over who's on watch for the checkout machines.

I'm mashing all the buttons to get out of it but its not letting me push thru. She got on some Jordan 3s so right when she pulls up I smile and compliment her kicks she smiles ear 2 ear and just throws the badge on the scanner and I'm clear.

We start bullshytting and she even starts bagging my shyt for me. Ms. Piggy from the meat counter is now waiting for my machine. go figure. I keep glancing over and she's grilling hot as hell. I decide ima be petty and now make her wait. Just talking about whatever to PYT. Get my change and bounce.

Bless Salvation Army breh on my way with some change and start bullshytting with him. He compliments my scent.....pause.....and I pull out the rest of my J and fire up some Christmas tree for him. Tis the season. He lets me hold the bell and I start ringing it while he's pulling on it and That same klump looking I cant cook hoe comes out and sees me and Army having a good time.

I asked her for a donation and she ignored me and I told her just cause she looks the grinch doesn't mean she gotta act like 1. SHE GOES OFF.


Starts screaming about how I'm a POS harassing her. Then starts shouting we doing drugs out here. ITS WEED BYTCH!

She then pushes her cart back toward the store entrance n says she's calling the cops and getting the manager. Now army breh looks all paranoid and shyt he's trying to cop pleas with her but she aint hearing it. and runs back inside. He's like @maxamusa WHAT WE GONNA DO!?!?!?

I gave him back his bell and told him to keep the J and quickly had to make my exit. I feel terrible now.


What the fukk happened to Christmas Spirit

I could tell from the first couple of sentences you partake in weed. That’s some high sentence structure for sure.

 

[jeh]

You wild breh

 

[Yehuda]

I told her just cause she looks the grinch doesn't mean she gotta act like 1

 

[TheJet]

This shyt is Larry David level hilarious

I just wanna know....was the lady white