7 Things I Can Do That My Black Son Can’t

Vonte3000

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https://www.yahoo.com/parenting/7-things-i-can-do-that-my-black-son-cant-99408985077.html

In the days after the Michael Brown shooting, I wrote an essay titled “I Hope My Son Stays White,” detailing my fears about what might happen to my biracial three-year-old son if he grows up to have dark skin. The upshot: America, to its shame, is still a place where black males are feared, and I don’t want that fear to turn itself on my son in a way that leads to his arrest or death.

I published the piece on Ebony.com, and the reactions from black readers ranged from “sad but true” to allegations that I myself was engaging in the very racism and colorism that I was decrying. But buried among these was a comment from a white reader who accused me of “sucking up to black folk” and then went on to list the supposed advantages of being black in America. (Apparently, according to this reader, my son will have an unearned fast track to a career as an air traffic controller. Um, okay?)

I can’t help but think that, if the essay had been published in an outlet with a larger white readership, many more commenters would have chimed in to deny the continued existence of racism. In my experience, white people (and straight people, and male people, and Christian people — all groups of which I’m a member) tend to dismiss the notion that we’re privileged. It’s an uncomfortable thing to acknowledge that you’re the recipient of unfair benefits, especially when those benefits are often nearly invisible to those who receive them.

But when you’re a parent, those privileges stop being invisible. It’s the reason why male congressmen with daughters are more likely to support women’s issues. It’s the reason why Ohio Sen. Rob Portman suddenly declared his support for same-sex marriage after his son came out as gay. And it’s the reason why, everywhere I look, I see hassles that my son will have to face that I don’t. Here’s a partial list of things I can take for granted, but which will likely be problematic for my son:

1. I Can Walk Through a Store Without Being Followed

To take one high-profile instance, Macy’s and the city of New York recently settled with actor Robert Brown, who was handcuffed, humiliated, and accused of committing credit card fraud after buying an expensive watch at the store.

I never have to worry about this happening to me.

2. I Can Succeed Without It Being Attributed to My Race

When my wife, who is black, received her acceptance letter from Boston College, a peer told her she must have gotten in due to affirmative action, effectively ruining the experience of receiving the letter.

When I succeed, people assume I’ve earned it.

3. I Learned About My Ancestors’ History in School

I can tell you all about Louis XIV, Socrates, and the Magna Carta, but I always wondered when we would finally learn about African history (beyond Pharaohs and pyramids). The subject never came up.

4. I Can Lose My Temper in Traffic

Once, an acquaintance who got into a confrontation while driving told me how scared she was of the other driver, describing him as a “big black guy.” When I get heated, no one attributes it to my race.

5. I Can Loiter in Wealthy Neighborhoods

No one has ever called the cops on me to report a “suspicious person.” My wife can’t say the same.

6. I Can Complain About Racism

When I point out that black people are incarcerated at alarming rates, or largely forced to send their children to underperforming schools, or face systemic discrimination when searching for jobs and housing, no one accuses me of “playing the race card.”

7. I Can Count on Being Met on My Own Terms

If I’m being treated poorly, I don’t stop and think about whether it’s due to my race. But unless we somehow make a giant leap forward, my son will always have to wonder.

Recently, I became a father for the second time. My daughter, only three months old, will grow up to face many of the same challenges as my son, on top of the extra ones that come with being a woman: the struggle for equal pay, the catcalling, the constant threat of sexual assault.

I don’t want to give my children a complex about all of this, but I can’t wish these problems away, either. I can’t eliminate all the unfair hurdles that exist in the world. I can only do my best to raise kids who are able to jump over them.
 

Trajan

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3. I Learned About My Ancestors’ History in School

I can tell you all about Louis XIV, Socrates, and the Magna Carta, but I always wondered when we would finally learn about African history (beyond Pharaohs and pyramids). The subject never came up.

Hahahahahaha @ this lowkey brag

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That always kills me when white people in America claim all achievements by Europeans under the guise of being ''white''. Unless you have Greek ancestry stop claiming Socrates and vice versa for Louis XIV.

The funny thing is, that shyt doesn't fly over here in Europe because all the different countries would be too embarrassed/proud to do that. You would NEVER get a German trying to associate themselves with the Magna Carta for example.

But in America...whiteness appears to have become it's own nationality. You have Polish nikkas whose great-grandparents were serfs talking about Adam Smith and ''their'' heritage.

I realise this is a slight deviation from the topic but it's just a trend I noticed.
 

GetInTheTruck

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Hahahahahaha @ this lowkey brag

ampffo.jpg



That always kills me when white people in America claim all achievements by Europeans under the guise of being ''white''. Unless you have Greek ancestry stop claiming Socrates and vice versa for Louis XIV.

The funny thing is, that shyt doesn't fly over here in Europe because all the different countries would be too embarrassed/proud to do that. You would NEVER get a German trying to associate themselves with the Magna Carta for example.

But in America...whiteness appears to have become it's own nationality. You have Polish nikkas whose great-grandparents were serfs talking about Adam Smith and ''their'' heritage.

I realise this is a slight deviation from the topic but it's just a trend I noticed.

I don't really see this amongst american whites though. Italians rep italy, Greeks rep Greece, Poles rep Poland, etc;
 

blackzeus

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Hahahahahaha @ this lowkey brag

ampffo.jpg



That always kills me when white people in America claim all achievements by Europeans under the guise of being ''white''. Unless you have Greek ancestry stop claiming Socrates and vice versa for Louis XIV.

The funny thing is, that shyt doesn't fly over here in Europe because all the different countries would be too embarrassed/proud to do that. You would NEVER get a German trying to associate themselves with the Magna Carta for example.

But in America...whiteness appears to have become it's own nationality. You have Polish nikkas whose great-grandparents were serfs talking about Adam Smith and ''their'' heritage.

I realise this is a slight deviation from the topic but it's just a trend I noticed.

Nikkaz parents were Romanian gypsy serfs and sh*t and he tryin' to brag about having Greek, French, German, and British ancestry at the same time, this CAC is worse than those "we used to be kings" negroes :heh: This cac talkin' about Louis the XIV is his history :dead: Bet he won't claim that French Revolution though :mjpls:
 

Trajan

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I don't really see this amongst american whites though. Italians rep italy, Greeks rep Greece, Poles rep Poland, etc;

Really?

Whites in America don't claim all achievements by Europeans?

Maybe because I'm on the outside looking and so may have the wrong end of the stick...but I have noticed on many occasions dudes with Irish or Polish surnames bragging about Ancient Greece when talking about their heritage or general bragging.
 

GetInTheTruck

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Really?

Whites in America don't claim all achievements by Europeans?

Maybe because I'm on the outside looking and so may have the wrong end of the stick...but I have noticed on many occasions dudes with Irish or Polish surnames bragging about Ancient Greece when talking about their heritage or general bragging.

I've personally never seen that. All the irish people I've met rep Irish...an Irishman reppping Greek stuff is bizzaro land shyt to me.
 

valet

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**Looks at his son's hair texture.**

yep, he's right.
 

jilla82

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Really?

Whites in America don't claim all achievements by Europeans?

Maybe because I'm on the outside looking and so may have the wrong end of the stick...but I have noticed on many occasions dudes with Irish or Polish surnames bragging about Ancient Greece when talking about their heritage or general bragging.
honestly...most people dont give a damn, or talk about that shyt. The auther played himself w/ that..because he just showed how he views being white as great (based on his dumb ass generalization of European history).
Dude in the OP is just on some mother hen shyt...making a big deal out of minor happenings.
He's basing his whole article from a bogus reaction from a few people (i.e. "the lady told my wife it was because she's black").

People that feel sorry for themselves need to go take a nap.
If he had a daughter he would be crying about Feminism and gender roles.
 

theworldismine13

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I don't really see this amongst american whites though. Italians rep italy, Greeks rep Greece, Poles rep Poland, etc;

thats cuz you're in NYC, where immigrant pride tends to hold on longer, and being "regular white" is seen as boring, that is why deblasio change his name to deblasio

but outside of the big city bubble in middle america you do see all types of white claiming shyt, biggest examples is ron paul whose parents were german and o reilly who is irish catholic, 2 groups that where shytted on by americans and for the longest werent even considered american but they walk around TV laying claim to anglo saxon protestant history

i dont think this is a bad thing tho, i think this is good in the end, i think thats a good thing about america
 

Trajan

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honestly...most people dont give a damn, or talk about that shyt. The auther played himself w/ that..because he just showed how he views being white as great (based on his dumb ass generalization of European history).
Dude in the OP is just on some mother hen shyt...making a big deal out of minor happenings.
He's basing his whole article from a bogus reaction from a few people (i.e. "the lady told my wife it was because she's black").

People that feel sorry for themselves need to go take a nap.
If he had a daughter he would be crying about Feminism and gender roles.


Feel me?

He could easily have said ''We learn about White history'' and then list them or ''European achievements''

But no....breh was like ''My ancestors' history'' and named historical figures/events from several European countries.
 

jilla82

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So in this thread I learnt that white Americans ancestors of Europeans decent have no relation to white Americans ..
people are pointing out that all white people share the same history.
Greek history does not equal French history.

Besides...most white people in the U.S. are a mixture of European decents...there is nothing European about them. They are American, not 30% French/25% Dutch/15% Spanish etc...
Whenever I hear someone start w/ that bullshyt I just tell them to stop it.
 
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