A cautionary xmas warning for thecoli

[Devilinurear]

i have a manservant that stays on my property.

 

[O.T.I.S.]

i have a manservant that stays on my property.

He’ll probably help her

 

[Mowgli]

Ya'll be careful out here over the holidays. Me and my uncle were out in the bush huntin snowfoxes and that night, after we made our camp, i got bit by five spiders. We know it was five bc I had cameras set up in my tent. They musta seen me lower my biker boot on one of they homeboys earlier that evening and was out for vengeance. Anyway, I been paralyzed from the neck down for the past 24 hours and cannot move. I'm typing this with voice-type technology. Don't put yourselves into any possible dangerous situations bc it can go south real quick. Also, don't weep for me, I got a skydiving appointment tomorrow, and I'm still gonna do it cause I paid 2,000 dollars for it and we can't cancel. I also paid a hooker off the internet to come over and I'll at least get her to roll around on me like a rolling pin for half a hour or something if i can't get 'aroused' i guess. Be safe coli. Discuss.

Wow thought you were training brother. Had ur blood really been pumping those bytch ass spiders would have expl0d3d as soon as they bit you. Shame. Please use ur time in isolation to come correct next time.

Spiders.....

I knew something was wrong at the fact spiders have the courage to come near u. They don't Dare do that shyt around here.


I had a bug crawl up through the drains and die in the tub after he realized he was on the same floor as me. Please.