Bill Simmons Leaving ESPN

[CrimsonTider]

Also to the people that say he doesn't need ESPN are letting your hate for that network blind you to how much of monopoly they have on sports media and programming.

Bill Simmons has will never be bigger than he is with ESPN now.

It's going to be a rapid decline with whatever move he makes next

 

[Savior]

Billy gonna get paid regardless. Is he worth that money? Really depends on how you define worth, and what determines worth in the sports market.

The last time I read a Bill Simmons column was 2008. At that point his writing had become so offensively bad that I was alternating between grimacing, raising my eyebrow like The Rock, and laughing out loud from one paragraph to the next. This particular column was about going to the All Star Game in New Orleans after Katrina. This was the paragraph that provoked all three of the aforementioned reactions at once:

"There's no question. I'm having a moment. I'm having one those I'm-in-a-movie, larger-than-life moments that can happen only in New Orleans. And right as it's happening, almost on cue, a tattered white van pulls up to the stop sign directly in front of me.

An older black guy is driving. He looks like he has aged 10 years in the past three. He's gazing ahead in silence, lost in his own thoughts, oblivious to the stares from the out-of-towner covered in powdered sugar. Meanwhile, his car radio happens to be blaring a classic Tupac song, and what's really blowing my mind is that it's the chorus of the perfect song for this particular moment. If you froze the moment and asked me to pick a song, I would have picked this song. And now it's playing. And I'm frozen in midbite. I can't believe it. I'm standing there in complete disbelief.

Keep ya head up … ooooh child, things are gonna get easier … keep ya head up … ooooh child, things will get brighter.

Is this really happening?

Ooooh child, things are gonna get easier … keep ya head up … ooooh child, things will get brighter.

And just like that, he drove away."

Simmons is a bad writer, who relies heavily on an audience who is just as misguided in its perception of "cool" as he is, and who have a smugness about them that is completely out of step with any actual insight into sports but who believe they are expert on sports, music, movies, and culture. It's a noxious mix. But I saw its appeal back then, and I still get it.

Ok his writing is childish.....but is there any denying that 30 for 30 is by far the best thing ESPN's put out? Or that Grantland easily puts out some of the best sports related articles on the net? Even if you don't like his writing there's no denying the man has an eye for good entertainment

 

[fact]

Hence my "Bill simmons is the single worst analyst of basketball that has ever been given a platform" thread a year ago

In my opinion he does nothing exceptional and his perspectives never provoke thought.

I don't understand how he got to be so big.

Because hipsters and 80's babies nostalgia. Not hipsters in the sense they are associated with mustaches and beards and non prescription glasses, but he tapped into the pop culture genre of sports journalism like no one ever before (not saying he was great at it, but he nailed it popularity wise).

 

[mastermind]

The circumstances have changed; the writing has not. Simmons circa 2000 wouldn’t have been choosing which of those two events to attend—he’d have been writing insufferable gobbledygook about Is this the greatest TV night in sports history? I’ve got it as a “Brother, You Are Going Down” on the Sports Greatness TV Night Heat Quotes Scale ... It’s a good thing they’re not on at the same time, or my remote control hand would be as worn out as Houston at the end of The World’s Biggest Gangbang 3. Definitely a Remote Hand Punishment all-timer. If that seems more appealing to you, that’s because you’re more willing to accept graphorrheic nonsense and shameless pandering from an insurgent upstart than from a rich celebrity.

this is real as fukk. I cannot relate to Simmons anymore. Its why I stopped checking for his writings.

You did. You are not 19 anymore. You matured, read other, better writers, and eventually discovered the difference between an analogy and a reference, between affectation and personality, between pointless maundering and having something to say. You grew to prefer coherence over in-group signaling. You figured out that writing that claps you on the back and congratulates you for being careless and white and male and steeped in mainstream pop culture is the precise opposite of subversive. You lost your taste for Bill Simmons, whose writing is bad. You grew up. Good for you! Growing up is cool.

this is true, but it applies more to SLAM magazine than Simmons.

I stopped reading SLAM in college once i realized how terrible those writers were.

 

[threattonature]

One of the only honest assessments of Simmons I've ever read:

http://deadspin.com/bill-simmons-is-a-shytty-writer-1703163076

An excerpt:

The circumstances have changed; the writing has not. Simmons circa 2000 wouldn’t have been choosing which of those two events to attend—he’d have been writing insufferable gobbledygook about Is this the greatest TV night in sports history? I’ve got it as a “Brother, You Are Going Down” on the Sports Greatness TV Night Heat Quotes Scale ... It’s a good thing they’re not on at the same time, or my remote control hand would be as worn out as Houston at the end of The World’s Biggest Gangbang 3. Definitely a Remote Hand Punishment all-timer. If that seems more appealing to you, that’s because you’re more willing to accept graphorrheic nonsense and shameless pandering from an insurgent upstart than from a rich celebrity.

That’s not entirely unreasonable. If Simmons understood how analogies work, he himself might liken it to how, say, Trevor Ariza’s lousy handle and glacial first step didn’t seem like big weaknesses when he was the intriguing young D-and-3 wing lightening Kobe Bryant’s workload, but made him woefully inadequate when the Houston Rockets foolishly paid him to be a star. Context and expectations change our perceptions, sure—but, they didn’t change Trevor Ariza’s game. His handle really is shyt. Bill Simmons’s writing really is bad.

So, if his writing was always shytty, and fame and access actually improved his skill-set, then why don’t you like Simmons as much as you used to? What changed?

You did. You are not 19 anymore. You matured, read other, better writers, and eventually discovered the difference between an analogy and a reference, between affectation and personality, between pointless maundering and having something to say. You grew to prefer coherence over in-group signaling. You figured out that writing that claps you on the back and congratulates you for being careless and white and male and steeped in mainstream pop culture is the precise opposite of subversive. You lost your taste for Bill Simmons, whose writing is bad. You grew up. Good for you! Growing up is cool.

I have no idea whether Simmons’s other skills justify the millions hiring him likely will cost. Maybe? Who knows. Whichever gazillionaire wins the auction, I hope he budgets enough leftover cash for a second, less flashy purchase: a tough and skilled and empowered editor. Bill Simmons needs one, because his writing is bad.

To me this article is the equivalent of one of the underground "super-lyrical" rappers complaining about mainstream rappers. I've always more enjoyed simple writing that can get a point across without having to going overboard trying to show off their vocabulary. Dude in the article is using a whole lot of words to reiterate the same point over and over. Simmons is basically fast food writing but that's all a lot of people want. The complaint is similar to the criticisms levied at Jay-Z. If he raps about selling drugs part of the crowd will bytch about how he's rich so why's he still rapping about drug dealing. When he raps about his money and the lifestyle he is living now others complain saying they miss the old Jay-Z. That's how this guy comes off complaining about Simmons deciding which sporting event he wants to go to. A lot of fans probably fukk with that due to feeling like one of them made it and imagining themselves in that position and like Simmons takes them into a world they wish they had access to.

Don't get me wrong I get Simmons limitations as a writer. But the same way a rapper's rapper or a producer's producer usually aren't making sales, I feel the same way about writers. A lot of times the most in depth and talented writers that other writers love will probably never sniff a best seller's list. Meanwhile 50 Shades will keep flying off the shelves and Simmons will get a huge contract somewhere due to relating more to the masses who prefer to keep it simple.

 

[Kang Deezy]

For you and the other person who said Bill Simmons was a Rubio skeptic



Ricky Rubio, A hybrid of Scottie Pippen and Magic Johnson. And you people value his basketball knowledge. His ice must be so much colder. But wait, there's more:



They should have taken Rubio instead of Harden, he said. He's a once in a generation passer, he said.

Everybody felt this way about Rubio back then

 

[Walt]

Ok his writing is childish.....but is there any denying that 30 for 30 is by far the best thing ESPN's put out? Or that Grantland easily puts out some of the best sports related articles on the net? Even if you don't like his writing there's no denying the man has an eye for good entertainment

In fairness to the author, he acknowledged those positives early in his diatribe. If you click the link you'll see that.

To me this article is the equivalent of one of the underground "super-lyrical" rappers complaining about mainstream rappers. I've always more enjoyed simple writing that can get a point across without having to going overboard trying to show off their vocabulary. Dude in the article is using a whole lot of words to reiterate the same point over and over. Simmons is basically fast food writing but that's all a lot of people want. The complaint is similar to the criticisms levied at Jay-Z. If he raps about selling drugs part of the crowd will bytch about how he's rich so why's he still rapping about drug dealing. When he raps about his money and the lifestyle he is living now others complain saying they miss the old Jay-Z. That's how this guy comes off complaining about Simmons deciding which sporting event he wants to go to. A lot of fans probably fukk with that due to feeling like one of them made it and imagining themselves in that position and like Simmons takes them into a world they wish they had access to.

Don't get me wrong I get Simmons limitations as a writer. But the same way a rapper's rapper or a producer's producer usually aren't making sales, I feel the same way about writers. A lot of times the most in depth and talented writers that other writers love will probably never sniff a best seller's list. Meanwhile 50 Shades will keep flying off the shelves and Simmons will get a huge contract somewhere due to relating more to the masses who prefer to keep it simple.

I think comparing Simmons to Jay-Z is way off. He's more like a Billy Joel or Flo-Rida type. I can overlook all kinds of limitations if I can get something - anything - out of a sports column. But there came a point very early where I truly couldn't find a single worthwhile thing in a Simmons piece. Between his insufferably authoritative take on sports, music, and culture; his insipid references to his dim friends, sitcoms, movies, and pop stars; and his flat out terrible writing it was impossible for me to find anything at all worth reading. Which seemed to increase his popularity - it was sports for non-sports fans who really liked acting like they knew about sports. Which was his hook, and a damn appealing one in our culture. But I seriously can get more interesting basketball insight from 5 posts from @Malta and @Gil Scott-Heroin than I can from all of Bill Simmons' columns and mailbags, ever.

 

[Walt]

Everybody felt this way about Rubio back then

fukk no everybody didn't.

 

[Dirty D]

sports for non-sports fans who really liked acting like they knew about sports.

This is Simmons' wheelhouse, and why he is so popular. Excellent description.

 

[Squirrel from Meteor Man]

Everybody felt this way about Rubio back then

Lol. No, they absolutely did not. Bill Simmons and David Khan were the only 2 who thought he was a league changing player.

 

[SHAQAVELLI]

I'm not a fan of Bill's writing. But it's a unique style and it clicks with readers, so I can't knock that hustle.

His podcasts are entertaining and the guy really knows his sports, especially basketball. He's got great ideas and an even better eye for talent, as he showed in the stable of writers he hired at Grantland. ESPN really gave that dude the perfect vehicle(s) to become a star.

So, it's unfortunate he's a whiny baby and the sports journalism equivalent of a star player whose talent is not worth the headaches.

 

[Piff Huxtable]

Everybody felt this way about Rubio back then

hell no

 

[Squirrel from Meteor Man]

Simmons should get credit for 30 for 30, but it's not a revolutionary idea. He gets EP credits, but outside of a few, he's had nothing to do with them.

If anything, it speaks to the level of creativity and intelligence of ESPN that they never thought of a sports documentary series before he brought it up.

 

[Frump]

Deadspin is awful

 

[Floyd Pinkerton]

This may be the greatest comment in DS traditionally unfunny comment section

Self-important blowhard Deadspin commenters