I wish I could believe, but for some reason I just can't. So far this year I've read several books in the NT along with reading the OT from Genesis up to Leviticus in an attempt to become a Christian, and it just doesn't hit me or "move" me in any way; it just feels like I'm reading an old fairy tale.
This world is and always has been "Heaven on Earth" for those with wealth, few morals, and sociopathic tendencies. The classic excuse is that those who deserve to be punished for their misdeeds will EVENTUALLY get their comeuppance, but ONLY once they die and get judged. Until then, they basically get to live it up. Meanwhile, those who are suffering now but don't deserve it have to live in "Hell" until they die, ironically.
Especially with the past two recent shootings, the truth appears to be one of two possibilities:
1. There is no God, there is no karma, nothing you do in this world matters, whether good or bad, and as long as you're able to avoid the law you can be as heinous and evil as you want to and fear little to no repercussions.
2. There is a God, but the "God" that exists is simply a creative force, not an entity that actually gives a damn about what happens to human beings -- its own creations.
This is not meant as a diss to any of the Christians/religious people in this thread, in a way I envy you guys. But overall, religion just feels a coping mechanism for making sense out of a seemingly nonsensical existence to me.