Anybody else have a dismissive-avoidant personality type?

[iBrowse]

 

[Nicole0416_718_929_646212]

Yea...grandfather just died...it sucks but inside I literally have no feeling. Brother fukking up in school,doing drugs,suicidal and I don't care..I try to talk once in awhile but inside the nikka is a burden to me...I grew up in a dysfunctional family..the emotions aren't really there. I don't even wanna goto the funeral but i'll suck it up. It's like shyt this world is whatever i'm just waiting to meet my maker at this point.

sorry about your grandfather. had an uncle just pass, i didn't feel like going, so I didnt. I can relate-- it's like you're just existing instead of living. At this point, it's like struggling to find something (or that reason) to live for each day. Reason to even get up.. I mean, I have my daughter, that's motivation bc it would be selfish of me to not keep trying every day. But as far as the day to day, I have no feelings. grew up in a volatile, non loving household. Life is a burden, imo, and you cant take on your brothers issues bc you have enough going on with you. At this point, it's like, if I don't feel like doing something, and if it doesn't hurt anyone, then I don't do it. used to try to help and look out for other people more than I looked out for myself. But now, I'm like f them, bc no one was there when I needed someone to reach out to. Not only that, but I don't care anymore. I just see it like, if I don't do what I need to everyday (work, take care of home) sh8ts only going to get worse, and then I'll be even more fu8cked up.. depressing.

 

[Nicole0416_718_929_646212]

I forgot. Only post fukkery on here. Save the intellectual shyt for elsewhere

Nah.. gotta be some balance. That's the problem.. I'm with the intellectual shytz and fukkery when I have the tolerance for it.

 

[Black Nate Grey]

Yeah this describes me pretty well. I have no problem saying I love you to my parents or family though.
Otherwise, a damning description of part of my character lol.

 

[Prynce]

I'm a fearful-avoidant

 

[D.C Young]

1. UNATTACHED
Individuals who have learned to apply this attachment style are those people were not too attached to their parents while they were young. These children grew up and became familiar with this type of attachment that when it came to new relationships and how they interact with others, they try to avoid being too emotionally attached or intimate. They have a feeling of discomfort when it comes to physical contact, intimacy and even romantic gestures to their partners. This type of people may consider the importance of friendship in their romantic relationships but when it comes to sexual acts or showing affection, they find it hard to be all out just so they can remain comfortable in their relationships. People who are considered to be dismissive-avoidant are seen as loners and people who are impersonal and more objective.

this is pretty acurate for me

I dont have the ability to bond with people because my parents didn't have the ability to bond with me

 

[Gold]

nah, i don't dukk beef like a bish

 

[Carlton Banks]

Yes.. I read through all this. Thanks for posting.. describes me exactly. This is me all day. every day. Sometimes it's a way to protect yourself because of negative attachments in the past. I can relate to each and every part of this- no emotional caregiver. Mine is not fearful avoidant more dismissive, in that I do not place a value of interpersonal or personal relationships, I am a loner but can still adapt to different social situations. I don't need validation from relationships or anything external. I think having this personality has the good side in that you really don't give a f what people think and your life is not dependentt on how other perceive you or having friends around, even what anyone thinks of you. But it's sometimes a negative because that same I don't give a f attitude can hurt other people that may genuinely have feelings for you and you may cut off potential good outcomes. Then again, the dismissive personality can be helpful because we have a realistic view of situations, "expect the bad" or "trust no one" mentality, which gives us more discernment. I just accept myself, in that being different is not always bad. Those who care, will be understanding and help. But I rarely meet people who aren't selfish or who I actually like anyway. Live life on my terms, as long as I'm not intentionally trying to hurt anyone. I think dismissives have a big heart but we have been let down by those who are supposed to love us (parents, family) or it's perceived as weakness, that we retreat into our head and know that we can't expect the same type of love that we can give. Like I could never go to my 'parents' for life advice, emotional stability - grew up where no one said 'love you' or gave hugs, or affection. The only attention is negative attention, where if you do something wrong- it's blown up, do something right.. no one acknowledges or cares. But as a parent now, i'm like overly affectionate to my kids, make sure they get hugs, or I tell them openly or show them, so they don't feel how I do. As far as the friend, or bf or gf relationship dynamic.. it's no stability because you shut down or don't have it in you to be that completely emotionally attached to someone.

Yeah it's my same personality down to a T. To be honest breh I think it's more black folks with the same type of personality. Especially when you said how the negative gets more attention and blown out of proportion versus the positive going unacknowledged

 

[D.C Young]

1. UNATTACHED
Individuals who have learned to apply this attachment style are those people were not too attached to their parents while they were young. These children grew up and became familiar with this type of attachment that when it came to new relationships and how they interact with others, they try to avoid being too emotionally attached or intimate. They have a feeling of discomfort when it comes to physical contact, intimacy and even romantic gestures to their partners. This type of people may consider the importance of friendship in their romantic relationships but when it comes to sexual acts or showing affection, they find it hard to be all out just so they can remain comfortable in their relationships. People who are considered to be dismissive-avoidant are seen as loners and people who are impersonal and more objective.

this is pretty acurate for me

I dont have the ability to bond with people because my parents didn't have the ability to bond with me

 

[Prince Mongo]

This but nikkas post any type of weirdo characteristics a lot of cats always going to be like that's me on here. Like being weirdos to the world is some cool shyt to be. The shyt you see folks claim on the net at times I tell ya

What kind of grown man cares about being a "weirdo?"

 

[philmonroe]

What kind of grown man cares about being a "weirdo?"

It seems like some on here do. I don't know why though. Every time it is some random stuff most people wouldn't want to be associated with as far as personality it's always more than enough on here like that's me. I guess cats just want to feel special.

 

[TEH]

This describes me perfectly.


Talk to me about anything intimate (even on here) and I'm like



I post all day but I avoid being personal...

 

[Commish]

What kind of grown man cares about being a "weirdo?"

Exactly! When you are grown and sustain yourself, then the last thing you are going to worry about is what other people think of you. Weirdness is subjective. More than likely, people who may call you weird just have different tastes and perhaps lives a different lifestyle.

 

[Nicole0416_718_929_646212]

I dont have the ability to bond with people because my parents didn't have the ability to bond with me[/QUOTE]

facts. That and other parents, like mine, had the ability, they just were too selfish or wrapped up in their own shyt to care. Bitter and angry azz mom and angry, bipolar dad. At this point, I'm older so I just like f it, damage done. I come to terms with the emotional neglect and I know not to self myself up for failure by expecting anything from anyone emotionally or otherwise. I'm a woman, so it's in me to be more nurturing so I tend to just withdraw from people or avoid situations/people don't have good energy. I guess that's a positive out of all that - dismissives have that extra ability to sense when someone is not right or doesn't have the right intentions.

 

[Prince Mongo]

It seems like some on here do. I don't know why though. Every time it is some random stuff most people wouldn't want to be associated with as far as personality it's always more than enough on here like that's me. I guess cats just want to feel special.

You seem like you have something wrong with your personality yourself, considering you seem offended at nothing. Who's said they were "special?" This is just a random thread about a personality disorder, you're making seem like it's deeper than that

Congratulations on being a normal nikka