.

[Mowgli]

You can keep that weird bytch

 

[RhodyRum]

Dude! You're a great writer! This could legit be an actual scene! I heard their voices in my head as I was reading it.

Thanks! Writing is probably my most natural talent. This is actually the second time I did a Seinfeld freestyle ouchea. Here's one between Kramer and Kyle Kuzma in that big stupid pink sweatshirt he rocked for that one game

Kramer: Youuuu... could be a uterus

Kuz: But I don't wanna be a uterus! Then I'll have to do uterus things! I'll have to ovulate ! And bleed once a month! I'll have to house fertilization! I'll have to house eggs! I'll have to hold a fetus so it doesn't strangle itself! No Kramer! No sweater! No uterus!

Kramer: Kooz, do you not recall eight summers ago, when I ate that rotten papaya that you left out for that Japanese med student you were dating... Thus avoiding a rather messy night for you in your bed with... Madame... Butterfly? I thought we were bros, Kuz... Bros!

Kuz: (through clenched teeth) ALLRIGGHHHHTTT!

 

[Tryna Makit]

Seem like a gateway to admitting you like getting pee'd on To me

I mean if you wanna get pissed on hoe just lemme know that then

 

[Amestafuu (Emeritus)]

As long as she peels it back and aims properly, sure

 

[Neo. The Only. The One.]

Thanks! Writing is probably my most natural talent. This is actually the second time I did a Seinfeld freestyle ouchea. Here's one between Kramer and Kyle Kuzma in that big stupid pink sweatshirt he rocked for that one game

You could be a sitcom writer, breh. Have you explored this?

 

[old pig]

Been known that if they like you they'll even tell you to slap it on the phone on circa mid 2000s the teenage years

lmaooo I didn’t know this was a thing, I thought I was just real nasty…it’s fukked up tho cuz I was still living at home (mid 90s) so I had to spray lysol on the phone after (landline)…I was college age tho

 

[Bud Bundy]

Being somewhat of a deviant, I wouldn't mind trying this.

Sounds like real love to me.

 

[Lord_nikon]

then have them put it back in your pants best feeling in the world

 

[Killer Instinct]

I remember back in high school I shaved everything bare for the first time. One night me and my gf were getting ready to have sex in the back of my moms Fords Explorer. She pulled my pants down and told me it looked like a turkey. That was the last time I shaved baby bald.

 

[Wildin]

SETTING: TOM'S DINER

George: So I'm out last night with Alison, we're making out on the couch. Then suddenly, nature calls...

Jerry: What number?

George: Uno, my friend. So I get up go the bathroom, stand in front of the toilet, unzip, and as I'm taking it out, I sense a familiar but awkward presence to my left.

Jerry: And that presence was?

George: Alison

Jerry: Aaaahhhhhh...

George: So she's looking at me as I'm, you know, "in ready position..." then she goes: "Hey, mind if I hold it for you this one time?"

Jerry: She said what?

George: "Hey, mind if I hold it for you... this one time?" I didn't know what to do Jerry. It was so unexpected I was stuck! I was like a deer in headlights!

Jerry: Except you're not just standing in the road, you're peeing in it.

George: Wouldya just listen? So I'm standing there, paralyzed all over, and I guess she took my silence as an "ok..."

Jerry: She held it?

George: SHE HELD IT JERRY!

Jerry: Before and during?

George: Before, during... and AFTER!

Jerry: And just how did this act of "assisted urination" feel?

George: I gotta admit (snorts)... it turned me on. The sex we had afterwards.... Yowza!

Jerry: So while Alison was, uh, "putting out a fire on the ground floor," how was her aim?

George: Like a Special Forces sniper.

Jerry: You my friend, may have found the one. (Takes sip from coffee cup)

SCENE ENDS

Jerry: This might be a thing. I'm going to have to make some calls.

**Elaine enters the apartment**

Jerry: Elaine.......You ever........assisted a man with........

Elaine: With what?

Jerry: Uh.....You know held it when.......

Elaine: Held what? What are you talking about?

Jerry: When a guy.....has to....

George: Drain the main vein.....

Elaine: Oh!......Well, yeah! That's like 5th date activity.

Jerry: What!?! 5th date activity? What are you talking about?

Elaine: You know, you've been together a few times, you're at his place, you wonder what he's doing in there after or he's at my place and I don't really trust him in my bathroom with the door closed around my personals.

George: Well why don't you just tell him to leave the door open....

Elaine: No way, open door bathroom usage is for exclusive dating. You don't do that unless you're considering moving in or have moved it.

Jerry: That is a telltale sign of a serious exclusive relationship. You know we've had more than 5 dates.....And we've.....You know....more than a few times. How come that has never come up?

Elaine: Jerry, you put your underwear on under the blanket before you get out of the bed.

**Kramer enters**

George: Hey Kramer, has a woman ever held it for you while you.....You know....

Kramer: Of course! That's 5th date activity!

Kramer: If that goes well and you're serious about the relationship, you explore leaving the door open. Then you know if you've got a keeper.

 

[Nagarjuna]

Been seeing a lot of this in the zeitgeist lately


Calling it now, piss play will be the new ass eating. A rapper/rnb singer gonna put in a song how they like getting piss on and the rest is history

 

[Fill Collins]

Have preferences, brehs

 

[RhodyRum]

I remember back in high school I shaved everything bare for the first time. One night me and my gf were getting ready to have sex in the back of my moms Fords Explorer. She pulled my pants down and told me it looked like a turkey. That was the last time I shaved baby bald.

That's a broad who can't appreciate nice things

 

[humminbird]

Been seeing a lot of this in the zeitgeist lately


Calling it now, piss play will be the new ass eating. A rapper/rnb singer gonna put in a song how they like getting piss on and the rest is history

Please no
finding new bed sheets is hard

 

[RhodyRum]

Jerry: This might be a thing. I'm going to have to make some calls.

**Elaine enters the apartment**

Jerry: Elaine.......You ever........assisted a man with........

Elaine: With what?

Jerry: Uh.....You know held it when.......

Elaine: Held what? What are you talking about?

Jerry: When a guy.....has to....

George: Drain the main vein.....

Elaine: Oh!......Well, yeah! That's like 5th date activity.

Jerry: What!?! 5th date activity? What are you talking about?

Elaine: You know, you've been together a few times, you're at his place, you wonder what he's doing in there after or he's at my place and I don't really trust him in my bathroom with the door closed around my personals.

George: Well why don't you just tell him to leave the door open....

Elaine: No way, open door bathroom usage is for exclusive dating. You don't do that unless you're considering moving in or have moved it.

Jerry: That is a telltale sign of a serious exclusive relationship. You know we've had more than 5 dates.....And we've.....You know....more than a few times. How come that has never come up?

Elaine: Jerry, you put your underwear on under the blanket before you get out of the bed.

**Kramer enters**

George: Hey Kramer, has a woman ever held it for you while you.....You know....

Kramer: Of course! That's 5th date activity!

Kramer: If that goes well and you're serious about the relationship, you explore leaving the door open. Then you know if you've got a keeper.

Dope sh1t! Coli got a few wordsmiths I see

#BlackExcellence