i was with my girl and her friend at a hot dog shop that sells beer. the bar was pretty packed but there were two open seats so i told the women to sit over there and i would stand near them. there is this huge dude at the bar. and when i say huge i mean bodybuilder huge, wearing a muscle shirt, covered in what i assume to be grease. he looked like the sax player from the Lost Boys only super-diesel. so he starts hitting on the girls

and i am standing there like

while he keeps referring to me as "slim". i mean, i am slim so it's nothing for me to say he was telling the truth but goddamn man quit trying to bytch me in front of everyone.
during this he looks over at me and is like "alright slim, i am getting up and you can sit down." i roll my eyes at him and unknowingly give him the

and then he scoots his stool out and stands up and i look up like

and he says "you roll your eyes at me boy?" his pecs were the size of my head and he could have popped me like a zit. however, i had the feeling this guy was as dumb as a box of rocks so i said

"listen... you should probably make a bigger deal out of nothing". why i did this i will never know. well... i know why, it's because i am a smartass.
he looks down his nose at me and says, "you know i could kill you right now? do you think i am a coward? is that what you think?" i looked up at him and said

"absolutely not, i would prefer not to be killed." at this point i am waiting to die.

but dude is drunk and pissed and three employees at the bar come over and grab him and get him out of there before he can knock my head off.
he promptly goes to the UPSTAIRS BAR and i assume he is waiting for me. jesus christ. i ate my hot dogs and drank my beer fast as hell and we got our bikes and got the fukk out of there. i was happy there was no murder in that bar because i have lived a full life but not full enough. yikes.