Anybody ever have a mental breakdown before?

DrX

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I feel like I'm going through one now. I don't know the medical symptoms or anything, but I do know I never felt like nothing that
I'm experiencing now.

The combination of pressure to succeed, depression and isolation is deteriorating my mind. I can feel it slipping away. I can't even think anymore, I can't rationalize things like I used to. I just simply don't wan to think about them. I want to run and hide under the sheets like a bytch lol. I feel mentally broken, very weak and vulnerable, no fight in me. Lol In surrender mode, waving the white flag, throwing in the towel.

My mind feel like a broken TV, flicking back and forth, going from one topic to the next. I can't turn it off, like that scene from the movie limitless. One minute I'm up, extremely high, I feel like the greatest man on earth...then I come down, and when I get low, I get super low.

When I'm alone up at night esp the demons come knocking. I try to fight them, try to stay optimistic, but they never leave. I'm trying this 'being positive' thing but I don't know man. I'm not going to be cynical and denounce it, I'll just say it's not working so far.

I don't even know what to do anymore. Im against medication. I'm against therapy, lol the coli locker room sadly is my therapist. I'm all tapped out of answers.

Usually people have material things that they strive for. Which makes sense, because it's one of the things that keep society together. and I not even going to be an a$$hole and knock it. But I don't know what I'm working so hard for anymore. I feel like I'm working for some illusion that I created in my head that might be totally unobtainable without compromising your soul.

I don't know man....just late night thoughts, appreciate anybody that read
 
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Breh unless you have a really strong ego (which comes from constantly testing yourself in the world and then using those results to form a realistic, unshakeable self-image), unless you have that, your perception of reality and yourself will always be based on the opinions of everyone around you. Not giving a shyt about failure isn't something you can switch on or fake, it's really there or it isn't.

There's also the fact that you despise everything and everyone so you can't even take a break from hating life and just kicking it with homies or something.

You have to try to fit into society (which doesn't mean you gotta stop your hustle to be better, just that having social interaction is v. important for every person on the planet.)

My dad once told me your inner world is the product of the five people you spend the most time with. For you these five people are all people you hate and feel contempt for. This will drive you further and further into the abyss.

Also you gotta break out of this "me against the world" film that's playing inside your head - you don't have to be a tragic figure, it's much more fun to be optimistic about waking up everyday, you're in your 20s and you got your health, man, quit frowning.

Just my observations from reading your posts :manny:
 
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Keep your head up DRX. I usually felt relatively fine during the day but my mind wanders at night and I felt all low. :mjcry:

Kinda the reason my sleeping pattern is messed up as I type.

Finally got my breakthrough on Christmas so I'll be at peace knowing I have something to strive for. Gotta find a way to chase the dream and be happy at the same time. Find you an artsy chick.
 
GodsPerspective

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DrX said:
I feel like I'm going through one now. I don't know the medical symptoms or anything, but I do know I never felt like nothing that
I'm experiencing now.

The combination of pressure to succeed, depression and isolation is deteriorating my mind. I can feel it slipping away. I can't even think anymore, I can't rationalize things like I used to. I just simply don't wan to think about them. I want to run and hide under the sheets like a bytch lol. I feel mentally broken, very weak and vulnerable, no fight in me. Lol In surrender mode, waving the white flag, throwing in the towel.

My mind feel like a broken TV, flicking back and forth, going from one topic to the next. I can't turn it off, like that scene from the movie limitless. One minute I'm up, extremely high, I feel like the greatest man on earth...then I come down, and when I get low, I get super low.

When I'm alone up at night esp the demons come knocking. I try to fight them, try to stay optimistic, but they never leave. I'm trying this 'being positive' thing but I don't know man. I'm not going to be cynical and denounce it, I'll just say it's not working so far.

I don't even know what to do anymore. Im against medication. I'm against therapy, lol the coli locker room sadly is my therapist. I'm all tapped out of answers.

Usually people have material things that they strive for. Which makes sense, because it's one of the things that keep society together. and I not even going to be an a$$hole and knock it. But I don't know what I'm working so hard for anymore. I feel like I'm working for some illusion that I created in my head that might be totally unobtainable without compromising your soul.

I don't know man....just late night thoughts, appreciate anybody that read
Click to expand...
That ether from @DarlingNikki has got your mind rocking back and forth.
You still feeling the residuals.
Give it a week or two and you'll be good breh.
 
DrX

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Dracudiddy said:
Breh unless you have a really strong ego (which comes from constantly testing yourself in the world and then using those results to form a realistic, unshakeable self-image), unless you have that, your perception of reality and yourself will always be based on the opinions of everyone around you. Not giving a shyt about failure isn't something you can switch on or fake, it's really there or it isn't.

There's also the fact that you despise everything and everyone so you can't even take a break from hating life and just kicking it with homies or something.

You have to try to fit into society (which doesn't mean you gotta stop your hustle to be better, just that having social interaction is v. important for every person on the planet.)

My dad once told me your inner world is the product of the five people you spend the most time with. For you these five people are all people you hate and feel contempt for. This will drive you further and further into the abyss.

Also you gotta break out of this "me against the world" film that's playing inside your head - you don't have to be a tragic figure, it's much more fun to be optimistic about waking up everyday, you're in your 20s and you got your health, man, quit frowning.

Just my observations from reading your posts :manny:
Click to expand...
this is some good info man, all of it...esp the bold
 
DrX

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Off Emerald.. said:
I had 1 in 2012... Too much pressure & shyt on my mind....lost 3 homies & 1 day:snoop:

I couldn't sleep, heartbeat was rapid, nausea... Finally passed out & woke up a day later in the hospital :to:
Click to expand...
Damn
 
JOHN.KOOL

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Vanity of vanities, all is vanity. Everything everyone works for and strives for on this earth ultimately means nothing. Whether it's money, fame or any success measured in the physical and material things of this world, it's an illution, a reason to give meaning to a vain existence.

If when man created the Computer it had turned around and said forget man I don't wanna do that then what purpose would it then have, without man what's the reason for it's existence. It is in this same way man walks around the earth aimlessly with no actual purpose, because mankind has rejected its creator, either we don't believe or refuse to acknowledge that there is a God who created us, without our creator we don't have a reason for being. Which is why we chase paper money and fiat currency, Why we hold grades and university degrees designed by other men to be some sort of great achievement, the size of our house, the speed of our car or simply just how subjectively happy we are with ourselves amidst all this Vanity.
 
DrX

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ADK said:
Keep your head up DRX. I usually felt relatively fine during the day but my mind wanders at night and I felt all low. :mjcry:

Kinda the reason my sleeping pattern is messed up as I type.

Finally got my breakthrough on Christmas so I'll be at peace knowing I have something to strive for. Gotta find a way to chase the dream and be happy at the same time. Find you an artsy chick.
Click to expand...
Appreciate it bro
 
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