Black woman stepped in and put the POC Latina in her place.

[invalid]

gonna diverge from the thread topic a bit but it's becoming increasingly cringe to me when i hear black men say that their preference for black women centers around struggle bonding.

i get it, but the phrasing just don't sit right with me. it shortchanges black women simply reducing them to just being sympathetic understanding comrades to our circumstances when they are much more than that. they actually embody the full expression of our culture.

and with black men, in centering struggle as the glue that binds, we merge struggle with our identity. and some of you may say "is it not"? yes, yes it is. but it's something about the constant verbalisation and centralising of it that reifies something in our collective subconsciousness that i don't particularly like. its almost like it leaves no room for power, dominance, authority. and i can't think of any other race of men whose manhood is linked with a particular struggle or plight. not saying this isn't the case but i don't know any that lead with it.

if i could suggest we start modifying our language with respect to how we express our relationship dynamic with our women. a better response, at least for me, would've been something like "my preference is for black women because it is my desire that my children be the inheritors of blackness and black culture in all its fullness." with this, we understand struggle is a facet of black culture but we're not leading with it and not centering our relationship with black women on it. it communicates our pride in what we have and wanting to transmit it down. and it doesn't devalue ourselves as men or our women especially in front of other groups of people.

 

[O³ (O cubed)]

I don't know where that Latina is from, but she's built like a Mexican.

 

[Inokja]

gonna diverge from the thread topic a bit but it's becoming increasingly cringe to me when i hear black men say that their preference for black women centers around struggle bonding.

i get it, but the phrasing just don't sit right with me. it shortchanges black women simply reducing them to just being sympathetic understanding comrades to our circumstances when they are much more than that. they actually embody the full expression of our culture.

and with black men, in centering struggle as the glue that binds, we merge struggle with our identity. and some of you may say "is it not"? yes, yes it is. but it's something about the constant verbalisation and centralising of it that reifies something in our collective subconsciousness that i don't particularly like. its almost like it leaves no room for power, dominance, authority. and i can't think of any other race of men whose manhood is linked with a particular struggle or plight. not saying this isn't the case but i don't know any that lead with it.

if i could suggest we start modifying our language with respect to how we express our relationship dynamic with our women. a better response, at least for me, would've been something like "my preference is for black women because it is my desire that my children be the inheritors of blackness and black culture in all its fullness." with this, we understand struggle is a facet of black culture but we're not leading with it and not centering our relationship with black women on it. it communicates our pride in what we have and wanting to transmit it down. and it doesn't devalue ourselves as men or our women especially in front of other groups of people.

I feel it is due to a lack of refined vocabulary. An ethnic group can say, 'I want somebody of my ethnic group, because we share the same culture'. It is the same for religion, and potentially the same for nationality. See also, political alignment, etc.

"black" can refer to ethnicity (capital 'B'lack), race, etc depending on context. Its pretty vague, so the explanations for "wanting to be with a black person" can potentially veer off course leading to the types of things you speak of in your quote. Though your suggestions of modifying language can work in racial context as well.

 

[Kiyoshi-Dono]

gonna diverge from the thread topic a bit but it's becoming increasingly cringe to me when i hear black men say that their preference for black women centers around struggle bonding.

i get it, but the phrasing just don't sit right with me. it shortchanges black women simply reducing them to just being sympathetic understanding comrades to our circumstances when they are much more than that. they actually embody the full expression of our culture.

and with black men, in centering struggle as the glue that binds, we merge struggle with our identity. and some of you may say "is it not"? yes, yes it is. but it's something about the constant verbalisation and centralising of it that reifies something in our collective subconsciousness that i don't particularly like. its almost like it leaves no room for power, dominance, authority. and i can't think of any other race of men whose manhood is linked with a particular struggle or plight. not saying this isn't the case but i don't know any that lead with it.

if i could suggest we start modifying our language with respect to how we express our relationship dynamic with our women. a better response, at least for me, would've been something like "my preference is for black women because it is my desire that my children be the inheritors of blackness and black culture in all its fullness." with this, we understand struggle is a facet of black culture but we're not leading with it and not centering our relationship with black women on it. it communicates our pride in what we have and wanting to transmit it down. and it doesn't devalue ourselves as men or our women especially in front of other groups of people.

Black women say the same thing as to why they want black men
Because she also wants someone that understands her struggles
You cornball coli son husbands are the bane of existence and just find any and everything to shyt on black heterosexual males for no reason
Undercover LSA faq hags and cosplayers run amuck on this website

 

[R=G]

Hmmmm....in all truth..they both could understand the plight of a black man. Black woman and Latina. You cant generalize....alot of new age black women come off as money hungry tricks...alot of new age Latina girls lack backbones too. Point is..you better learn how to read people.

 

[Justin Nitsuj]

And this video just adds to why I don’t date outside my race and also adds to the reason why I don’t refer to myself as a “person of color”.
No one who isn’t Black can fully understand the plight the Black man goes through.
We get prejudged and discriminated against before anyone takes the time to know us first.
And we still have to deal with bytch ass cacs lynching us.
It’s more to it, so none of these so called women of color can understand a Black man’s plight more than a Black woman does.

 

[Sauce Mane]

Is he wearing sleeveless sweater?

 

[Low End Derrick]

Who got the @ for the thick thighed sista?

 

[LuuqMaan]

Who got the @ for the thick thighed sista?

Took too long to be asked

 

[Devil Plisken…CMS]

nikka it was divisive. Tf? Lol.

Current Events…That poster is not black. He had no clue who Kandi Buress is lol

 

[invalid]

"black" can refer to ethnicity (capital 'B'lack), race, etc depending on context.

we know what it means within the american context. there is no ambiguity that it's being used in the ethnic sense.

because if it was a yoruba man, he would mention he's looking for a yoruba woman.

a haitian man, a haitian woman.
a somali man, a somali woman.
so on and so forth.

it makes no sense to think a black American man who say his preference is for black woman because they understand his struggle and think that this statement is open to an ethiopian or kenyan woman who was not assimilated into black american culture.

 

[SheWantTheD]

What’s the point of the video???

 

[Voice of Reason]

Only FbA women for me

 

[invalid]

You cornball coli son husbands

irony

Black women say the same thing

but but but black women do it too head ass..
take ya cues from black women then.
wait for them to tell you how to move.

prima facie of the "son husband" ya curmudgeon ass trying to project onto others.

this conversation was for black men who are "heads" and not "tails" and to set the tone for how we communicate our relationship to our women in front of others who can be perceived as enemies.

run along, conversation ain't for you....

 

[Inokja]

we know what it means within the american context. there is no ambiguity that it's being used in the ethnic sense.

because if it was a yoruba man, he would mention he's looking for a yoruba woman.

a haitian man, a haitian woman.
a somali man, a somali woman.
so on and so forth.

it makes no sense to think a black American man who say his preference is for black woman because they understand his struggle and think that this statement is open to an ethiopian or kenyan woman who was not assimilated into black american culture.

We agree. That's exactly what I am saying, particularly the bolded. My point is that 'black' is doing double and triple duty with respect to different context. Yes a Black American man speaking on "black community", or "black culture", is doing so in an enthocultural context. With refined language there is no need for "context" at all. Nobody can say "why are you making everything about race,"or "your race isn't the only one with struggles*", if you have a specific refined vocabulary beyond race.


And to your original point which I agreed with in my original post, if you specify on that level, nobody can then veer off and start talking about racial struggle when they really should be saying I want somebody of my culture. It is the equally-yoked culture that should be getting headlined with respect for desire for a relationship, and focused on, as opposed to rooting it in mutual struggle; since as you stated, culture is broader than relative adversity.**

*Thus, with the refined language, **and rooting in culture rather than struggle; the topic of the video could have lasted 5 seconds long and we wouldn't even have a thread.