As much as I love my wife....

[MikelArteta]

This nikka is obsessed with that man wife being a cheater

 

[TrueEpic08]

i'm not just gonna bounce. but i am close to the edge. I'm trying not to lose my head, ah huh-huh-huh. () but for real, i got one more shot in me, but 2012 is it. if it doesn't turn around by years end, i'm out. so that's what.....6 1/2 months? that's all i have left. i refuse to start a new year with old problems from previous years. i'm over it. 1 last ditch effort, and i'm done after that. i'm 35, got a lucrative career, am handsome, responsible, and a faithful s/o. i'm a catch and I know it. so things better shape up soon between us or i'll have to do what i gotta do....

Liggins has pretty much had it right throughout the thread, but I think this and this attitude in general needs to be addressed.

Now, it seems that, other than the distance, you two are still at least cordial. Because of that, and your attitude toward the marriage at this time, this is the absolute WORST thing you could do at this point. Doesn't matter if you're cheating, she's cheating or whatever, all this does is prolong the inevitable and create more chances for people to wound one another.

And you say you still love her, but the spark of the relationship isn't there. That's pretty much all of the signal that you need to know that you need to leave. If you try to dredge up feelings through "spontaneous gestures" or whatever, it will feel hollow, look hollow and it will be blatantly evident. It can only complicate the relationship more, especially since you've been together so long.

So just cut it loose. You don't have to tell her you suspect that she's cheating, you may not even need to get a divorce at this time. But a separation is absolutely needed. Just tell her that the emotional distance is symbolic of the fact that even if we love each other on some level, nothing of that is apparent in the relationship, and I'm not sure it ever will be. Be sure to tell the child as well.

As a 24 year old who never intends to marry and has no kids, this is my advice. Take it as you will.

 

[JasonSJackson]

you share that spouse

 

[Imhotep]

lemme add my 2cents and even play devils advocate...

We are getting a one sided story here. In as much as you invested 13 years, she did as well and its difficult to imagine she woke up one day and decided to flush that down the toilet....with a kid involved no less....

Maybe she has a story of something you said/did/didnt do, or something you used to do and dont do anymore etc that started the disconnect.
That surely doesnt excuse her behavior but before you have that talk consider that maybe your attention maybe has been diverted (work, etc).

Just a possibility

 

[Yinny]

I'd suggest you speak with married peers/older folks about the situation.

 

[Double Burger With Cheese]

Liggins has pretty much had it right throughout the thread, but I think this and this attitude in general needs to be addressed.

Now, it seems that, other than the distance, you two are still at least cordial. Because of that, and your attitude toward the marriage at this time, this is the absolute WORST thing you could do at this point. Doesn't matter if you're cheating, she's cheating or whatever, all this does is prolong the inevitable and create more chances for people to wound one another.

And you say you still love her, but the spark of the relationship isn't there. That's pretty much all of the signal that you need to know that you need to leave. If you try to dredge up feelings through "spontaneous gestures" or whatever, it will feel hollow, look hollow and it will be blatantly evident. It can only complicate the relationship more, especially since you've been together so long.

So just cut it loose. You don't have to tell her you suspect that she's cheating, you may not even need to get a divorce at this time. But a separation is absolutely needed. Just tell her that the emotional distance is symbolic of the fact that even if we love each other on some level, nothing of that is apparent in the relationship, and I'm not sure it ever will be. Be sure to tell the child as well.

As a 24 year old who never intends to marry and has no kids, this is my advice. Take it as you will.

 

[Steve Piffler]

Liggins has pretty much had it right throughout the thread, but I think this and this attitude in general needs to be addressed.

Now, it seems that, other than the distance, you two are still at least cordial. Because of that, and your attitude toward the marriage at this time, this is the absolute WORST thing you could do at this point. Doesn't matter if you're cheating, she's cheating or whatever, all this does is prolong the inevitable and create more chances for people to wound one another.

And you say you still love her, but the spark of the relationship isn't there. That's pretty much all of the signal that you need to know that you need to leave. If you try to dredge up feelings through "spontaneous gestures" or whatever, it will feel hollow, look hollow and it will be blatantly evident. It can only complicate the relationship more, especially since you've been together so long.

So just cut it loose. You don't have to tell her you suspect that she's cheating, you may not even need to get a divorce at this time. But a separation is absolutely needed. Just tell her that the emotional distance is symbolic of the fact that even if we love each other on some level, nothing of that is apparent in the relationship, and I'm not sure it ever will be. Be sure to tell the child as well.

As a 24 year old who never intends to marry and has no kids, this is my advice. Take it as you will.

good advice. but i feel like i need to give it one last ditch effort. if it doesn't work i'm done. i think 6 months is enough to guage that. maybe i'll know sooner. but i feel like i need to give it another shot.

shyt is sooooo unnecessary....

 

[Steve Piffler]

lemme add my 2cents and even play devils advocate...

We are getting a one sided story here. In as much as you invested 13 years, she did as well and its difficult to imagine she woke up one day and decided to flush that down the toilet....with a kid involved no less....

Maybe she has a story of something you said/did/didnt do, or something you used to do and dont do anymore etc that started the disconnect.
That surely doesnt excuse her behavior but before you have that talk consider that maybe your attention maybe has been diverted (work, etc).

Just a possibility

yes. definitely. and this is the reason why i wanna talk it out and try to work on our issues before i call it quits. i'm not perfect, breh. so i realize that maybe it's something that i'm not doing or doing that needs to be addressed. i'm absolutely aware of that. it would be a lot easier to cut and run if i KNEW that i was doing EVERYTHING that i'm supposed to be doing, and she's just being a bytch. but that's not the case....

 

[BAMBA]

I have always found that shower sex is great for breaking the tension. Just walk in on her and

 

[SolesKing305]

I have always found that shower sex is great for breaking the tension. Just walk in on her and

 

[Steve Piffler]

give me some ideas to spark shyt up around the house. break the sexual tension. we have been together for 13 years and our sex life is getting to be from my perspective, so i know she probably feels the same. so help a nikka with some tips from younger brehs/ladies....

 

[Kalik]

Keylogger on laptop
SMS backup on Android phones

-----
Start making home movies... fun for now, and if she leaves. You got heat

 

[Steve Piffler]

Keylogger on laptop
SMS backup on Android phones

breh.....i'm not gonna do that....

 

[Kalik]

breh.....i'm not gonna do that....

 

[2gunsup]

I'd say just fukk her in the ass