30+ Brehs… What’s up with these old chicks wanting babies?

[Remy LeBreh]

People have to learn and accept that it's ok not to have children, or even want to have children
A lot of women really don't want to until that societal pressure kicks in as they hit their mid 30s.

 

[beenz]

Nahhhh lil bih, you played around until you’re 35 and now you’re telling me you want KIDS… AFTER MARRIAGE

man I encountered a 41 year old a couple weeks ago talkin bout she wanted to have a kid, and I was like and told her absolutely not. not my fault she waited too long. I got damn near fully grown kids, so I'm not on that starting all over with a newborn bullshyt.

 

[Easy-E]

No one is trying to make anything the same, it’s HER child, y’all say y’all don’t even date women past a certain age so why are you shaming those women for waiting until they have a stable life to have kids??? It’s like y’all want alllll women to live how YOU want them to live whether you want them or not. How is 40 year old woman not on your radar but you’re mad that she wants kids but you’ll also judge her for saying she doesn’t want kids.

 

[beenz]

People have to learn and accept that it's ok not to have children, or even want to have children
A lot of women really don't want to until that societal pressure kicks in as they hit their mid 30s.

I think a lot of these older broads feel validated by having a kid. should have done that a lot earlier, cuz I ain't the one.

 

[BaldingSoHard]

So a woman shouldnt have a dream career because men dont value it? What if she’s always wanted to be a lawyer or a doctor, she shouldn’t do it because men don’t care about it? She should just have kids and forget about it or coli males will judge her?


I’m just trying to understand the issue of woman having a career then having her kids so she can help take care of them financially, don’t y’all hate women that are financially dependent on men? Or is it okay in this thread and a problem in others?

I personally do and I would never even fathom marrying a woman who didn't have her own career / money.

But I've been told endlessly that I'm wrong and that my decision will lead me to a woman who is "not submissive" and that's, apparently, not what I'm supposed to want.

 

[beenz]

It’s an epidemic.

I matched with a chick on one of the dating apps the other day. She was 42 and had a 1yr old. I just shook my head...

A chick who has had kids after about 33-35 is a hard pass for me as I get older. You want to be living a life with just you and your lady when you hit your late 40s early 50s...not spending that precious time still dealing with kids at the house.

It’s a big difference in your peace.

EDIT: some men legit love raising kids tho so there are men for all types. Most men get older and want to be easing into the last half of life.

man, I'm 43. I'm not trying to date a broad my age with a toddler. now if she was like 28, that's a whole different story.

 

[QuintessentialMan]

You already know how we do it in the Motherland.
Toxic overload. 25 year old women get shamed if they dont already have a man AND a child.
30+?????? You failed in life and society will remind you everyday. Even super rich single women. Society be like.......but what is wrong with her? why isnt she marrried?

 

[King Poetic]

I only deal with black women, so one of the issue is this

yeah white girls and Asian women get tossed around and get trained on but by their senior year of college it’s time to find Jared and Brad and start having kids before 30

many sisters are taught get your degree and get your career and house and at 33 /35 years old they start wanting a family and FOR MANY OF THEM PROFESSIONAL SISTERS ITS TOO LATE, Because many quality brothers find their woman and started a family

 

[Wild self]

You already know how we do it in the Motherland.
Toxic overload. 25 year old women get shamed if they dont already have a man AND a child.
30+?????? You failed in life and society will remind you everyday. Even super rich single women. Society be like.......but what is wrong with her? why isnt she marrried?

Cause its easier to get a house in The Motherland as a young dude under 25, compared to the states.

Extreme Housing prices and cost of living in America single handily crippled population growth in its entirety.

 

[The Wall Is Undefeated!]

You know what it is. They saying that these women spent their entire 20s being smutted out by thugs and once they hit their 30s they wanna settle down and have kids

Because there's some truth to it.

 

[NobodyReally]

You already know how we do it in the Motherland.
Toxic overload. 25 year old women get shamed if they dont already have a man AND a child.
30+?????? You failed in life and society will remind you everyday. Even super rich single women. Society be like.......but what is wrong with her? why isnt she marrried?

What's fukked up is a married woman in that kind of society will get props even if her husband is beating her or cheating on her. But as long as she stays married, she's a winner. fukk that shyt. Being married is not the prize. Being healthy and happy is the prize, and if that includes a great loving marriage and healthy kids awesome, but if someone has to allow themselves to be shytted on or even in a loveless marriage to a nice guy to avoid a stigma, I'll take the stigma any day.

 

[The Wall Is Undefeated!]

Find a dependable man when you’re 22-25. Preferably one that’s 27-28. Get married. Have kids. How hard is that?

Watch 'em make excuses for this perfectly reasonable statement.

 

[Deep_Black_Conscious]

Nahhhh lil bih, you played around until you’re 35 and now you’re telling me you want KIDS… AFTER MARRIAGE

don't do it
you're entering your prime while they're leaving theirs
basically telling you you're a means to an end

 

[BmoreGorilla]

Because there's some truth to it.

There’s only some truth to it if it’s that particular woman’s truth

 

[NobodyReally]

Find a dependable man when you’re 22-25. Preferably one that’s 27-28. Get married. Have kids. How hard is that?

Watch 'em make excuses for this perfectly reasonable statement.

Should anyone build a life around someone just because they are dependable? Is that all there is? There are too many people in loveless marriages. Like why? Do you have to live like that because someone is telling you that's simply what people do. It's a sad existence. You can build community, find love and support in many ways that don't involve marriage.

At the end of the day, this discussion is about attaching more value people based on their marital status. It's archaic for both men and women, and I think the paradigm is shifting. People can and do have value outside of that. There's nothing wrong with marriage or children, but that's not the only choice we have any more. We have examples of people who are leading fulfilling and unfilling lives in both camps. I don't understand why people care so much about what other people choose to do, especially when the decisions are so personal and have such lasting consequences.