Were you adopted?

[SeveroDrgnfli]

This thread won't do numbers. Hell, it may get no responses. But adoptees, we out here! If one person sees this thread, and they were adopted, I want them to know they are not alone. I have the same fears and insecurities as them.

People love to throw around "fatherless" as an insult. Its not fukking funny B, it really isn't.


I had no say in whether or not my parents kept me. I remember the police lying to me and basically kidnapping me. They told me they were taking me home from school. I ended up alone with some strangers. It's been that why my whole life. Me and strangers who are familiar with each other. It's a fascinating existence.

I can't remember what my mom looks or sounds like. I remember her having long braids. I can only remember the back of her head. I have no clue what my father looks like. I never saw him.

This may be too candid for the coli, but I'm doing this for the orphans of the world, that shyt hurts a lot family. It's hard to say out loud. I've refused to talk about it my entire life. But it's time to start talking.

With that being said, I'd like to use this thread as a platform to answer questions about adoption and connect with other people who have experienced what it's like to be a ward of the state.

Edit: if you're shy send your questions to my inbox and I'll answer them here and keep you anonymous.

 

[No Sleep]

Did you have foster parents or adopted parents? You ever think you may want to find your real parents?

 

[Saiyajin]

being an orphan is an honor if you only knew

"And as for man, when his Lord tries him, then treats him with honor and makes him lead an easy life, he says: My Lord honors me. But when He tries him (differently), then straitens to him his means of subsistence, he says: My Lord has disgraced me. Nay! But you do not honor the orphan. Nor do you urge one another to feed the poor…" (89:15-18)

 

[SeveroDrgnfli]

being an orphan is an honor if you only knew

Thanks a lot family. This means a lot to me. Orphans get shyt on a lot. It's nice to know God cares. The older I get the closer to God I feel. Since I was a kid I've felt a presence protecting and guiding me. I figured it was my gut instinct to survive, but I know now it's God.

I know it's not me because my brain doesn't agree with that presence and when I'm on some evil shyt it goes away.

Did you have foster parents or adopted parents? You ever think you may want to find your real parents?

A) I was in multiple foster homes. B) I had multiple foster parents. C) I was adopted. D) when I was a child I had no interest in finding my BP (Biological parents) because I thought they chose to give me up so they didn't want me. I wasn't going where I wasn't wanted no matter what. I'm 26 now. I'd like to find my BP. The woman who raised me has always encouraged me to find them. I tried when I was teenager.

It's hella hard. All I know is the address of my BP and my BM's name. When I was adopted I remember they changed my SS# and legal last name. They even reprinted a birth certificate with my adoptive mom's name. I remember the judge asking me what middle name I wanted. Lol I loved The Black Ranger so I chose his name, Zach. My brother chose his favorite wrestlers last name, Michaels, after Sean Michaels. My brother's name is Sean Michaels Ill FC. It's kind of funny.

 

[SeveroDrgnfli]

Since @Ol' Otis got me in my feelings thinking about my child hood.

 

[SeveroDrgnfli]

People tell me I'm crazy to want kids, believe in love, and believe in marriage. Maybe I am, but I know being "raised" without those things affected me very deeply. More than I'll ever know. I realize it the older I get.

I view all kids as my kids. And if my time or attention can keep them from feeling unsupported and disconnected I'm happy. I still don't know who the fukk I am. I'm a collection of accomplishments. I'm smart. I'm athletic. I'm charming. I learned to be those things.

I don't know if I have intelligent genes. Or athletic ones. I don't fukking know. I have no structure. No rails to ride. So I did whatever I wanted.

I see these kids who just take their parents dreams and live them. They know who they are. Where they come from. And they roll with it.

I had to make myself. I'm still making myself. My mom loves me but she's not really my mom. My family really isn't my family. So of course I rebelled against them. Why would I give my life to people I have no connection with?

They may not think they treat me differently, but they do. And I've always noticed it.

Sometimes I feel like I'm a figment of my own imagination. Its cool because I'm really my own man. It's scary too though because I'm really on my own in this bytch.

I don't go visit family on holidays. I lie to people about it when they ask me. I don't have baby photos. I don't know what I looked like up until the age of like maybe 9. I don't have pictures in my house of my life. I don't have child hood toys, friends, or trinkets.

I have lots of scars on my body from my child hood though. Sometimes it grosses people out. I have over 16 scars from head to toe.

I'll lay in bed with girls and they'll ask me about my scars. It's hard to explain how I got them all. I think back and it's because nobody was watching me as a kid. I'd hurt myself and the injuries would heal on their own. So again, I just make something up that sound normal.

 

[ManxOfxThexYear]

My older brother was given up for adoption, definitely turned out better then me and sister.

 

[SeveroDrgnfli]

My older brother was given up for adoption, definitely turned out better then me and sister.

Wow, fascinating.

I was in the system. I was in foster homes. My brother was in group homes. It's different from being giving to a family. I would be rented out to families to see if they liked me for a weekend or sometimes a week.

I learned to not get attached to people because they act like they like you and walk out with somebody else and not even look at you on their way out.

I met a lot of nice families. Sometimes they had kids and the kids didn't like me so it didn't work out. TBH, I know the only reason they let a single mom adopt two boys is because my brother is very fukking crazy and they wouldn't let us get split up because they knew he wouldn't get adopted on his own.

That's not just how I feel either. I've read the case file on my adoption many times. Families wanted just me but my bytch ass social worker who I never liked denied the adoptions.

It's no surprise my mom favors my brother. I always imagine what my life would have been like if a family that wanted me got me.

Funny thing is he's my half brother. And we hate each other like Kane and Abel. He's been an anchor to my life my whole life. I still take care of his bum ass. And I have to take care of my mom because he made her crazy and now her health is going south.

 

[ManxOfxThexYear]

Wow, fascinating.

I was in the system. I was in foster homes. My brother was in group homes. It's different from being giving to a family. I would be rented out to families to see if they liked me for a weekend or sometimes a week.

I learned to not get attached to people because they act like they like you and walk out with somebody else and not even look at you on their way out.

I met a lot of nice families. Sometimes they had kids and the kids didn't like me so it didn't work out. TBH, I know the only reason they let a single mom adopt two boys is because my brother is very fukking crazy and they wouldn't let us get split up because they knew he wouldn't get adopted on his own.

That's not just how I feel either. I've read the case file on my adoption many times. Families wanted just me but my bytch ass social worker who I never liked denied the adoptions.

It's no surprise my mom favors my brother. I always imagine what my life would have been like if a family that wanted me got me.

Funny thing is he's my half brother. And we hate each other like Kane and Abel. He's been an anchor to my life my whole life. I still take care of his bum ass. And I have to take care of my mom because he made her crazy and now her health is going south.

Well to elaborate more.

My mom had my sister first in college, I think, now who the father of my brother is in question cause it definitely was not the same guy as my sister, but according to my dad, it was a guy who raped my mom in college.

My moms got pregnant, she couldn't handle having 2 kids in college, so she decided on adoption with a catholic family. Closed adoption, too. When my mom was going into labor, my grandma and grandpa were calling the hospital trying to get ahold of her never could and he was placed with a family.

Fast forward 10 years, I was born to my moms and pops. So fast forward until the age of 13, my mom and sister got hella wasted and decided that was the time to tell me I had a older brother. Then to tell me about my younger brother who was still born. It felt like a dream, cause I wasn't sure what to think. So I never gave it much thought cause they were drunk and moved on with my life.

Then around 2006, I was like 23, my mom called me happy and crying, saying they found my brother. Then it kinda hit me. So how he ended up getting in contact us was through his adopted mom. My moms side has a unique last name in New Mexico, a kind of name, where if they got that name, were all related. So his moms ended up working with my cousin's wife at a hospital. She asked her if she knew my mom and she was like yeah, that's my husbands aunt. So she told my brother, and him and his mom and dad ended up meeting with my cousin and his fam. Then a few months later, he met all of us.

Now, he was married and works as a audio engineer, he works for UNM and also contracts for big name concerts too. He did a T.I. concert for one of his first shows after prison and was in an audio magazine for it. He did Ozzfest for a few years, Slayer and some Country artists. His tour stories were

Like we are kind close, but he met us and doesn't really associate with us and for my mom that's the hardest thing to understand for her to comprehend, but if push came to shove, we know we can call on each other and that works for me.

 

[SeveroDrgnfli]

we know we can call on each other and that works for me.

Thats awesome. I'd like to find my sister. I have a little sister. I don't know where she is or where to start looking.

I hope she's okay.

 

[Boujee Bonita Braxton]

Good thread, Breh.

I hope anyone with similar life experiences as you come forward and share their stories too.

 

[ManxOfxThexYear]

Thats awesome. I'd like to find my sister. I have a little sister. I don't know where she is or where to start looking.

I hope she's okay.

My brother spent years looking for us and once he found out that my mom kept my sister, he was even more pissed

But not sure if you wanna go this route

Spoiler

but he is hella tech savy and hacked into public system to find out about us, just an idea

 

[SeveroDrgnfli]

My brother spent years looking for us and once he found out that my mom kept my sister, he was even more pissed

But not sure if you wanna go this route

Spoiler

but he is hella tech savy and hacked into public system to find out about us, just an idea

I feel like I'm better as am I. I just want to start my own family and give it all I got. I can't change the past. But I can mold my future.

For example the girl I'm talking to right now is nurturing and healthy. She's hard working. And sexy as fukk. She's a little crazy, so am I though. I could see us together for a while.

 

[ManxOfxThexYear]

I feel like I'm better as am I. I just want to start my own family and give it all I got. I can't change the past. But I can mold my future.

For example the girl I'm talking to right now is nurturing and healthy. She's hard working. And sexy as fukk. She's a little crazy, so am I though. I could see us together for a while.

Good Luck breh with everything