Anybody here a loner

[Duke Wy Lin]

you basically sound just like me minus the homeless situation(sorry bro). idk if you’re tall but that makes it even worse trying to be socially diplomatic with no prior help. everything’s gonna look worse when a giraffe’s doing it.

the older i get, the more the bitterness is getting permanent. i can’t fake the positivity anymore cause it just comes out so fake. years have passed by and none of my life has gone according to plan at all. i had a lot of built up (false) hope and (failed) trajectories that boiled to it’s head in the last few days. any remaining excitement i have for the near future is constantly being crushed and comparison is the thief of joy.

i wasted years 18-22 doing nothing and im about to waste another year, im certain. so now my entire early 20s were wasted being a giant loser who has literally nothing to show for himself during these pivotal social years.

im starting to accept that life doesn’t have a happy ending so im not chasing a perfect reputation anymore because i already failed. im dejected and tired of hoping to enjoy my life when it’s probably never going to happen like i thought it would. i can’t believe im so late to everything and im being lapped by everyone. i hate seeing people have fun too now. from the outside looking in none of this would have seemed possible to anyone

You're caught in a negative spiral and your attitude to it is definitely not helping. In fact, you're probably causing most of your problems, you just don't see it.

 

[africngiant]

You're caught in a negative spiral and your attitude to it is definitely not helping. In fact, you're probably causing most of your problems, you just don't see it.

it is what it is. im never gonna stop being annoyed about my specific situation but im still going to therapy

 

[Morethan1]

I think anyone who posts here is at least part loner


The non loners are on regular social media

This

 

[Duke Wy Lin]

it is what it is. im never gonna stop being annoyed about my specific situation but im still going to therapy

Keep going bro. But as a brother who is in his mid 30s, I'd advise you to not succumb to self pity and resentment to cope with your feelings of underachievement. They will stifle your sense of agency and control over your life and you'll end up losing even more time. I've seen it happen over and over again.

I'd also tell you to stop comparing your progress in life to some idealized image of other ppls lives. Plenty of ppl who get off to a good start end up crashing in their 30s. Many who settled down early are going through marital/relationship problems. Everybody is carrying their own burdens, we just don't see them.

But you already know all this

 

[WesCrook]

I can turn it off and an on. I’m cool being by myself or with someone I’m interested in or I can be in a crowd of people and crack jokes. I stopped fukking with big social media when I went thru a down time in my life. I closed myself off so I could build myself up again but not being involved consistently turned into a habit so now looking at it from the outside it looks like a waste of time to me now.

I do the Bruce Wayne thing too

 

[KingsOfKings]

Yup

 

[TheArchitect]

Not exactly a loner, but have been single for quite some time....

Starting to get old....

 

[Tres Leches]

Leave me alone.

Let me just live my life

 

[ItsPeople]

One thing I would say or give advice to brehs in their formative years is to try and cultivate as much friendships as possible, call often and try to hang as much as possible.

Also family is very important, your friends can choose to like your but your family has to love you.

If don’t want to have a big family, make sure you grow your seed up in a neighborhood where they feel comfortable, expose them to as much as possible. Love them unconditionally and be their beacon on how to conduct themselves in this society.

I made some mistakes in my teens but mistakes are made to be learning experiences, my son and future kids will be guided according.

 

[humminbird]

Yes

 

[NoirDynosaur]

Yes and no.

I'm an introvert so I prefer my own company but I can also be talkative and active depending on the people and the vibe.
Life just turned my heart cold because I had to learn quickfast that some people just don't appreciate you like that or want the best for you.

I used to be the type of person who would always go the extra mile for people, check on them, be a people pleaser but half the time I wasn't receiving the same energy and I ended up being taken advantage of. I didn't know how to say no to people simply because I wanted to belong and to fit in and this type of thing stems from my childhood (being an outcast, struggling to fit in anywhere).

Now I am content with not having too many people around or enjoying my own company more. It's made me emotionally and mentally stronger.
I have a small circle friends who I kick it with and speak to, that's all.

They call this code-switching aka being an ambivert, when you socialize you get into extrovert mode but when you're alone you recharge.

People pleasing will cost a person emotionally. I was a massive people pleaser during my adolescence. I stopped cause I realize people are walking hollow NPCs lol. This comment gonna get me trouble, but the majority of adults just seem emotionally dead inside, in their eyes, they look like their personality was beaten the fukk outta them LMAO. Children at least still have that youthful optimistic spirit in them till they get into the real world.

Like you, I never fit it in because I was different. My personality is a living enigma. I Intimidate a lot of people because I didn't give a fukk about the outcome I was very raw and assertive like the rapper DMX. People respect authenticity because the world is full of fakeness and deception, a lot of people are too fukking scared to show their real personality because the fear of being judged. Fitting in is overrated Being liminal makes you a leader.

I agree that energy is captivating. When you meet someone with energetic vibe, you're captivated by them because the energy is infectious. They stand out.

 

[Complexion]

the majority of adults just seem emotionally dead inside, in their eyes, they look like their personality was beaten the fukk outta them LMAO. Children at least still have that youthful optimistic spirit in them till they get into the real world.

I call this process Adulteration.

Its amazing how many people choose not to notice it when its so obvious that a child comes into the world sparkling and is then beaten to their knees and charged an arm and leg for the privilege of staying there for the rest of their existence whilst the System does its thing.

Nobody questions this. They just accept it as the way it is.

It can, of course, be undone but people are so fixed/rigid/attached to their emotional deadening that they'd rather drag themselves over broken glass than examine their inner realm and the energetic baggage of the past that haunts the present and generates the resistance hence Adulteration as what was once pure and free flowing now isn't.

The rest of society is actually a coping mechanism designed to hide this fact away from peoples awareness by various deceptions, both personal and commercial.

 

[drederick tatum]

Let me just live my life

I ain't botherin nobody

 

[old pig]

ya didn’t bother me when I was younger tho bcuz it was easier meeting new ppl

 

[Anton]

I'm becoming more solitary than I was. Sure I enjoy the odd evening with friends and the occasional crowded event, but the older I get the more precious hours spent with myself become. Not just making art, although that’s a big part of it. But walking in woods alone; or staring at a fire allowing my thoughts to roam where they will; or lost in a book.