A Simple Question

[malbaker86]

I am an introvert. In my experience, the men seem to do it to "lay claim" on me when they see other men look at me. I do not mind if it is spontaneous and genuine. I still prefer it be infrequent though.

yea that's how we view it too. We don't do it to "cuff" each other cause that does show some sort of insecurity that isn't appealing you know? I agree with it being infrequent too. If we go to the store 20 times, i'll say 4 out of those 20 times we'll randomly hold hands on our walk to or from the store. I'm not big on PDA unless it's like you said; spontaneous and genuine

 

[Dafunkdoc_Unlimited]

So holding hands with her is now part of the protocol?

It was. Now, not so much. I'm trying to find out why.​

 

[Dafunkdoc_Unlimited]

I am an introvert. In my experience, the men seem to do it to "lay claim" on me when they see other men look at me. I do not mind if it is spontaneous and genuine. I still prefer it be infrequent though.

I understand, now. What type are you, btw? I'm INTJ.​

 

[Cappy77]

I understand, now. What type are you, btw? I'm INTJ.​

ISTJ

 

[Amy Traphouse]

I am an introvert. In my experience, the men seem to do it to "lay claim" on me when they see other men look at me. I do not mind if it is spontaneous and genuine. I still prefer it be infrequent though.

I'm the same way but I could take it a step further and say I don't like to be touched and that includes in an intimate way such as hugging from people other than my family and fiance. Someone wanting a hug, rubbing my arm, or trying to link arms creeps me out because my personal space has been invaded.

 

[Dafunkdoc_Unlimited]

ISTJ

Your objection to hand-holding now makes perfect sense. I was the same way until I found it put my S/O's feelings at ease and made for more peaceful outings.

We don't betray emotions outwardly, so, that's about the only way they'll know we care.
​

 

[awkwardblackgirl]

Why don't people in relationships hold hands with their S/O in public anymore?

Admittedly, it's been a minute since I was involved, but I noticed it even way back when I was married and, more recently, in my last relationship. I'd be walking through the mall/supermarket/etc. with my woman and it just seemed rather.....odd....that people who are supposed to be involved with one another no longer seem to want others to know or show each other that they care about them with a very small gesture of affection.

What happened?​

Your post reminded me of this article I read a few weeks ago: The Dismal State of Flirting in English-Speaking Cultures - Postmasculine

One of the things he says is that in our culture, there is a sort of discomfort with sexual intentions compared to other countries/cultures. That our society shames those who openly display affection, even people who are in relationships. If you have time, you should read it..I found it really interesting.

 

[Dafunkdoc_Unlimited]

Your post reminded me of this article I read a few weeks ago: The Dismal State of Flirting in English-Speaking Cultures - Postmasculine

One of the things he says is that in our culture, there is a sort of discomfort with sexual intentions compared to other countries/cultures. That our society shames those who openly display affection, even people who are in relationships. If you have time, you should read it..I found it really interesting.

No wonder all the women I dated said something along the lines of 'Are you trying to make me fall in love with you?' ON THE FIRST DATE!!! Evidently, treating someone you have a genuine interest in with honesty and respect means either you just want some booty, or are a simp, and there's no middle-ground.

The 'Game' is all fukked-up, this article just revealed how much.​

 

[1thouwow]

doing it to mark territory is for the birds.
that genuine, in the moment shyt is OK. it'll catch me off guard.
I wouldn't do it with none of these ratchet girls i'm seekin tho

 

[Danie84]

To crowded in the streets to be holding hands like elementary kids

 

[Dafunkdoc_Unlimited]

To crowded in the streets to be holding hands like elementary kids

As Freud pointed out decades ago, historically, for a civilization to thrive, it had to have a way to cull and organize its people’s sexual impulses into a neat system. A civilization can do this in two ways: through formal institutions and laws, as well as through cultural norms and societal beliefs. And different culture developed different cultural norms to enforce this social order.

Latin cultures have an intense fixation on romance, jealousy and possessiveness (it’s no coincidence that they have more infidelity than anywhere else). Islamic cultures do it through pure fear and retribution. Hindu culture does it by arranging marriages. Japanese culture does it through codes of honor and integrity.

And the English-speaking cultures do it through shame.

See how it works?
​

 

[Dre Space Age]

INTJ

 

[Sierra Mist]

She's so cute I hold her hand everywhere. :inlove:

 

[jalamanta]

He's so cute I suck his cock everywhere. :inlove:

Horrible

 

[Sierra Mist]

This ignore function>>>>