Anyone else constantly having issues dealing with women that put up walls?

[Thatrogueassdiaz]

Dawg, I can't tell you the last time I meet a woman who wasn't so emotionally scarred that they don't have a wall up/refuse to believe you are who you say you are. It's constant man. The bad part is that shyt is a trigger for me. I've had issues dealing with cold women just about my whole life, so as soon as I meet a chick who has a wall up and isn't expressive or intimate like that I instantly get anxious. shyt takes me back to childhood when I used to have to deal with a woman's anxiety and emotional distance. shyt my mom used to act like that to punish me for doing something she didn't like...would go days without talking to me . As soon as I figure out a girl is like that I have to remind myself to walk away.

I went out with a girl Monday who was like that. Super insecure, big emotional walls up, etc. We talked about it and she told me that she is trying to figure out who I am first before she opens up . Like she can't even trust what I say or my intentions. I go by Ernest Hemingway philosophy--trust people until they give you a reason not to. I can't deal with some non trusting ass bytch too scared to trust or believe anyone. fukk that.

Anyone have this problem?

 

[Critical Distance]

the ones that actually like you not gonna do this...

shyt my mom used to act like that to punish me for doing something she didn't like...would go days without talking to me .

This is just cruel.

 

[kdslittlebro]

I go by Ernest Hemingway philosophy--trust people until they give you a reason not to.

That’s gonna be a no for me big dawg

 

[WesCrook]

A woman with emotional baggage is far worse than any other baggage (kids, finances, etc).

Dump her and dump her fast...

 

[getmoney310cpt]

I had this one bytch I been trying to get at for awhile she finally cave in we start communicating trying to build rapport one of first things the bytch ask me is “do I live by myself”..I got two spots and told her this but I still ghosted her off the principle that she is judging me off some checklist she got when she probly still live with her moms

 

[Roid Jones]

Yep and it's the reason things with my last potential wifey ended. I tried, I talked, I showed my hand but her PTSD was too deep.

 

[Kiyoshi-Dono]

Everybody is damaged..
Some more than others...
But if that person is not willing to work out their issues..
You can’t force them too...
So it’s kind of a double edge sword in the sense that having walls up only hurts the individual..
But it’s also good to have your walls up until you feel comfortable..
It’s a lot of scumbag men and women outchea..
Looking for prey..
So you can’t fault somebody who is not trusting right off the bat...
The real question I pose..
Is the young lady worth it?
Do you see her more than just a dash?
Are you willing to be patient?
I firmly believe that women only truly love or like a dude 3 times on their lives..
Their first love
That second love around their mid 20s -30s
Third love (if) they get divorced or separate from the first two...
That’s why a lot of women go back instead of forward in relationships...
*disclaimer before coli brehettes kill me*
These are just some personal observations I lived through and seen with homegirls..
So take what you will with this information but you can’t fault someone that doesn’t open up immediately..
Sometimes walking away if you answered no to all my questions..
Is better and hopefully the are introspective enough to fix their issues..

 

[Thatrogueassdiaz]

the ones that actually like you not gonna do this...



This is just cruel.

Absolutely not true. I've fukked girls with walls up. That has nothing to do with it. I once had a bytch cut me off even though we were fukk buddies because she refused to have any emotion as friends. Again, that's not it at all.

 

[lespaulultra3]

Your mom sounds like a narcissist.

 

[CarmelBarbie]

Your mom used to give you the silent treatment? I'm sorry to hear that, that's crazy to do that to a child.

 

[GhettoTeK]

I Digg the trust others until they give you a reason not to statement. I would say its all about patience, sometimes you have to compromise if the relationship is worth it.

 

[YouMadd?]

If you like her and just continue putting the time in, she will open up. If you can’t handle that emotionally, then move on.

 

[Thatrogueassdiaz]

A woman with emotional baggage is far worse than any other baggage (kids, finances, etc).

Dump her and dump her fast...

I've never met a chick who had walls up initially that didn't have baggage. And it NEVER works out for me. It's always some bullshyt I have to navigate around and one little thing I do wrong brings me back to the wall. I talked to the girl today and we decided not to talk anymore. She felt I was trying to make her be something isn't and that she's not willing to put her walls down.

Everybody is damaged..
Some more than others...
But if that person is not willing to work out their issues..
You can’t force them too...
So it’s kind of a double edge sword in the sense that having walls up only hurts the individual..
But it’s also good to have your walls up until you feel comfortable..
It’s a lot of scumbag men and women outchea..
Looking for prey..
So you can’t fault somebody who is not trusting right off the bat...
The real question I pose..
Is the young lady worth it?
Do you see her more than just a dash?
Are you willing to be patient?
I firmly believe that women only truly love or like a dude 3 times on their lives..
Their first love
That second love around their mid 20s -30s
Third love (if) they get divorced or separate from the first two...
That’s why a lot of women go back instead of forward in relationships...
*disclaimer before coli brehettes kill me*
These are just some personal observations I lived through and seen with homegirls..
So take what you will with this information but you can’t fault someone that doesn’t open up immediately..
Sometimes walking away if you answered no to all my questions..
Is better and hopefully the are introspective enough to fix their issues..

Naw. Bringing in walls is just bringing in past issues. It's different when you want to go slow to make sure. It's another thing when you're telling me your ex husband cheated on you and so had your ex boyfriend and you have past issues. My rule is that if a chick brings up her past relationships within the first few weeks of talking she's fukked up and not over her problems.

I Digg the trust others until they give you a reason not to statement. I would say its all about patience, sometimes you have to compromise if the relationship is worth it.

I agree if she is worth it. Unfortunately people with emotional problems aren't worth it to me. We all have past problems. My issue is I can't fukk with you If I can't trust you won't lose trust in me over something stupid. People who don't trust people don't trust themselves. When you trust yourself you are confident about what you're perceiving. When you don't trust regardless it's because you don't trust your own perception. That's problematic

 

[Womb Raider]

That's only worth dealing with if the woman in question is worth it: i.e. shares the same relationship values that you do.

I personally wouldn't deal with someone who puts walls up unless I already knew their character. I'm not doing that with strangers. That's too risky.

 

[Cat piss martini]

i'm not in the business of putting broken
things back together.