70% of Men Under 34 Are NOT Married – Because They Have SENSE

[yardman]

Logic without faith in your decision only leaves regret. And how can faith in yourself fukk you over?

Faith in yourself isn't enough in a relationship. Plus the context this thread is that of marriage. A relationship is two or more people. So you have to invest some degree of faith in a another person. And my point is that going into a relationship purely off of faith is how you get fukked over. So in a relationship logic should rule and fuel decisions.

 

[IAmGettingAMailOrderBride]

i plan on getting my mail order bride at 28

- blackierobinson

 

[NoChillJones]

Faith in yourself isn't enough in a relationship. Plus the context this thread is that of marriage. A relationship is two or more people. So you have to invest some degree of faith in a another person. And my point is that going into a relationship purely off of faith is how you get fukked over. So in a relationship logic should rule and fuel decisions.

My point is you shouldnt wait until things are perfect. Because perfection never comes. You step out on faith thatthings will be okay. You put faith in yourself amd partner that both of you will make it. If you dont have faith in yourself ir your partner narriage shouldnt be on the table anyway. Alot of people put off kids because they are scared of the unknown. What if they get sick, what if they lose thier jobs, what if they cant provide. And thats natural. Butat some point you have to come to a point in which you say it doesnt matter what life throws at me or us we will be alright. In that you are putting faith in yourself that you will not fail no matter what. Thats all Im saying.

I proposed in year 2 and we did not get married until year 7. I stepped out on faith with my proposal but took time to know exactly who I would be spending my life with. So we both took that leap together. And this is our 10th year.

 

[:-)]

I love the fact that going towards the end of the article it states that this can apply to women as well. In the middle of reading this I got a message from one of my best girl friends stating that folks are pressuring her to find a husband, but her mentality is that of the men that think this way in this article and so am I. As much as I complain about not having options I too feel as though I am not where I'm at in order to be married. I have so many priorities right now and the thought of entertaining a husband let alone children brings my anxiety into overdrive.
There is too much I want to accomplish and having a man breathing down my damn neck is just gonna make me punch him in the face and tell him to . Men take your time! My pops told me the same thing and I'm telling you that. Your wife will come! Stack ya paper the way we are! Nothing wrong with that! I hate it when older folks pull my mom to the side (right behind me in the mall, folks that she knows...) and tell her "you need to find that daughter of yours a husband all she talks about is wanting to do this and that. My mom, my poor old school mama, just giggles. Hell whenever we're out and about she'll go "ooh that man is looking at you" and I look and he's looking at me like , or , or even worse! - . She'll see me give her the look and go "I'm just playin!" Yes but the playing is annoying! Men have standards and goals just like we do. As much as I want to be a mom I don't want my children and grandchildren to struggle. I want to create legacy and wealth and businesses to pass down. Hell I want 100 years from now, for my family to have that "old money", that "Vince McMahon/Rockerfeller/Mansa Musa type of money" along with connections and a network to get by on and grow with/from.

Again love the article! Straight up truth!

 

[KingFreeman]

Does anyone take into account educated college brehs at universities (non-hbcu) where the majority of brehs/brehettes know each other on a first name basis and go to the same parties/events, etc? There's ALOT of overlap in that type of environment and brehs that see the same sistas getting fukked/hanging/etc by themselves or a rotation of cats they may or may not know tends to sour them on marriage or commitment in general.

 

[1 other person]

It's over for serious dating, lifelong monogamous relationships, and marriage. It's a wrap.

 

[satireprod]

It's over for serious dating, lifelong monogamous relationships, and marriage. It's a wrap.

Damn.

 

[Weaver31]

I love the fact that going towards the end of the article it states that this can apply to women as well. In the middle of reading this I got a message from one of my best girl friends stating that folks are pressuring her to find a husband, but her mentality is that of the men that think this way in this article and so am I. As much as I complain about not having options I too feel as though I am not where I'm at in order to be married. I have so many priorities right now and the thought of entertaining a husband let alone children brings my anxiety into overdrive.
There is too much I want to accomplish and having a man breathing down my damn neck is just gonna make me punch him in the face and tell him to . Men take your time! My pops told me the same thing and I'm telling you that. Your wife will come! Stack ya paper the way we are! Nothing wrong with that! I hate it when older folks pull my mom to the side (right behind me in the mall, folks that she knows...) and tell her "you need to find that daughter of yours a husband all she talks about is wanting to do this and that. My mom, my poor old school mama, just giggles. Hell whenever we're out and about she'll go "ooh that man is looking at you" and I look and he's looking at me like , or , or even worse! - . She'll see me give her the look and go "I'm just playin!" Yes but the playing is annoying! Men have standards and goals just like we do. As much as I want to be a mom I don't want my children and grandchildren to struggle. I want to create legacy and wealth and businesses to pass down. Hell I want 100 years from now, for my family to have that "old money", that "Vince McMahon/Rockerfeller/Mansa Musa type of money" along with connections and a network to get by on and grow with/from.

Again love the article! Straight up truth!

Good perspective from a female! U seem like a good catch and a man on ur speed would love to have u. U actually care about improving urself and ur status and this is refreshing to hear. U actually want to have some more value to ur relationship than just being able to have a baby...U actually want to raise kids up and not be struggling. I commend u for that because a lot of women I deal with only want the man to provide and do everything.

Do u worry that u may not find a good man by ur childbearing age range? Do u worry about being too old before u settle down? I worry about that myself.

 

[emerald]

Dont know about all that. We are supposed to step out on faith. That no matter the obstacle we will be alright. Thats a grown mans way of thinking. To put faith in yourself to push through all adversity. I find that those who choose to wait to have kids, or wait to bu that new car or home, or to get married end up missing out the most. Because there is never a good time. In life we are up today amd down tommorow. So better to be happy today and worry about tommorow the day after. In my experience you get much more out of life in the long run. Most times that is.

 

[resurrection]

I sorta get the desire to be financially stable before getting married, but really, when is there ever a perfect time? How do you know when you're "ready"? You could be riding high with a 6 figure job today and laid off or fired tomorrow and starting from scratch. Some folks have generational wealth, sure, but for the vast majority of us who are trying to build it from nothing, why the hell do we need to reach some sort of financial threshold to get married? If you're stuck in the situation of crippling student or consumer debt and trying to find ways to save or whatever, you're just gonna keep clawing away at that for years while all your best prospects find their own partners and settle down. And by the time you feel "ready" you're gonna be looking around like "oh ok so I got cougars, divorcees, and those nobody else wanted to choose from.. cool"

Don't get me wrong, this isn't an endorsement for marriage in general, because I'm not about that life either. But if you're one of those "want to get married but not financially ready" dudes, I think because of the changing economic and social conditions the guy described in the article, maybe it's time we stop trying to think of financial readiness as a prerequisite to getting married. If y'all love each other like that, y'all can figure life out together. Just like he said, it's 2016 not 1935 so men aren't expected to carry the full brunt of sustaining a family solely on his own shoulders. If a woman just wants that housewife life then okay get your life in order, but I have a feeling most of the dudes that article speaks to aren't looking for a "housewife".

 

[the bossman]

I sorta get the desire to be financially stable before getting married, but really, when is there ever a perfect time? How do you know when you're "ready"? You could be riding high with a 6 figure job today and laid off or fired tomorrow and starting from scratch. Some folks have generational wealth, sure, but for the vast majority of us who are trying to build it from nothing, why the hell do we need to reach some sort of financial threshold to get married? If you're stuck in the situation of crippling student or consumer debt and trying to find ways to save or whatever, you're just gonna keep clawing away at that for years while all your best prospects find their own partners and settle down. And by the time you feel "ready" you're gonna be looking around like "oh ok so I got cougars, divorcees, and those nobody else wanted to choose from.. cool"

Don't get me wrong, this isn't an endorsement for marriage in general, because I'm not about that life either. But if you're one of those "want to get married but not financially ready" dudes, I think because of the changing economic and social conditions the guy described in the article, maybe it's time we stop trying to think of financial readiness as a prerequisite to getting married. If y'all love each other like that, y'all can figure life out together. Just like he said, it's 2016 not 1935 so men aren't expected to carry the full brunt of sustaining a family solely on his own shoulders. If a woman just wants that housewife life then okay get your life in order, but I have a feeling most of the dudes that article speaks to aren't looking for a "housewife".

from that angle it sounds nice, but the reality is that one of the biggest reasons that a lot of marriages end up in divorce is because of money. love won't pay the bills

 

[resurrection]

from that angle it sounds nice, but the reality is that one of the biggest reasons that a lot of marriages end up in divorce is because of money. love won't pay the bills

Yeah but mature people need to temper their expectations. If you both work but have student debt, high rent or mortgage, etc., then you both need to be on the same page in terms of how you budget and manage your money. It's not necessarily a milestone of what your salary needs to be or what you need to have in the bank, because who knows if you'll ever be there? Money problems usually arise when one (or both) of the parties doesn't know how to live within their means and it turns to resentment. But that's about being smart and and on the same page about money, not necessarily about being at some arbitrary position already before you even enter the union

 

[:-)]

Good perspective from a female! U seem like a good catch and a man on ur speed would love to have u. U actually care about improving urself and ur status and this is refreshing to hear. U actually want to have some more value to ur relationship than just being able to have a baby...U actually want to raise kids up and not be struggling. I commend u for that because a lot of women I deal with only want the man to provide and do everything.

Do u worry that u may not find a good man by ur childbearing age range? Do u worry about being too old before u settle down? I worry about that myself.

Thanks hun! I will say this -- I'm 30 years old right now, and that's the child bearing age right there; I'm still not ready. So much has happened to where I'm rebuilding and rebuilding. I was very worried but if I let that occupy my mind then I will never accomplish what I want. I have something called PCOS so whether I had someone or not I would still have a fertility issue. My issue is getting better with my living situation, finances and health. Then I'll worry about having a man. It would be nice to run into a man that's my type but I don't really have anything that I could really offer, which is what I'm working on. But I don't lose myself in those thoughts. I used to worry so much to point of crying and I felt ashamed a few years ago, but I was taking care of my dad. I had to just look at my situation and tell myself "it's not time ma, it's coming". Best advice I can give you is to work on you the best way you can and watch it fall into place. I have my mom to encourage me and a few home girls. Hopefully you have that support system of encouragement as well too to keep it pushing!