OP is right.
A woman I know turned from devoted wife, to sensible widow, to cult following "me first" hunbot MLM psycho overnight.
I thought I had seen it all but I am still getting over the shock.
The signs were always there and from now on I will pay attention to them.
Imagine doing what strangers tell you (while paying them money), while at the same time relegating people who have been there for you for 20 years+ and have never asked you for a dime to second place.
If you see a woman who is robotic and/or who does not have a sense of morality that she can EXPLAIN to you, that includes compassion, loyalty and a strong sense of following what is right ->

.
If she just follows and has no clear cut rational ideas of her own ->

.
If she is dependent on others to feel good about herself ->

.
It doesn't matter what she looks like. Don't ignore the signs and do not make excuses or "fill in the blanks" for her.
And no it ain't my wife. She is the widow of a good friend of mine and I am the godfather to their child.
Man married a low IQ individual who towed the line because he was around to tell her what to do. Now he is no longer there the restraints are off.

Personality comes first brehs.