Attended a Black Men Brunch today.

[Mowgli]

Basically it was for 100 Black Men to come together, network, and talk about the main topic which was "Tough Love".

The event was supposed to start at 2. I roll there around 2:30 and I thought brunch would be popping off and prepared, but it wasn't ready until 2:45.

The guest speaker wanted us to talk about Tough Love and what it meant. In the middle of it a woman came and the speaker came and said "Stand up men! We got a queen here and she ain't got a man!" or something to that effect.

The rules also included no misogny or homophobia. I understand and agree with both but there are many spaces now where ones opinion, especially a Black man's can be misconstrued as bigoted so I thought that was some bullshyt there.

In his beginning topics he used the term "cis hetero straight men" more than once, to which I'm argue I'm not cis ANYTHING but I think he was being sensitive to some of the gay Black men there.

Those two combined made me think it was on some bullshyt.

We finally got food and did brief networking. Some Black men in the community were doing some good things trying to get young Black children transportation to school, fighting food insecurity, getting more Black people in tech. All good!

The conversation went back to the topic of tough love.

One thing that annoyed me was that the speaker was using tropes of men saying we don't talk about feelings. The speaker even said he just talked about feelings two weeks ago with his therapist and is "just learning about it"...so why are you speaking on it?!

Some people said tough love was out of necessity which I agree. I was waiting for someone to say that tough love was toxic but thankfully no one did.

The brunch speaker also gave me the impression that he just liked to hear himself talk. He is an activist in the community so I feel that he thinks he can speak on things.

Wish there was more networking and building instead of being lectured to. We didn't need a theme for us to come together. One breh said that he went to one last year and people talk talked but they aren't here today.

@hood b. goode invited me to it and I think we could do a better one that serves our community better

Tell them nikkas to talk about brothers needing trades. The importance of mastery.

Next topic. Fiscal responsibility.

Next topic. Being on the same page. Getting the woman to understand fiscal responsibility.

Next topic. How to pick a female.

Next topic. Keeping your family together.

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

Well give it E for effort! It’s a good start at least. Maybe this thread can share info on different forums and events that might be coming up for black men.

I’ve gone to several black female themed events that were really cool. There might be more black male themed events coming up. Good on you OP even tho this one might have sucked a little.

 

[Macallik86]

Another trope that annoyed me was he assumed most/all Black men didn't have a good relationship with their father or had no positive male influence around them.

I had a step father but I also had my uncle and grandfather around me to teach me things.

We don't all have this trauma or shared experience. I just get annoyed when people try to convince us as such and that makes me think we need a space where we can talk without trying to pander to others.

What about your natural father tho




No offense, but you shytting on dude for playing the odds while admitting that you are a statistic.

 

[ViShawn]

Well give it E for effort! It’s a good start at least. Maybe this thread can share info on different forums and events that might be coming up for black men.

I’ve gone to several black female themed events that were really cool. There might be more black male themed events coming up. Good on you OP even tho this one might have sucked a little.

I went to a Black Menswear event last April in Houston. I thought it was VERY impactful although maybe just superficial since it was Black men dressing in suits for photo ops.

The image of that though was powerful. All of us dressed to impressed in our best. All of us, blue collar, white collar, whatever seeing a reflection of themselves in other men.

Also - there was plenty of time for networking for a late lunch and we all set up a GroupMe chat to network afterwards. I though it was dope and want to go to another one again.

What about your natural father tho




No offense, but you shytting on dude for playing the odds while admitting that you are a statistic.

Recently reconnected with him and there are some circumstances surrounding it. I don't care though because IMO the man who took care of me, I loved, and call my father died a few years ago.

I feel you though. It's just Black trauma is tiring on my soul.

 

[Ahadi]

It was an 100 Black Men chapter?

The problem is creating positive themes instead of rehashing old BS statistics.

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

It was an 100 Black Men chapter?

The problem is creating positive themes instead of rehashing old BS statistics.

We need accurate statistics and info about our community b/c that’s part of the problem. A large amount of info produced on us is based off skewed statistics and faulty data, and of course racist ideas.

 

[ThrobbingHood]

Did Tyler Perry host the after party?

 

[hatealot]

Yo, for real, if there was ever a ColiCon or something of the sort I’m pulling up. Can you imagine that shyt? With special guest speakers “BrothaZay” and “Kamala_Harris” . Ranging from topics on ‘How to control your PAWG’ to ‘Get bread, broke nikka’ to ‘Is my puppy truly ADOS?’

If it's done in the same vain as black dynamite and everyone sticks to their online character. .

 

[TELL ME YA CHEESIN FAM?]

if you are invested in a community it seems to defeat the purpose to be all like "i don't like how you did this, f u, ima do my own thing".
when the whole point was to build
a lot of event type things i go to request feedback. maybe you can raise your points and they will improve and actually.... build and connect.
if they don't work on it, then yeah i guess you can leave it

This

 

[13473]

it sounds like the type of people who wrote that Harlem barbershop scene threw yall a brunch.

if i was in your shoes, i'd throw my own brunch.

 

[Jazzy B.]

Basically it was for 100 Black Men to come together, network, and talk about the main topic which was "Tough Love".

The event was supposed to start at 2. I roll there around 2:30 and I thought brunch would be popping off and prepared, but it wasn't ready until 2:45.

The guest speaker wanted us to talk about Tough Love and what it meant. In the middle of it a woman came and the speaker came and said "Stand up men! We got a queen here and she ain't got a man!" or something to that effect.

The rules also included no misogny or homophobia. I understand and agree with both but there are many spaces now where ones opinion, especially a Black man's can be misconstrued as bigoted so I thought that was some bullshyt there.

In his beginning topics he used the term "cis hetero straight men" more than once, to which I'm argue I'm not cis ANYTHING but I think he was being sensitive to some of the gay Black men there.

Those two combined made me think it was on some bullshyt.

We finally got food and did brief networking. Some Black men in the community were doing some good things trying to get young Black children transportation to school, fighting food insecurity, getting more Black people in tech. All good!

The conversation went back to the topic of tough love.

One thing that annoyed me was that the speaker was using tropes of men saying we don't talk about feelings. The speaker even said he just talked about feelings two weeks ago with his therapist and is "just learning about it"...so why are you speaking on it?!

Some people said tough love was out of necessity which I agree. I was waiting for someone to say that tough love was toxic but thankfully no one did.

The brunch speaker also gave me the impression that he just liked to hear himself talk. He is an activist in the community so I feel that he thinks he can speak on things.

Wish there was more networking and building instead of being lectured to. We didn't need a theme for us to come together. One breh said that he went to one last year and people talk talked but they aren't here today.

@hood b. goode invited me to it and I think we could do a better one that serves our community better

You were clearly at an LGBTQ/Feminist organized event .

No straight/heterosexual man uses the term "cis" and "tough love" is code for "fixing/calling out problematic black men". From an LGBT/Feminist lense that will always be straight black men.

 

[Buddy]

I tried to join 100 Black Men back when I graduated and them b*stards didn’t even acknowledge me to say no. I’m glad now

 

[13473]

I tried to join 100 Black Men back when I graduated and them b*stards didn’t even acknowledge me to say no. I’m glad now

i don't think that was the organization. the goal was to gather 100 black men

 

[RaspberryFitted]

What about your natural father tho




No offense, but you shytting on dude for playing the odds while admitting that you are a statistic.

I went to a Black Menswear event last April in Houston. I thought it was VERY impactful although maybe just superficial since it was Black men dressing in suits for photo ops.

The image of that though was powerful. All of us dressed to impressed in our best. All of us, blue collar, white collar, whatever seeing a reflection of themselves in other men.

Also - there was plenty of time for networking for a late lunch and we all set up a GroupMe chat to network afterwards. I though it was dope and want to go to another one again.



Recently reconnected with him and there are some circumstances surrounding it. I don't care though because IMO the man who took care of me, I loved, and call my father died a few years ago.

I feel you though. It's just Black trauma is tiring on my soul.

I fukk with both perspectives of this.

For @ViShawn’s point, I participated in Steve Harvey’s boys camp and most of the boys there either had a dad in jail or had a deadbeat that they HATED. Since my pops died, I truly couldn’t relate to what the mentors or other kids felt. I tried to sympathize or find a connection.. but I just couldn’t, and didn’t show up to the next meeting. My mom was in the other room and had the same experience — nothing about being a widow and moreso about dealing with an absent man. Sometimes I ponder if that was a great decision, if I could of learned more there.. but you made a great point in the fact we ALL don’t suffer through the same trauma.

for @Macallik86’s point, dudes are weaponizing other men’s lack of a father as an insult. “Fatherless behavior”. It’s baffling — we cried and went through the same shyt the only difference is you had a man to go to, I had either women or trial + error to confide in. Instead of dishing out gems or passing along the teachings their fathers gave em, they wanna gatekeep… some of these men raised bytches who hid behind having male figures in their lives. Being able to play spades and fix a table don’t negate the hoe tendencies.

overall, great back & forth.

 

[Taadow]

If muffuccas were so down with Tough Love,
they woulda understood if I flashed for having a late-ass brunch and still not having any food 45 minutes after it was suppose to start.