50 Cent's Attorney He's Gotta Flash Cash ... "Rap Fans Are Poor"

theworldismine13

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funny article

50 Cent resorts to showing off fake money on Instagram
50 Cent resorts to showing off fake money on Instagram

Oh, how the mighty have fallen



Eight years ago this summer, 50 Cent and Kanye West faced off in an epic battle based around the fact that their albums that year ended up coming out on the same day, 9/11/07, the six-year anniversary of the attacks on the World Trade Center and also the release of Jay Z's the Blueprint.

If it produced any good music at all, it would have been one of the all-time great rap battles, right up there with BDP vs. the Juice Crew. As it was, I'm sure the TIs made a lot of money from it. Complex still runs retrospective articles on it, on occasion.

Upwards of a decade after the fact, you'd think this Fiddy and Kanye would be amongst the most financially successful people in hip-hop, if not as popular as they once were . . . and you'd be sadly mistaken.

We already know about Kanye's money problems, from a million an one articles that ran a few weeks ago, surrounding the release of the Life of Pablum, including one or two here and in Life in a Shanty Town. Supposedly, he's $53 million in "personal debt," and he tried to talk Mark Zuckerberg—in all sincerity, I'm sure—into investing in his various creative ventures rather than trying to save the motherland, which I hear is suffering beyond belief.

After she embarrassed the family by posting that nude pic, Kim Kardashian said she was depositing $53 million into their joint account, from the hundreds of millions of dollars she's made from her video game. We know Kanye is jealous of the game's success, because he once went on Twitter and criticized it for the way it apparently tricks kids into entering in their parents' credit card numbers. The FCC might want to look into that. If a black child were to fukk up her parents' credit like that, she might end up on Craigslist.

We can never really know if any of this is true, without being privy to their financial information. (So far they've yet to respond to my requests for copies of their tax returns, so my forensic accounting staff—which is Asian—can go over them.) I don't have a hard time believing that Kanye hasn't made nearly as much money as you'd think over the course of his career, with his expensive tours and videos, much of which he's paid for out of his own pocket, his failed clothing lines and what have you, but would Kim Kardashian really give him $53 million to pay his bills.

A black woman wouldn't give her husband $53 million to pay his bills even if she had Oprah money, not because black women aren't supportive of their men—a lot of brothers ride around in their girlfriends' cars while their at work, supposedly looking for a job—but because it's not in a black person's nature to give someone else some money just so they can go cut a check to some CACs. White people don't really need that money, or else you'd already be in jail right now. Kim Kardashian isn't black, but I feel like she's been with enough black men to be aware of things like putting your light bill in your child's names. She's developing black tendencies.

50 Cent is black tendencies incarnate. The other day, a judge saw where he'd posted a picture of shedloads of bundles of 100-dollar bills, spelling out the work broke, and hauled his ass into court. Fiddy claimed to not have any money when he filed for bankruptcy last year, and so the judge wanted to know how in TF he had all of those bundles of hunneds.

If he'd claimed that it really was his money, the judge may have forced him to fork it over, to pay some of his many creditors. Instead, Fiddy said that the money was fake. He said it's common in hip-hop for people to pose for pictures with fake money, fake jewelry, cars and cribs they don't really own, so on and so forth—all of which is true, actually. The show MTV Cribs was built on rappers renting houses for a day to show off as if they were really receiving millions of dollars in royalty checks from these labels.

Whether 50 Cent's money was fake would be hard to say without holding it up to the light to see if you can see that little blue strip, as I was taught to do in the drive-thru at White Castle. As far back as the 1990s, a decent-quality printer you could cop from a CompUSA (where I got my VCR) was good enough to make somewhat convincing counterfeit bills. Money has since been changed, to make it harder to counterfeit, but printers have gotten better too. There's now a printer ISIS can use to print off an actual working gun—I saw that shyt of Vice! Printing off fake money ought to be nothing, right?

According to the government, which has been known to lie (e.g. COINTELPRO; Hillary Clinton), it's difficult to make fake money, and only some tiny percentage of the money supply is fake. But according to people who actually make fake money, the percentage is way higher. They aren't even sure how much of our money is fake, let alone the government. Supposedly, the good fake shyt is indistinguishable from the real deal, to the point where you could have a pocket full of it and U.O.E.N.O. You could take it to a store or a bank, and they wouldn't be able to tell either. It is real money, "for all intensive purposes."

I read in an actual newspaper that 50 Cent has since been contacted by the Secret Service, wanting to know where he got that fake money, but the source they were citing was . . . 50 Cent's Instagram. The same one he already swore in court that he uses to mislead people. Of course he's gonna claim he was contacted by the Secret Service. That makes it sound like he's out here committing a crime, which is just as important in hip-hop, for marketing purposes, as pretending to have a lot of money. It also helps corroborate the claim made in court, that the money wasn't really real.

But here's the thing. If the money really is fake, as he said in court, shouldn't he be arrested for possession of counterfeit money? If the Secret Service determined that the money wasn't counterfeit, that means he lied in court, which is also a crime. I believe it's called "contempt of court." (I was pre-med.) He could end up getting in trouble behind this, in addition to having lost all of his money, and I'm sure this will only invite more scrutiny into his finances. If he was hiding assets, the court might find them now. I might volunteer the services of my forensic accounting team.

You get the sense that 50 Cent really is sweating this. The picture of the supposedly fake money has been deleted from his Instagram, and he's since announced that he won't be doing his own Instagram posts anymore. Because he hasn't been known for anything other than using Instagram for the past few years, I'm not sure where this leaves him.
 

HabitualLineSteppa

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That disrespect...:wow: 50 been corny ever since "Piggy Bank" dropped. The jig been up...Dude went full c00n by way of a lawyer JUST so he can THINK he's outsmarted the system, get a judgement for less than what he's got on deck, and then THINK he can flick once again unabated on some "double jeopardy" shyt even tho that logic doesn't apply when it comes to financial matters...Didn't think that nikkardtry would catch up, huh? Classic case of actin like a nygga who ain't never had shyt....He's been carrying on for over a decade now...

Dude went full DUMBASS with this move....And he's pronounced himself as an absolute ENEMY to ANYBODY who is/has rooted for him...More specifically, black men ONLY cause he allowed his lawyer to spew that, "poor" rhetoric KNOWING DAMN WELL in the media, poor=black...and a couple of latino immigrants and under achieveing whites (all false and stereotypical asf)...

Fukk outta here...He deserves to be Vin Baker at this point financially...Word life...

Nyggas be actin like OJ ain't get that work...As if Mike Jack's legacy ain't being compromised as we speak (mark my words, that family gon be poor in the next 50 years unless they educate their own to hold it down), like cats aren't having mental and financial meltdowns every few months...

*end rant*
 

Deutsche Bank

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Rappers are broke as fukk too. Back in the Nineties, (some) dudes were really getting money. You could tell cause they had real estate and businesses you didn't even hear about, because that's how money-getting nikkas and crackers do. Cause they ain't insecure about their financial situation. They were bankrolling shyt.
 

CodeBlaMeVi

I love not to know so I can know more...
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When it couldn't get worse, it does. 50 needs to move the fukk out the country.
 

The Devil's Advocate

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Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven
go to any hip hop club in america and watch the crowd

you'll see them rap those words, while holding up rent money, flossing fake watches and jewels, busting off imaginary guns, pointing to imaginary hoes they ain't fukking, spending hundreds and thousands on bottles and tables... all trying to be what??

that rich rapper they wanna be/want to know/want to fukk/want to hang with


nikkas taking 2 hour flights, with 4 nikkas, and getting 1 shot on the plane to NC for some celeb weekend, while posting lyrics about jet setting on a g5 with bytches and bottles and posting it on IG


and y'all really think that statement wasn't true :martin:
 
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