Anybody here a loner

Ahadi

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I will honestly say I am

I thought I wanted to be around people.. until I had this chick stay at my crib over the weekend


She was pissin me off left and right. I couldn’t wait for her ass to leave.. dumb shyt too. Like a child

Kinda made me realize that maybe I like being alone and need to be alone. I notice I’m like that with most people too. Maybe it’s the people I’m around, but unless I’m drinking, I can’t tolerate too much.

Me time is important. I sometimes have to prep myself before going to an event or meeting ppl by doing breathing exercises. But I get this entire post completely, cept I usually kick em out the next day lol.

It’s good to go out and just worry about yourself and not other ppl.
 

97Pac

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Me time is important. I sometimes have to prep myself before going to an event or meeting ppl by doing breathing exercises. But I get this entire post completely, cept I usually kick em out the next day lol.

It’s good to go out and just worry about yourself and not other ppl.
Sometimes it's nice to socialize for a few hours them go home to peace. I dread some social events but once I get in there it usually gets better for me. I always drive so when I'm ready to go I can hop in the whip and be out.
 

StackorStarve

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I can turn it off and an on. I’m cool being by myself or with someone I’m interested in or I can be in a crowd of people and crack jokes. I stopped fukking with big social media when I went thru a down time in my life. I closed myself off so I could build myself up again but not being involved consistently turned into a habit so now looking at it from the outside it looks like a waste of time to me now.
 

BaldingSoHard

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one big dark room with my computer

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:noah:
 

Unknown Poster

I had to do it to em.
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I'm 38 years old and I feel like just due to my background and where I was raised I was more likely to be alone compared to everybody else.

Ive always had friends but recently I have none.
My high school years...never had a high school GF and was teased and picked for being the awkward black kid that didn't play sports in a private catholic so I have a bunch of pent up hostility from then...even 20 years later.

My only serious "relationship" with a woman lasted a whopping 6 months and that was 14 years ago. For the most part, I'm never booed up and I'm always single. Cause most of the time I've struggled with money and trying to find work because of my Nigerian/West Indian background and name...people have been absolutely hesitant to give me a real chance. And it feels the same way with dating/relationships with my jobs...they don't last long. Women are hesitant to be seen out in public with me and I never met a girls parents...i seriously don't ever see myself getting married...cause America...this shyt? Is not for Black Men like me.



I was actually homeless in 2015 (becausw I couldn't find work and couldn't make money to get a place) living in NYC and that made seriously judge people cause I just experience so much hate...so much hostility...I went to jail and the hospital the same year. I still suffer from PTSF from it...just the stress and anxiety and depression from being homeless messed me mentally. What made it worse was I had graduated from college with 2 degrees and being homeless made me feel like those degrees were absolutely worthless.
:wow:

I really found out who my friends were durong that time...that's for sure.

I feel like I'm not a bad guy but because of the way this country is, black men like me are seen as invisible. impeded by everything and racism just getting in the way from me getting the shyt done I want to do. Never have enough money to do the things I want to do...always mad...always alone...never content...never truly happy.

Recently I've actually been getting really pissed off seeing happy couples. I've never had anything close to a real relationship before just flings with women that don't go anywhere. Then I lost a whole bunch of family members in the last year and I haven't cried I've actually just internalized it but I've been really fukking angry at a lot of people for trying to fukk with me... Especially people online. Even though they wouldn't even fukk with me in real life.

So I just entertained myself. I'll buy the stuff I want for myself I buy all sorts of clothes and sneakers, all sorts of stuff from my apartment, I bought all sorts of music equipment because I got all this money I saved up from not spending it on a girlfriend or a wife or kids.

My family never taught me any sort of game when it came to women and my friends weren't helpful at all, most of them didn't care about me at all...so I threw em in the bushes. A bunch of racist republican trash that showed who they really were from my years at a PWI. Once i left there and moved to NYC and hung out with more Black folks I really realized they were trash.

Whatever.
:francis:

I am so used to be lonely and alone it's like second nature to me now.

I'm saving up my money to move out of America...i really fukking hate it here.
 
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africngiant

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I'm 38 years old and I feel like just due to my background and where I was raised I was more likely to be alone compared to everybody else.

Ive always had friends but recently I have none.
My high school years...never had a high school GF and was teased and picked for being the awkward black kid that didn't play sports in a private catholic so I have a bunch of pent up hostility from then...even 20 years later.

My only serious "relationship" with a woman lasted a whopping 6 months and that was 14 years ago. For the most part, I'm never booed up and I'm always single. Cause most of the time I've struggled with money and trying to find work because of my Nigerian/West Indian background and name...people have been absolutely hesitant to give me a real chance. And it feels the same way with dating/relationships with my jobs...they don't last long. Women are hesitant to be seen out in public with me and I never met a girls parents...i seriously don't ever see myself getting married...cause America...this shyt? Is not for Black Men like me.



I was actually homeless in 2015 (becausw I couldn't find work and couldn't make money to get a place) living in NYC and that made seriously judge people cause I just experience so much hate...so much hostility...I went to jail and the hospital the same year. I still suffer from PTSF from it...just the stress and anxiety and depression from being homeless messed me mentally. What made it worse was I had graduated from college with 2 degrees and being homeless made me feel like those degrees were absolutely worthless.
:wow:

I really found out who my friends were durong that time...that's for sure.

I feel like I'm not a bad guy but because of the way this country is, black men like me are seen as invisible. impeded by everything and racism just getting in the way from me getting the shyt done I want to do. Never have enough money to do the things I want to do...always mad...always alone...never content...never truly happy.

Recently I've actually been getting really pissed off seeing happy couples. I've never had anything close to a real relationship before just flings with women that don't go anywhere. Then I lost a whole bunch of family members in the last year and I haven't cried I've actually just internalized it but I've been really fukking angry at a lot of people for trying to fukk with me... Especially people online. Even though they wouldn't even fukk with me in real life.

So I just entertained myself. I'll buy the stuff I want for myself I buy all sorts of clothes and sneakers, all sorts of stuff from my apartment, I bought all sorts of music equipment because I got all this money I saved up from not spending it on a girlfriend or a wife or kids.

My family never taught me any sort of game when it came to women and my friends weren't helpful at all, most of them didn't care about me at all...so I threw em in the bushes. A bunch of racist republican trash that showed who they really were from my years at a PWI. Once i left there and moved to NYC and hung out with more Black folks I really realized they were trash.

Whatever.
:francis:

I am so used to be lonely and alone it's like second nature to me now.

I'm saving up my money to move out of America...i really fukking hate it here.
you basically sound just like me minus the homeless situation(sorry bro). idk if you’re tall but that makes it even worse trying to be socially diplomatic with no prior help. everything’s gonna look worse when a giraffe’s doing it.

the older i get, the more the bitterness is getting permanent. i can’t fake the positivity anymore cause it just comes out so fake. years have passed by and none of my life has gone according to plan at all. i had a lot of built up (false) hope and (failed) trajectories that boiled to it’s head in the last few days. any remaining excitement i have for the near future is constantly being crushed and comparison is the thief of joy.

i wasted years 18-22 doing nothing and im about to waste another year, im certain. so now my entire early 20s were wasted being a giant loser who has literally nothing to show for himself during these pivotal social years.

im starting to accept that life doesn’t have a happy ending so im not chasing a perfect reputation anymore because i already failed. im dejected and tired of hoping to enjoy my life when it’s probably never going to happen like i thought it would. i can’t believe im so late to everything and im being lapped by everyone. i hate seeing people have fun too now. from the outside looking in none of this would have seemed possible to anyone
 
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DreamyKnights

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I'm 38 years old and I feel like just due to my background and where I was raised I was more likely to be alone compared to everybody else.

Ive always had friends but recently I have none.
My high school years...never had a high school GF and was teased and picked for being the awkward black kid that didn't play sports in a private catholic so I have a bunch of pent up hostility from then...even 20 years later.

My only serious "relationship" with a woman lasted a whopping 6 months and that was 14 years ago. For the most part, I'm never booed up and I'm always single. Cause most of the time I've struggled with money and trying to find work because of my Nigerian/West Indian background and name...people have been absolutely hesitant to give me a real chance. And it feels the same way with dating/relationships with my jobs...they don't last long. Women are hesitant to be seen out in public with me and I never met a girls parents...i seriously don't ever see myself getting married...cause America...this shyt? Is not for Black Men like me.



I was actually homeless in 2015 (becausw I couldn't find work and couldn't make money to get a place) living in NYC and that made seriously judge people cause I just experience so much hate...so much hostility...I went to jail and the hospital the same year. I still suffer from PTSF from it...just the stress and anxiety and depression from being homeless messed me mentally. What made it worse was I had graduated from college with 2 degrees and being homeless made me feel like those degrees were absolutely worthless.
:wow:

I really found out who my friends were durong that time...that's for sure.

I feel like I'm not a bad guy but because of the way this country is, black men like me are seen as invisible. impeded by everything and racism just getting in the way from me getting the shyt done I want to do. Never have enough money to do the things I want to do...always mad...always alone...never content...never truly happy.

Recently I've actually been getting really pissed off seeing happy couples. I've never had anything close to a real relationship before just flings with women that don't go anywhere. Then I lost a whole bunch of family members in the last year and I haven't cried I've actually just internalized it but I've been really fukking angry at a lot of people for trying to fukk with me... Especially people online. Even though they wouldn't even fukk with me in real life.

So I just entertained myself. I'll buy the stuff I want for myself I buy all sorts of clothes and sneakers, all sorts of stuff from my apartment, I bought all sorts of music equipment because I got all this money I saved up from not spending it on a girlfriend or a wife or kids.

My family never taught me any sort of game when it came to women and my friends weren't helpful at all, most of them didn't care about me at all...so I threw em in the bushes. A bunch of racist republican trash that showed who they really were from my years at a PWI. Once i left there and moved to NYC and hung out with more Black folks I really realized they were trash.

Whatever.
:francis:

I am so used to be lonely and alone it's like second nature to me now.

I'm saving up my money to move out of America...i really fukking hate it here.
I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through that. I really hope it gets better
 

KingSol81

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I'm 38 years old and I feel like just due to my background and where I was raised I was more likely to be alone compared to everybody else.

Ive always had friends but recently I have none.
My high school years...never had a high school GF and was teased and picked for being the awkward black kid that didn't play sports in a private catholic so I have a bunch of pent up hostility from then...even 20 years later.

My only serious "relationship" with a woman lasted a whopping 6 months and that was 14 years ago. For the most part, I'm never booed up and I'm always single. Cause most of the time I've struggled with money and trying to find work because of my Nigerian/West Indian background and name...people have been absolutely hesitant to give me a real chance. And it feels the same way with dating/relationships with my jobs...they don't last long. Women are hesitant to be seen out in public with me and I never met a girls parents...i seriously don't ever see myself getting married...cause America...this shyt? Is not for Black Men like me.



I was actually homeless in 2015 (becausw I couldn't find work and couldn't make money to get a place) living in NYC and that made seriously judge people cause I just experience so much hate...so much hostility...I went to jail and the hospital the same year. I still suffer from PTSF from it...just the stress and anxiety and depression from being homeless messed me mentally. What made it worse was I had graduated from college with 2 degrees and being homeless made me feel like those degrees were absolutely worthless.
:wow:

I really found out who my friends were durong that time...that's for sure.

I feel like I'm not a bad guy but because of the way this country is, black men like me are seen as invisible. impeded by everything and racism just getting in the way from me getting the shyt done I want to do. Never have enough money to do the things I want to do...always mad...always alone...never content...never truly happy.

Recently I've actually been getting really pissed off seeing happy couples. I've never had anything close to a real relationship before just flings with women that don't go anywhere. Then I lost a whole bunch of family members in the last year and I haven't cried I've actually just internalized it but I've been really fukking angry at a lot of people for trying to fukk with me... Especially people online. Even though they wouldn't even fukk with me in real life.

So I just entertained myself. I'll buy the stuff I want for myself I buy all sorts of clothes and sneakers, all sorts of stuff from my apartment, I bought all sorts of music equipment because I got all this money I saved up from not spending it on a girlfriend or a wife or kids.

My family never taught me any sort of game when it came to women and my friends weren't helpful at all, most of them didn't care about me at all...so I threw em in the bushes. A bunch of racist republican trash that showed who they really were from my years at a PWI. Once i left there and moved to NYC and hung out with more Black folks I really realized they were trash.

Whatever.
:francis:

I am so used to be lonely and alone it's like second nature to me now.

I'm saving up my money to move out of America...i really fukking hate it here.
Move to Toronto, none of my West Indian homies have had trouble getting girls, sounds like you're a victim of circumstance and proximity more than anything being wrong with you personally. Either way, you gotta get ya confidence up and let ya nuts hang breh.
 
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