At 28, how the hell did I get HERE AND WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING!!

Micky Mikey

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THIS IS A RANT. IF YOU ARE YOUNG OR OLDER (AND STILL HAVE A GLIMMER OF HOPE FOR YOUR LIFE) LEARN FROM THIS!

I'm approaching 29 and I'm no where near my childhood dream of being rich, famous and/or wealthy. At times I look at my life and have doubt that I'll ever make it out this rat race. I know this is a weak mindset and will ultimately keep me stuck. I wish I could miraculously hit the lotto or think of a million dollar idea that will land me a deal on shark tank, but it hasn't happened and may never will. As I get older and older I'm seeing my long desire for wealth and freedom slip away. About 1/3 of my life has already gone by. Soon I will be old and decrepit , bitter that I never had the balls to take the necessary risks for wealth attainment. What once was a bright young man who felt invincible is slowly turning into a weak, no balls having man suckered into the life of being a perpetual wage slave like most of everyone else.

If I truly had the balls, I'd leave my job behind, leave my relationship with my gf, leave my family and start all over again. Most of my life I've either sacrificed my true desires to make others feel comfortable or let others opinion of me dictate how I felt about myself.

I listened to my parents who told me to go to school, be a slave until you are half dead and try to enjoy retirement before dying shortly afterwards.I finished school and accumulated unnecessary debt to make them feel happy, never truly asking myself "is this right for me".

I listened to my first boss in corp America who inadvertently said I'd never amount to anything in this field because I lack the drive and passion and suggested that find I something else. I should have taken heed to her prophetic words and truly questioned my intent. Instead, I took her words as a personal attack and allowed her harsh criticism to define who I was as person entirely.

I listened to teachers and family members growing up saying I'd never amount to anything. Everyone's doubt in me is part of what pushed me to go to a university and finish in the first place. I should have take all their criticism and shyt and used it as fuel to attain true fulfillment for my life. Reaching fulfillment for my life didn't involve going to school and excelling in academia. Sure, it it felt good to impress my childhood doubters but that feeling is long gone. Three years after graduation I'm still 50k in debt and working in a field I don't have much passion for. Whose truly laughing now? Not me.....not any more.

To anyone still reading this pointless rant, if you have an ounce of drive in you, always follow your first gut( intuition) . Do not let anyone determine how you perceive yourself or your future. Take the time and ask your self what THE HELL you are truly doing with your life....NO SERIOUSLY, TAKE THE TIME TO DO THIS! Even if you have to take a full year and go in complete solitude, DO IT! Because before you know it, you will be obligated to commitments based off decisions you made in the past.
Our lives are short on this planet. Some of us will die soon. Some of us will die many years from now. No matter what WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE (or at least in the physical sense) . Everyone YOU'VE EVER KNOWN, SEEN, OR HEARD IS EITHER ALREADY DEAD OR ON THEIR WAY TOWARDS TO THEIR CELESTIAL DIRTNAP. AND SO ARE YOU!
Why then should it matter what others think? Why then should you feel obligated to keep up with the status quo and live your life according to societal/family/cultural norms.
fukk THAT shyt!
LIVE YOUR fukkING THE WAY YOU WANT YOU WANT OR YOU WILL BE A SLAVE AND UNHAPPY LIKE ME
 
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Didnt read all this shyt looked like u was writing in ur diary fam but eh lemme school u if ur dreams fail start new ones or better yet sell crack and if u feel u will never find the love of ur life find a mean ass hooker. All that other stuff is bullshyt like success can we really define a mans success? All that matters is that were moving forward.




Im fukkin high so take wtvr i said into consideration or dont idc need answers phone ms cleo
 

Micky Mikey

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Breh you can live a life of happiness without being rich and famous. All I need in life is a down ass chick, a decent income, family, and God and I'm good to go. :banderas:

Yes that true. I have a down ass chick by my side, loving parents but my life is unfulfilled. We were all sent here to fulfill a purpose and I have yet to discover mines. it damn sure isn't sitting in front of computer screen 8 hours per day 5 days a week
 

GodinDaFlesh

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Yes that true. I have a down ass chick by my side, loving parents but my life is unfulfilled. We were all sent here to fulfill a purpose and I have yet to discover mines. it damn sure isn't sitting in front of computer screen 8 hours per day 5 days a week

Man I can relate. I'm 28 too. 20 years ago we were sitting on the couch watching Nickelodeon and Power Rangers thinking we would be living the life/changing the world by now. I'm still looking for "my purpose" as well. :manny:

As ridiculous as I used to think it sound, I've been giving God/religion a chance recently. I've already noticed a positive change in my outlook of life. :yeshrug:
 
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Micky Mikey

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Man I can relate. I'm 28 too. 20 years ago we were sitting on the couch watching Nickelodeon and Power Rangers thinking we would be living the life/changing the world by now. I'm still looking for "my purpose" as well. :manny:


Our time is slipping and we are doing nothing but getting older and older. Its nothing to shrug off. Life isn't promise to any of us and I meant that. I don't know how much longer I can go living unfulfilled or at least making no attempts to discover my lifes purpose. I feel I am at the tip of something big but I just don't know it yet. Perhaps some new insight or opportunity will come my way.
 
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